Terror Suspects Charge Abuse In Vatican Prison - Page 2

3. Internet access. Mr. Burblehead alleges that WiFi access is "spotty" and wonders if the Italians have ever even heard of broadband. "This is the Italian state telephone company we're talking about here, for God's sake," said Burblehead.

4. Food. The lawyer says that the food is just too good, preventing his client from going on a hunger strike. "He has become especially partial to certain Italian pasta dishes like Shrimp Papardelle," said Burblehead. "How, in God's name, can one expect to go on a hunger strike in Italy? In Rome, no less?"

Attorneys for the two other men charged in the same case are also alleging intolerable conditions for the clients, with one barrister threatening to take their case to the United Nations.

"There is only one organization that can understand what our clients are experiencing," said Tupak Sixpak, an attorney representing an alleged terrorist who was found with 16 sticks of dynamite and structural plans for St. Peter's, but who maintains he had nothing whatsoever to do with the plot. "Only the UN will appreciate our clients' innocence and the unnecessarily abusive conditions of their incarceration."

Mr. Sixpak likens the imprisonment of his client to the persecution of early Christian martyrs who endured unspeakable atrocities at the hands of Roman authorities nearly 2000 years ago.

"Not much has changed in 2000 years," said Sixpak. "I can see the similarities between the way my client has been abused with the suffering of the early Christians. In fact, my client is a modern day martyr and should be released so that he can fulfill his lifelong dream of sacrificing his life for his cause."

Article Author: Rick Moran

Rick Moran is a conservative free lance writer living in the great Ex-Urbs of Chicago, IL.

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