The Onion's Top Ten Stories Of The Year (And Other Tall Tales)

#1. Bush Elected President of Iraq.

Bush, who surged in the polls after all of the other candidates were killed by either coalition forces or insurgents in the final week leading up to the election, characterized his victory as the dawn of democracy in the Middle East, and proof that the system works.

...
#3 Pope Died As He Lived, Propped Up For Public Viewing

"While Pope John Paul II, the man, may have passed on, we must never forget what he, with the help of assistants gripping him by the upper arms, stood for." To the faithful, Pope John Paul II was a figurehead who can never be replaced, except by whichever figurehead is chosen to stand in his place.

...
#6 Prince Charles Weds Longtime Horse

"Her Majesty is happier still to announce that the new Duchess Of Cornwall possesses a strong carriage, healthy teeth, and an unimpeachable bloodline." Following the ceremony, the reclusive couple retreated to the Birkhall Estate near Balmoral Castle in Scotland, where they celebrated their new union by posing for photographs and going for a brisk trot in the courtyard.

...
#9 White House Celebrates Fifth Straight Year Without Oral Sex

"I can assure that no one—including myself, Dick Cheney, Karl Rove, 'Scooter' Libby, or Condi Rice—has been the recipient, or provider, of the kind of unnatural, depraved, and frankly gross sexual act that, not too long ago, disgraced this office in the eyes of the world." Bush was then joined on stage by Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist (R-TN) and Tom DeLay to cut a perfectly square, frostingless vanilla cake made especially for the occasion.

And So It Goes

Blogcritics Writers celebrated Satire this year, too, sometimes quite successfully.

A few selections:

Pat Robertson Calls for Destruction of Hoover Dam

"Las Vegas is the most satanic place on earth, next to Hollywierd. It is filled with the Devils every temptation. Once he even tricked me into thinking this harlot, Miss Domino, was a Christian in need.

Bush Defends Choice of Harriet Miers A cartoon

Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2

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Article Author: Aaman Lamba

Aaman Lamba is a Blogcritics editor, as well as the Publisher of Desicritics.org, a Blogcritics network site covering media, politics, culture, sports and more with a global South Asian focus

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Article comments

  • 1 - Aaman

    Jan 01, 2006 at 1:53 pm

    The Funnies of the year - 2005, that is

  • 2 - shaylynn

    Mar 15, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    wow have more tall tales because i have a project to do plz due tomorrow

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