The Political Games We Play

That sound you hear is Gilles Dushlepp choking on his poutine* after he heard Prime Minister Stephen 'Don't Make my Blue Eyes Brown' Harper's plan to make Quebec a nation within a nation-state of nations among nations in a quasi-functional democratic and fragmented Canada. I have exclusive information of what he said as soon as it was unveiled: "Tabarnouche!"

One has to wonder when will the deck of cards collapse. It seems that surreal some times.

Yeah, Harper strategically pulled the red carpet from under Duceppe's feet. However, I wonder about all this nonsense about nationhood. 40 years** of this crap is starting to make Jack a dull boy.

Harper's plan makes sense since this is how Quebec has been functioning and operating for a while now anyway. The only thing Quebec is missing is the right to mint its own coin and print its own passports - I'm sure Quebecor Media Inc. will offer them a good deal since they will buy in bulk.

In a country that is more decentralized than any Federal nation-state this side of Des Moines, we are all de facto fiefdoms within a concept called Canada. The fact is, Canada is a mere warehouse of shoddy parochial provinces. Nothing more, nothing less. The presence of the Bloc Quebecois*** is the ultimate expression of a functional democracy to some. Perhaps, but it's also proof of a dysfunctional one.

Canada is divided. Quebec is divided. The irony is that while Quebecers are convinced that the territorial borders as presently defined belong to Quebec, the Cree think otherwise. And as we have seen, there's a small but vocal contingent of Montrealers who will seek to secede from Quebec if the Province moves on to find the world on its own. Devolution #9, devolution #9...Repeat. It's fun. It's like that Beatles song.

For its part, Quebec in particular has never, ever, never, satisfactorily explained to us Quebecers, who want Quebec to progress and succeed, exactly how they would proceed as a separate nation. For example, what about the economic game plan? 20% unemployment in some parts of the Province, high welfare numbers and way too many unions. Explain to me how this leads to a dynamic nation getting ready to explore the world? How! Economics? Bah! Anglophone propaganda! Duceppe is a Marxist - though I hear he collects rent through his apartment buildings he owns - and if it's one thing Marxist suck at it's economics.

Article Author: Alessandro Nicolo

Alessandro Nicolo is an obtuse freelance writer living in obscene obscurity.

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