“Racially balanced” as in “The Republican Party is very racially balanced.” This phrase is used during hurriedly arranged photo ops after someone of prominence has made the insinuation to the mainstream media that the Religious/Political right is composed of mostly rich white men. Someone is bound to utter this phrase just as you notice that all of the women, blacks and hispanics in the group have suddenly been pushed up into the front row smiling proudly, not realizing that behind them the next solid three rows are the white guys grinning for the camera because they know that they’re really the ones in charge.
“Judeo-Christian Values” Note Judeo always comes first. This phrase is used often and loudly when the right-wing Christian section is emphasizing that they have generously included Jews in their outrage about abortion, gay rights, or tax breaks for major corporations. Usually the next day the more extreme fundamentalists of the group give a sermon to their followers stressing that while they love their Jewish brothers (well, maybe just enough to get the election swung in their favor), they must still realize that in order for Jews to get into their heaven, they still must first accept Jesus Christ as their savior. Sort of how they feel about their private golf clubs.
“Pro-business liberal” This one threw me the first time I saw it in print, because by rights, according to all good conservatives, there is no such thing as a “pro-business liberal”. Apparently this phrase is employed to throw blame at liberal democrats with their liberal businesses joining the liberal wing of the Republican Party and ruining everything. In other words, just throw the word “liberal” on anything to make it sound bad or to assign or distract blame.
“God, America, and the flag”, is the new holy trinity, replacing “Baseball, mom, and apple pie”. You must worship all three equally or be branded a traitorous liberal unchristian deviant.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Good job and entertaining, but try to skewer the other side next time. I realize that this may be a bit harder for you. I hate to say it, but their versions of doubletalk are just as bad. And would be just as funny if thy were not also as damaging...
2 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
'Impeed is what 'im did after drinking a whole bottle of J&B and watching the pink elephant descend from the ceiling and impede ím's path to the bathroom. It was a sorry mess.
3 - Jet in Columbus
Damn it Ruvy! You beat me to putting in the first comment! I was going to dedicate it to Andy Marsh, one of my biggest "first comment" fans!!.
I also wanted to refute his "Ugly American" monikor too, check out his URL he's pretty cute in a sexy scruffy kinda way!
4 - Jet in Columbus
Ruvy-Re #1... Thank you sir, coming from you, that means a lot. However to fulfil your request would mean going into the other half of my split personality, which could be dangerous.
I'll talk to my shrink and get back to you.
Thanks again!
5 - Jet in Columbus
re Ruvy #2... I've seen that elephant too, as a matter of fact everyone one can, simply click on the icon for the Republican War on Science above, and check out the book cover!
Thanks again my friend
6 - Maurice
Very funny!
As a black/conservative/athiest/hillbilly/cynic I think many of the above phrases could apply to both sides. In fact I had to recheck the title to make sure I knew which group you were lampooning. The following are the only ones that seemed clearly from the right:
"Some of my best friends are gay."
"God created dinosaur bones, but not real dinosaurs!"
"I am praying for you!"
Wish I could have gotten in comment #1. Damn!
7 - Jet in Columbus
Maurice ...black/conservative/athiest, hillbilly/cynic!!! And I thought my shrink had her hands full!
thanks for contributing
8 - Nancy
Some cretin actually SAID that about the bones?! Who? I missed that one! I'll bet they don't even have the brains or eddumacation to be ashamed.
9 - Jet in Columbus
Nancy, I'm not having luck with links lately, but let's try it anyway, click here! and check the comments at the bottom of the page
10 - Jet in Columbus
It that link doesn't work, he responded to a very informative comment from Ruvy, by posting the following...
Brother Ruvy, sure there are answers to Jet's questions. A willful mind can conjure up an endless number.
For example, perhaps G-d directly created dinosaur bones as fossils and planted them just to test our faith. I've heard of Christians actually speculating as much.
# posted by Al : Wednesday, April 05, 2006 3:05:49 AM
11 - Nancy
Uhhhh...Jet, which 'Al' is that? Not Barger, surely?
12 - Jet in Columbus
Nancy re 11... I don't know, maybe Ruvy knows who it is, it was a response to his comment on my own site.
13 - Andy Marsh
Alright...enough already...you made me blush! Now I have to read this freaking thing and really comment on it...damn.
14 - Andy Marsh
Jet - the first thing I can think to say is...this is old news man and I think your facts are just a bit erroneous...but don't worry about it 'cause I'm praying for you brother...and oh yeah...some of my best friends ARE gay...really!
Budget surplus...that's like using words like keen and neato...things of the past!
good read.
and the reason I took the name the ugly american was because there used to be a quite funny but extremely cynical Canadian around here that used to call me ugly 'murrican and I liked it. There's some stuff around here at BC for Jim Carruthers...
15 - Jet in Columbus
I await with breathless anticipation Andy!
16 - Jet in Columbus
Andy 14, Thank you sir.
17 - Dan
""Your facts are erroneous" is a phrase used most often when they know Democrats are speaking the truth, but they haven't found time to "Google or Yahoo" something opposing from a right-wing slanted website to refute it yet."
Jet, I hope this isn't in reference to "Jet's Hate-tionary" part I.
If so, I have half a mind to bookmark that page and return there bi-monthly to do annoying, taunting, victory jigs, while simultaneously Evangelizing in a very smug, self-rightous way.
Remember, it was I who was vindicated.
you
guys
fled.
18 - Jet in Columbus
Wrong Dan, I just chose to ignore you.
19 - Dan
You choose to ignore truth.
20 - Jet in Columbus
Dan #17 wrote...If so, I have half a mind [Yes indeed, that's obvious] to bookmark that page and return there bi-monthly to do annoying, taunting, victory jigs, while simultaneously Evangelizing in a very smug, self-rightous way.
Danny boy, you're welcome any time you want to say anything you like as long as you have something intelligent to contribute to this forum.
Otherwise you're just proving to everyone here what a smug jackass you really are, whose only purpose in life is to taunt and annoy.
I feel sorry for you.
21 - SteveS
you forgot 'liberal elite'. It's used to show liberals who are 'out of touch with the common man' and was used against Kerry in the last election.
Liberal elite can be defined as a liberal who is out of touch with the common man because he went to the same colleges as the conservative elite who feel your pain.
22 - SteveS
perhaps we need to define what vindication means. It actually doesn't mean 'to clear out a room'.
23 - Jet in Columbus
SteveS 21-Thanks, I'll save it for volume 3
24 - Jet in Columbus
SteveS #22, in his alternate universe it does apparently.
25 - NR Davis
Hey, libs pray too. I have so many fundies on my prayer list it's ridiculous.