Whilst we may shed a tear for these soon to be obsolete fragments of our grammar, we can at least wipe the tears away with the handkerchief of glee. Thousands of citizens, so long reviled and puked upon by society, have finally been granted the right to say "I am a swearer, and I don't give a f**k what y'all think, b***h."
For the first time since 1956, swearwords have been added to the pledge of allegiance. Across the country this week, schoolchildren will stand before the flag and, with hand placed diligently on heart, proclaim; "God bless America. I f**king love this motherf**king country, is what."
But what does the future hold for swearing? Tourettes sufferers, for example, have been forced to adjust their vocabulary in advance of today's announcement. Many have chosen to holler the names of athletes shamed by drugs tests. Others announce their love of Ricky Martin.
It's a great day for democracy, but also a great day for people who say f**k, s**t, c**t-face and so on. Think of them when you listen to the words of the poets long censored, and think, "What price was paid in gut-riddled flesh that I might hear the songs about 'suck my motherf**king c**k'?"
Roughly 400 million dollars, is exactly how much.
The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando
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