Shortly after Terri Schiavo's death on Thursday, her parents released a stunning statement to the press:
"We apologize for what we’ve done. We now realize it was a deluded, selfish move on our part, and that rather than extending Terri's life, our many legal wranglings over the years merely extended her death."
Early Friday morning, Pope John Paul II made a deathbed confession; it is quoted verbatim below:
"I want to apologize to all those affected by the many years of child sexual abuse — and subsequent cover-ups by the Catholic Church. I also want to acknowledge an error in our interpretation of Scripture: The Catholic Church will no longer oppose birth control; as a matter of fact, in view of AIDS, overpopulation, and worldwide poverty, we now encourage it."
From Reuters News (Baghdad) — Late last night, after a long harmonious meeting among the recently elected Iraqi counsel members — they released the following statement regarding the future of their nation:
"We want to assure the world and the people of Iraq that Shiite, Sunni, and Kurd representatives will continue to cooperate in the spirit of democracy and nationalistic brotherly love. We have voted to form a new constitution based on that of the United States, and promise that a separation of Church and State will be of paramount importance in our political future."
From The Houston Chronicle, 3/31/05 - Late on Thursday, in a letter delivered simultaneously to The Houston Chronicle and the Speaker of the House, Rep. Tom DeLay apologized to the people of the United States in a resignation letter. In part, the letter said:
"Having been disgraced by an ethics investigation into my many political monetary pay-offs over the years — coupled with the recent news that I authorized the discontinuation of care of my terminally ill elderly father while opportunistically beating my chest over Terri whats-her-name's right to live as a vegetable, I will resign immediately; and furthermore, I promise to leave the public stage, crawl under a rock, and kill myself for the betterment of humankind in general. I'm sorry, but I hope that drilling a series of 1/4 inch holes into my forehead with a power drill can partially redeem the damage I've done to my office, the American public, and the people of Texas."
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Article comments
1 - DrPat
Re: Your link from last year - Is this year's effort called the New Initiative Task Committee?
2 - Eric Olsen
I, for one, am stunned
3 - Jon Sobel
Ach! If only!
4 - alienboy
I wish this hadn't been written on April Fool's Day...lol
5 - Temple Stark
It's a start Tom. Parasite.
6 - Victor Plenty
Now now, Temple. Don't insult parasites that way. After all, parasites perform a useful function in the biosphere, which is far more than can be said of certain prominent political figures.
7 - Temple Stark
And for anyone who is scandalized that people don't like DeLay, can you name one good thing he has done for his country or his state?
8 - daddio
DeLay is worse than pond scum! Shrub deserves a partner like him on capitol hill. The Schiavo thing sure backfired on him. He does the right thing and lets his oldman die with dignity but the rest of us have to respect vegitative life of all sorts. Every sperm is sacred! Even if it is deformed and in a vegitative state. Hey even the Pope was allowed to die without extraodinary measures being taken. What a bunch of hypocrites!