The Dow Jones Industrial Average hit an all-time record high, so it's time to celebrate! We the people have regained the wealth we lost five and a half years ago! It's time to throw a $16 billion par-tay!
I can't wait to roll around in those kinds of bills, can you? That $16 billion recovery works out to $50.79 per American. But before you run out and get yourself a new toaster oven for this evening's celebratory Hors d'oeuvres, here's the caveat: "The rebound in wealth has benefited mostly wealthier Americans. The Dow Jones industrial average has just set a record high, and roughly 80 percent of stocks are held by the wealthiest 10 percent of households."
Forbes just added 17 Americans to its Billionaires List. There are a total of 442 Americans on the list, more than any other country. This is all part of a growing economy, right? Not so much for the 800,000 people facing furlough and a 20 percent pay cut. And while Americans just can't hear "too big to fail" too much, they sure as hell can get too much of small businesses, which are now deemed too small to give a rat's ass about.
This "recovery" doesn't look at all like the picture painted by the rich. It's way more like your car stealing, toilet hugging, piggybank stealing alcoholic relatives getting out of the rehabilitation center you paid for who are driving your car past you as you walk to work. Never mind you've yet to figure out how to get rid of the putrid smell they left in your bathroom; those jack-offs hit the lottery and are now making headlines that are calling you out as "unsupportive" and "enabling." And the rest of your family is eating it up.
Dana Saporta, an economist at Credit Suisse, said the $16 billion worth of good news, "Should boost consumption, because as people feel wealthier they tend to spend more. It doesn't necessarily mean that households will go on a spending spree." Well, that's not entirely true.