Why should the players from SNL have all the fun? Instead of reading body lingo the candidates should tell us what’s really on their minds. The setting: Barack Obama in his second debate gets to speak first, then John McCain, in a town hall-style debate in Nashville, Tennessee, moderated by Tom Brokaw.
If debate openers were truthful they might sound something like this: Obama first looks McCain in the eye and says, “John, even though we both voted yes, under duress, for that insipid bailout bill, there are fundamental differences between us. Clearly I am taller, darker, and nicer — the handsome, elitist Democrat who happens to be better educated but less experienced. Therefore, you should end this charade in the interest of the American people and concede the election to me rather than debate me.”
McCain’s turn: “My friends, my opponent is clearly black. But I don’t want to leave you with just that thought. No, I want to have at least one real Reagan moment before this election ends and say 'I won’t exploit his youth and inexperience.' You know the voting drill (smirk/tick) — vote for the white guy. That, my friends, is the right thing to do.”
With the truth out of the way what happened tonight?
Wise Use of Winks
George W. Bush winks into the camera. While McCain did not get folksy, he did turn and look at Obama and even complimented him by saying that an Obama supporter, Warren Buffet, would be an ideal choice to replace Henry Paulson (Brokaw states that Paulson will not remain treasury secretary). McCain prefaced his answer by saying that it should be someone with name recognition, meaning a trusted handler of the economy.
What sacrifices should Americans make to ease the economic crisis? McCain said that defense spending is not working, we need to eliminate earmarks with a spending freeze across the board, and establish priorities. Obama invoked names, too. He reminded us that Bush told everyone to “go shopping” after 9/11. He turned the tables on the Republicans by talking about smart energy and drilling to ease the crisis. Social security and Medicare are on the table: Obama hit McCain on giving big breaks that would undermine both entitlements to the fat cats on Wall Street.
Article comments
1 - Dr Dreadful
If there actually was "someone with name recognition... a trusted handler of the economy", don't you think that under the current circumstances they would have been dug up by now?
2 - Joanne Huspek
Dr, I'd rather have a smart guy than a famous guy anyday.
3 - Dr Dreadful
Agreed. But if there were someone with the necessary competence, he or she ought to have name recognition at least among economists, if not the general public. One would hope the White House would have tapped them by now.
Then again, this is the Bush White House we're talking about...
4 - Clavos
IMO, anyone who is truly competent would not be interested, given the nasty political environment in this country these days. Anyone who presents themselves for service to the nation is subjected to humiliating scrutiny of purely personal matters, they are excoriated relentlessly for mere slips of the tongue, and are insulted and vilified constantly.
Why would anyone with pure motives and real competence subject themselves to that?
The fact is, all the people we DO get are in it for ulterior motives, mostly having to do with the acquisition of power. A careful examination of our current political class reveals a decidedly second class group of citizens, with few (perhaps no) white hats in the bunch, and certainly no competent ones.
5 - bliffle
It's even worse than that. If they find the right guy, then immediately he's surrounded by people with vested interests to look out for.
6 - Bro-in-Law
Does anyone know what great economic and financial minds are advising those politicos on recovery?
I would think men like Jaime Dimon, CEO of Morgan Chase, should homestead there until this crisis is under control.