Following the publication of The Duke's Guide To Ireland Part One, what dealt with the historicalised history of The Ireland, an email popped in The Duke's inbox from the esteemed Dr. Terry Hughes, who knows all about The Ireland and the politics, maybe even as much as The Duke, although, granted, that's a bit far fetched, really.
So what Terry Hughes had to say was this here - "How could you forget about the United Irishmen, Duke? These motherfuckers were the real thang, dogg." I'm paraphrasing, and it's unlikely Dr. Hughes would use the term dogg to denote anything but canines. But the point is clear - The Duke left out a damn important part of the old history.
However, there's a reason for this, and the reason is as follows;
The Duke was keeping those United Irishmen for this second instalment, what deals with the political shenanigans and such.
The Duke's Guide To Ireland Part Two
The Political Shenanigans And Such
Much is made by reporters in the media and various other clubs about the whole political turmoil what is festering away over here in Northern Ireland. They talk about the folks what blow up the village square, and then the other folks what shoot the first folks on account of they want some vengeance.
These folks take the Charles Bronson route to justice, being the route that requires a big fucking baseball bat and various firearms.
But what's behind all this bombing and shooting and sundry despicable actions? The answer is that it is the politics what is behind it all.
Politics, as defined by the Decree Regarding Politicalised Politics Of 1879, deals with that which some folks think we should all be thinking. Some of these lot, with regards the Ireland, think that Northern Ireland and Southern Ireland should get down together and get on with the sexing and so on, and have nothing to do with those British lot.
For a thorough examination of those British lot, see Part One.
Then there's others, sometimes not so far away from the first bunch, maybe just across the table, and they think that the North should having nothing to do with the South, like Patrick Swayze thought back in the day on the television. They say The North is British, and should remain so, and should have nothing to do with the papacy or the Irish government.
Nobody, incidentally, seems to give a flying fuck about the East or West.
Article comments
1 - sheri
OMG that's funny! :0)
2 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
Glad you liked it Sherri. Y'see, some folks think the educationalising of the internet is a bad thing, but i'd like to state for the record thats its not a bad thing at all, but a good thing. thanks.
3 - Anon
Excellent! And pretty informative too, for someone who doesn't know shit about the Troubles, except that the IRA and the British both killed people and it was a bloody mess for a while there. And hilarious too!
On a serious note though, glad to see that the violence has all but died out, and that (morbid as this may sound) the death tolls never amounted to anything near anything like the Russian:Chechen situation, which this parallels in more ways than one!
Can we expect more political commentary from you in the future?
4 - Aaron, Duke De Mondo
thank you Anon. glad you found this piece to be as wonderful as i did. As to the posibility of future political yackings, i dunno man. I'm scared that The Duke will get lambasted as a left-wing fuck / right-wing fuck / miscellenous fuck.
Who knows what lies in store? But thank you for the kind words!