Thousands gathered in Washington today to cheer, clap, laugh, other festivities, as congress issued the long-rumoured statement which finally settles the age old argument.
Swearing, is it big and clever?
Yes, says congress. You bet your f**king a** it is.
Senator Ronald Powell read from several long-censored manuscripts, now declassified and preparing to be issued to 700 educational establishments before the end of the month.
Candles were held aloft in broad daylight, as the final act of Romeo And Juliet was read by a visibly emotional Powell.
"Juliet, because I love you so f**king much, what I'm gonna do right now is drink this here s**t and probably drop like a motherf**king fly, is what."
Also, scholars relished the chance to hear long-thought-lost excerpts from Shakespeare's original draft of Hamlet.
"What the f**k? She's your f**king mom, man, you sick motherf**ker!"
Of course, where one to jump in a machine of some kind what might travel through time and so on, one would be surprised to find that these versions of the classic plays were performed as recently as 1799. Critical journals of the time reveal devastating attacks on Shakespeare's limited vocabulary, which he responded to in kind by inventing over 1'700 words for future use in his plays and also "the language".
Some individuals, however, find this development to be far from joyous, and in fact, find it quite unfortunate.
Roland Jeffers of The National Union Of The Asterisk had this to say;
"The asterisk has been used in popular culture for as long as the printing press have been in service. If these words are no longer censored, shamed, pointed at derisively, then all that's left for us to do is to find work in government documents, which as you know, is a fairly limited area."
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