In honor of Black History Month, some black leaders have proposed legislation to ban the "N" word. Are they right?
On February 1, the first day of Black history Month was ushered in with a bit of local media brouhaha here in New York when Queens Councilman Leroy Comrie, hip-hop artist Kurtis Blow Walker, and other community leaders headed a press conference calling for a symbolic, non-binding resolution urging New Yorkers to stop using the "n" word. Though no one could possibly imagine this could be made into a real law (just for starters, the First Amendment implications would be huge) it did give people of all races ample food for thought.…
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226 - Elvira Black
Oops--meant the hat tip for Zedd. And no, I can definitely tell you two apart! (Just a little joke--don't get upset, please.)
227 - Zedd
To continue on the above post.
What is significant about the cultural misinterpretation is that it affects people economically.
The assessments of those missionaries had a direct impact on how international policies were formed and the resulting and current economic situations in most developing nations were shaped by those misdiagnosis.
People (mainly the West), approached those groups as if they were dealing with subhumans. They assumed that they did not possess the same values including a value for their own lives. What ensued was a ravaging of their societies (land, resources, culture). The people were left with a mess once the invaders were repelled. The resulting chaos is what we witness today.
The misinterpretation of AAs by even well intentioned people who don't have the natural or taught sensitivity to interact inter culturally, has caused a mess which AAs are constantly trying to swim out of.
What is sad is that once that mess is created, a self fulfilling prophesy takes affect.
Side note: I am not sure if after a year of reading Ruvy's contributions if anyone on these threads would look at him as an ambassador. It seems to me he was not the person to place in that position.
228 - Elvira Black
Zedd:
OK now. It seems clear that despite some differences, you and I--and even Heloise and I --have a helluva lot in common in terms of our most basic viewpoints.
Rather than continue to turn this into a pissing contest, I'd like to be able to feel that our spat actually came to some good.
OK. You say I can't move on. But Zedd, with all due respect, I feel like it is you who can't move on--from the 20th century to the 21st, to be precise.
You are still fighting those old battles, and meanwhile the world has changed, we are globally connected, and there are not too many KKK members lynching blacks in the streets anymore. Blacks (and women) are now represented in virtually every field here, save for President, and who knows. The fact that there's a viable black candidate is extraordinary given how medieval the US was in terms of civil rights a mere 50 years ago.
So why can't I move on from your spat with Ruvy? Because despite all evidence to the contrary, you are still calling him a liar and turning his mitzvahs (or good deeds) around and accusing him of base motives in trying to help minority inner city youth.
I think what he told that kid was the best thing he could have said. That's what I would have wanted his own father to tell him, if he truly wanted his son to succeed and be happy in life.
My b/f moved to NYC in 1970 and he and his then-wife moved into a very dangerous area (at the time), the East Village/Alphabet City area.
During the years he lived there, his apt was burglarized, his next door neighbor who was a porn actress was brutally murdered, and he was mugged at knifepoint twice by black and Latino drug addicts.
During one mugging, while he was being held against a wall, with one guy holding a knife to his throat and the other a board of naiils to his face, a cop car miraculously drove by. The kids were caught red handed, and recieved maybe a year or so.
BG testified against them, and the mothers of the Spanish kids tried to entreat him to have mercy because they were "sick."
They had to be admonished not to say another word to BG or be charged with obsctruction of justice.
Now I can understand unconditional mother love and all, but do you think the judge should have let them go scot free, or did they deserve their year in jail and more?
BG saw them again on the same streets after they were released, but thankfully they didn't seem to recognize him. I'm sure they'd forgotten his face long ago, as he was not a person to them but just another potential source for their next angry fix.
And lastly, Ruvy is a religious man. His religion not only commands him to do mitzvahs, but many many other obligations and rituals that would boggle your mind if you knew of them, which I'm assuming you don't. I feel fairly certain that Ruvy would therefore be obligated to tell the G-d's honest truth about what happened to him back then, and considering the state of the inner cities in that now-long ago era, I "know" that it is all too true.
Until and unless you can admit that of course this incident could occur, and moreover occurred all over the country back in the day, you and I have come to an implacable impasse.
As long as you feel it is best to excuse criminal behavior based on the color of someone's skin, rather than expect them to abide by society's rules rather than the rules of the gutter and the prison yard, then we will never see eye to eye.
As long as you hold onto your cherished, obsolete views of the real state of racism in this country as of 2007 in favor of trying to get special dispensation from everyone from Christopher on up or down, and to enable youths who could have a beautiful future to embrace their "blackness" (read: anti-Americanism) to their own and others's detriment, then there is little more we can say to each other.
But you've said many times that the whole thing is funny and absurd. That, Zedd, is the key--to let the light of humor in.
Even after Heloise said the most outrageous things about Jews, I'm glad she did and that Chrisopher saw fit to keep her comments in rather than "protecting" others (but most of all, hereself) from having such awful things emerge blinking from the darkness and out into the clear light of day.
It is only by airing our dirty laundry--by coming out and saying all the awful non-PC things that we think in our hearts and say behind closed doors--that we can ever hope to overcome misunderstanding and hatred between blacks, whites, Jews, et al.
As I've said, that's what comedians do all the time--make us laugh at ourselves and others and therefore realize how absurd the whole human condition really is. Save for a Michael Richards gig, I daresay most audiences leave a good comedy show laughing and smiling rather than fighting and snarling at each other.
Christopher--this ital thing is no longer my doing. Can you fix, please? If not, no biggie.
229 - MCH
Attn, Phillip Winn
I nominate the following for "Comment of the Day":
"I can just see little Clavos (I imagine him to be real tiny) sitting at the feet of this Jewish lady (like Ray Ramano's mom), except she's dressed in sausage tight black mermaid dress like the character Elvira. He's massaging her toes and she's online typing wildly like an organist. She pauses only to insult him and telling him that he failed to rub in the technique that she asked for. She is all hysterical and saying that he failed her and is working for THE ILK, in a twiney obnoxious voice. Clavos sobs and begs for forgiveness only she's forgotten what she said to him and is rambling on loudly over his apology about what color she is going to use for her next manicure and how Zedd and her ilk (I love having an ilk... never had one before), anyway, how they are peering into her bathroom window. Clavos picks up a butcher knife....no... a GUN, no several guns. He debates between pistols, semiautomatic handguns, machine pistols, revolvers and "derringers". He clenches his fists and moans out loud "Ohhhhh WWDD!!!" (what would Dave do??). He decides to go for all of them. When he lifts them, he discovers that they are too heavy for his itty bitty self so he falls down and shoots a huge hole in the ceiling. A couch falls on him and he's coughing, covered with huge balls of lint and dust. Elvira screams "quit lying around!!!. Could you fix me a burrito or something" ? Alas, The ILK escapes."
- Zedd
230 - Elvira Black
Heloise, many thanks for your comment.
Let me first get this minor matter out of the way.
Firstly, you said that some of your boyfriends were Jewish, but in your prior comments you said that they were white but not Jewish, as I recall.
My boyfriend pulls this on me all the time. He'll change his story in the interests of "winning" an argument. So then I have to play district attorney and ask him: "Were you stretching the truth then or are you now"? (lol)
I appreciate what you have told me about your experiences while going for your degree, and can now see all too well why you felt the way you did. I don't know what year this was, but as I said to Zedd, these horrible things did indeed happen routinely--to Jews and other minorities too, earlier in the last century--but what about now?
In any case you got the last laugh on those pretentious, bigoted profs. The ends, I daresay, justified the crap you had to go through to get there. Better to endure than to give in and let them tell you you couldn't succeed and prove them "right". Some people will actually take up the challenge with even more vigor and determination so they can someday have the satisfaction of proving all those assholes wrong.
But they don't really matter now--their time has come and gone, you were able to utilize what they could give you in spite of themselves, and their views are rapidly becoming as extinct as the dinosaur. They are reaping what they sowed as far as their karma goes.
No, their legacy still lives on to a smaller extent, but I think we've arrived at an era where perhaps formerly "oppressed" groups now face the challenge of helping others to want to succeed in precisely the ways you did.
I think education is by far one of the most surefire ways to success in every imaginable sense--not just economically. Most academic institutions require a liberal arts core that I think is invaluable in order to shake up a student's often narrow view of the world and open their eyes to the breadth and scope and complexity of things.
As for the Jewish prof: as I've been the first to admit, I have nothing but sheer contempt for any fellow Jew who contributes to the unfortunate prejudices and stereotypes many still harbor against Jews thanks in part to her reprehensible behavior. By living up to the stereotype, she is incurring the resentment and hatred of blacks and other groups as well, and for good reason.
By the same token, those who wish to embrace their "blackness" to the point where they are left in the dust, for the sheer satisfaction of thumbing their nose at the world, are in a tragic position.
Zedd and Ruvy both felt that the black youth he worked with had promise, and fortunately he did. In my opinion, it's now up to the black community, every other community, society at large, the media (Jewish run or not), and the federal and local government to put their money where their mouths are and do something concrete for these kids.
There is nothing more tragic to my mind than the thought of kids who are basically decent underneath all the bluster who are nevertheless left behind due to a shitty public school system, uninvolved parents (who may not have the means to be as involved as those wealthier parents who shuttle their kids to soccer and ballet and piano lessons), overworked teachers, lack of community resources such as after school centers, a general dearth of positive mentors and role models, and an overweening apathy and/or dearth of hope that anything can really be done.
Everyone has incredible potential. Everyone has talents and abilities that can either be stymied or encouraged to develop.
My boyfriend was a born artist--so good that one of his grade school teachers refused to believe that he hadn't received help from his parents when he brought in one of his take-home art projects--sort of like your experience in a way. Though they were proud of him, it never occurred to his parents in a million years that he could do anything concrete with this talent of his. Back then, being an artist, writer, musician etc was considered a very dicey way to go if one wanted to put bread on the table.
If he were born to an upper middle class family of today, he would have been afforded the best education money could buy, and doubtless been encouraged to continue onto college and/or art school via a merit based scholarship.
Conversely, as a middle class Jewish girl, it was not only expected that I would go on to college, but for all intents and purposes required to. BG's parents did not have the means to send any of their kids to college, and their philosophy was that an honest day's work of any kind, from garbageman up, was ok. It is, certainly, but if you have the education to take you beyond that point and give you the options you deserve, I think that is a much better scenario.
Meanwhile, BG made his way in the world and survived many hardships. His talent remains, and though he is certainly not a household world, he is nevertheless a king in his own household.
Same thing goes for his late sister and two out of his three brothers, who all felt compelled to join the military as their dad did because they got the message that it was a secure career path. The other brother joined the air force too, but took advantage of the GI bill to get a bachelors and master's and now makes a very nice living indeed.
Unfortunately again, unless one is a commissioned officer (which typically requires a college level degree) there is a glass ceiling in the armed forces which is impossible to break out of. Hence his dad has not received all the benefits he was entitled to, but not only was too afraid of authority to speak up in his own defense, but has succeeded in sending this very same message to all his children--most of whom have not lived up to their full potential.
In any case, Heloise, I thank you for your comment, as well as your earlier ones. I think it all needed to be said. Prior to this, I was frankly mystified and infuriated at your attitude, but can now see at least some of the rationale for it. BG has also received some shabby exploitative treatment at the hands of Jewish employers over the years, and though he holds no resentments against them, I emphatically do.
Again, many thanks to my fellow BC writer. I have learned some things from you I did not yet know--'til today.
231 - Zedd
Elvira
It will help to expand this discussion if you would refer to specific statments that have been made about a topic as aposed to extrapulating from your perception of the contributors.
I don't know how to tell you any more clearly, you keep making statements about things that have nothing to do with what I believe or ascribe to. Simple little ideas that are so far removed from my world view. Just stick to my assesments as ascribed on this thread.
I don't know what to say to you when you say things like As long as you hold onto your cherished, obsolete views of the real state of racism in this country as of 2007 in favor of trying to get special dispensation from everyone from Christopher on up or down, and to enable youths who could have a beautiful future to embrace their "blackness" (read: anti-Americanism) to their own and others's detriment, then there is little more we can say to each other. It just stops any form of communication because we have not discussed such views with you. I reeeeeeeally dont know what you are talking about. It seems that you over extrapulate.
I don't even understand what you mean by that statement. It almost sounds as if you are saying "blackness" is detremental to Blacks and others. I will assume that you didn't mean that because that would be strange. It would be more strange for you to expect me (a Black woman) to agree with you. I don't even know what you mean by "blackness". Please teach me.
Also I don't know Heloise. Why do you continue to mention her when responding to me? I don't know what to do with those comments.
I don't know how long you have been reading... Ruvy :o) does not act like a religious man on BC.
232 - Clavos
Re #229:
I second the nomination.
It's hilarious!
(wish I could get all this dust off me!)
233 - Zedd
My major position on what has been said about AAs on this thread is:
No one knows how to solve the issues with AAs because in no time in history has the particular events that have shaped them EVER occurred. The SPECIFIC components of this situation are new to our species. Attempting to fit other people's experiences to this scenario is useless.
Also, attempting to lecture on the issue is useless. “They need to xy or z” is strange when you haven't done it yourself under the SAME circumstances. How would you know what they need to do? It also suggests that they don’t know what to do and YOU do. It also dismisses the millions who have struggled out. Millions are doing it. It just takes time as it should because this is not a movie.
What we can focus on are the barriers that impede progress and address them individually. I work with preteens and introduce them to society through teaching what the norms are, taking them outside of their community (various settings) and we practice expected behavior. I have other programs that address a particular issue. I am starting a marriage program to emphasize the significance of marriage. It will address the issue with various age groups.... We are beginning an entrepreneurial venture, I could go on...
Insisting that I call or see the inhabitants of the inner city as BAD or ANGRY or HATING WHITES is crazy because its not true.
What is most interesting is that you have a greater likelihood of being hated for being WHITE by your professional person than any one in the inner city. They don't care about you. They are just living their lives.
For those people that will take one situation and post a billion articles on that situation, I should say there is always one exception to the rule. But let me say, this should have to be stated.
234 - Elvira Black
Zedd 225:
OK, now we're really getting somewhere.
I have to relay a little story here that I think I included in a comment that got sucked into cyberspace before it could appear here.
I have been embroiled in the process of selling my old coop and buying another. My ex-boyfriend/current roomate has been looking for new places as well.
Unfortunately, as a result I've been exposed to a lot of crooked greedy real estate agents, mortgage brokers, and lawyers along the way--some of whom were Jewish.
S, the managing agent handling the purchase of my coop is from Nigeria, and has lived here for a decade or more. Not only is he the consummate professional, but is also what Ruvy might call a "mensch"--a "person" rather than a money grubbing greed fueled human machine.
He had a pool of mortgage brokers and real estate lawyers he worked with on a regular basis. He recommended two to me, and since one had a name I couldn't even pronounce, I went instead with my "homie," one Barry Cohen.
This was a huge mistake. This guy was negligent, arrogant, lazy, and did everything in his power to slow the contractual process down. For some unknown reason, he seemed to take great glee in telling me that S would not be able to get me a meeting with the coop board for an interview in a timely fashion so I could close within the next two weeks.
I finally had enough and asked S to refer me to another guy. This attorney is probably either Nigerian or Haitian, and my only regret is that I let my prejudices delay me from encountering him sooner.
I was frankly afraid that I wouldn't be able to understand his accent, since even S still retained an accent that sometimes made it a bit hard to understand him. But that soon became a non-issue as well, and I can understand him perfectly now.
Another thing about S that illustrates what you were talking about:
Whenever I would meet with S, I would usually have to wait awhile to see him. Say we had a 2 pm appontment--I might not see him til 2;:30 or 3. Why? Because his prior appointment routinely ran over because he wanted to give these folks all the time they needed to answer questions and even have a few laughs.
My initial feeling of mild annoyance and some unfortunate thoughts about "CPT"--also known as "colored people's time"--flashed thorough my mind as I waited in the reception area and heard S and his clients laughing and engaging in animated converstaion behind S's office door.
But the thing is that I was in no real hurry--I'd waited years for this moment, and I knew that when S was done with my fellow would-be buyers, he would then give me the same undividied attention and courtesy he'd afforded them.
Having been exposed in BG's hood to many folks from African and Caribbean cultures, it suddenly occurrred to me that the notion of "CPT" was mostly a plus and not a minus.
American culture is known as the most workaholic in the world, with the typical employee taking a fraction of the vacation time that Europeans do. Everything becomes secondary to the making of money and a desire to be "busy" and "productive" 24/7. In the process, parents and kids sometimes don't even spend an hour of "quality" time together at the dinner table, and their kids lives are often jam packed with ballet lessons, tutoring sessions, and so on with little room for the kids to just chill and have some downtime.
In countries like Spain, by contrast, the whole country shuts down for a siesta. I just heard on the local news that scientists have discovered that taking a nap in the middle of the day can help prevent heart attacks. No doctor or scientist needed to tell the Spaniards and other cultures and countries the infinite wisdom of their more laid back ways.
As a result, I imagine that the typical Spaniard is more happy, more healthy, and more engaged fully in life rather than simply part of a mad rat race in pursuit of the allmighty Eurodollar. Meanwhile, in our country we not only pursue the dollar relentlessly but seemingly can never have enough, and the term "root of all evil" applies quite aptly.
I was telling my new lawyer (we were waiting for S to come in from the other office to answer a question as he was going over the contracts with me) that I couldn't do anything intentionally harmful to others because I would not be able to sleep at night. He thorughly agreed.
But somehow our consumer mad, uber materialistic, still Protestant work ethic driven culture has turned a good percentage of us into something less than human--and it makes me angry and sad.
When I lived on the Upper East side of Manhattan years ago amonst other young white people, the only neighbor I ever spoke a word to was our next door neighbor. Anyone else I passed on the stairs would look at me like I was about to mug them.
By contrast, the coop development I will live in is a model of sound management and humane planning. It is multicultural, but so far i think the majority of residents are middle class blacks and some elderly. The development provides its elderly with many services, including movie and game nights. Each building (there are about 9) has its own house committee, and residents meet monthly with them to go over concerns and problems.
There is a plaque on their office wall which was presented to them long ago, signed by an African American congressman who lives there. It heralded their achievements as a shining example of what a coop can really be--a haven for folks of all ethnic persuasions and ages to live affordably and be treated with care and respect.
Everyone I've encountered in my waits for S in the reception area has been positive. Everyone says hello, and if a tenant comes to the management office to drop off their maintenace, they feel free to ask questions and, as with S, may get to chatting and joking with the receptionist for a spell as well.
I have never been so psyched to live anywhere in my life than in this Bronx coop. Most of my fellow white New Yorkers who fear living in predominanty "brown" neighborhoods don't realize that they are missing out on a beautiful, affordable way of life. Their loss, my gain.
235 - Elvira Black
Zedd:
You said:
"I don't even understand what you mean by that statement. It almost sounds as if you are saying "blackness" is detremental to Blacks and others. I will assume that you didn't mean that because that would be strange. It would be more strange for you to expect me (a Black woman) to agree with you. I don't even know what you mean by "blackness". Please teach me."
Zedd, if you've been reading my latest comments it should be clear to you that what I mean is that if "blackness" means persisting in self-destructive behavior patterns that are only a detriment to yourself, it seems foolish to me.
No one is saying one must be "white" to succeed--rather, one must be "Ameican" and assimilate into the culture as such, no matter what race or country of origin you or your ancestors came from.
Moreover, I love the fact that in NYC I am exposed to the unique characteristics of cultures from around the globe. I can enjoy their cuisines, appreciate their unique ways of thinking and doing and being. Nothing would be more boring for me than to live, for example, in BG's parent's neck of the woods out in the midwest, where everyone is so pure white it is startling. They all look like aliens to me, and when I see a midwestern family of tourists in NYC I look on them as kind of odd because I'm so used to seeing so many hues here. They look positively inbred!
Again, Zedd, I'm not trying to "win" here. Can't you see that?
This can be a win win situation for all if we can get our preconceptions straightened out and move on together for the common good--not as a white person trying to tell you how to think or feel, but as an American who cherishes the notion that all people can come here and have wonderful opportunities. Why should immigrants come here and succeed while African American youths are left in the dust? That is precisely what white racists would love to see.
BG was in the gym one day and a group of kids were using the N word. An older black man turned to them and told them that that word was what the white man wanted them to use. Indeed, by loudly over-utilizing this word, even as a form of camraderie, rather than being a bit more discreet about it, unfortunate prejudices can be further harbored by others.
The other day BG again encountered some kids, this time Latino, who were bandying around the "N" word loudly and boisterously. An Indian woman (not a recent immigrant, for she was dressed in Western clothes) and her family were sitting next to the kids. She turned and gave them an amazed and doubtless disapproving look. I'm fairly certain she felt that as someone of color trying to live her life and provide for her family, the last thing she needed was other folks of color making fools of themselves for all to see.
Yet again, I cannot stress enough how strongly I despise fellow jews who live up to the horrid stereotypes others still harbor against all jews. I love my aunt A dearly, but her views are completely outmoded. She has chosen to live in a Jewish ghetto her entire 89 years, and as such in some ways might as well be living in an Eastern European ghetto circa and pre-1939. She is as "Jewish" as they come, and so unassimilated that my aunt F and she sometimes have horrible fights, one of which I've mentioned in a prior comment.
I've known Ruvy via BC for over a year, and I've read enough of his articles and comments to truly get where he is coming from. Much more so than I think Christopher does, who is the first to admit that he has a strong anti-religious bias. That, IMO, is his flavor of bigotry. Although fundamentalist sects do abomidable things, it's not fair to lump them all together with the likes of Ruvy, at least in my opinion. Like me, Ruvy is compassionate and kind, but considering that his life and the life of his family and the security of his homeland is at stake, I can't blame him for his views. And he is far from an arab hater--he merely hates the corrupt, cynical, power hungry, medieval, anti-Western and Jew hating ways of some of the Arab ruling elite. Same as we may hate Bush but not all Americans by extension. Capiche?
236 - Zedd
I like your story about the older gentleman and the Indian woman.
I was at Barnes and Nobles a few weeks back. I love taking a break there. They have enormous plushy wing back chairs where I sip on my cappuccino and read. On this occasion about 9 young teens all White and one multiracial came in and started talking loudly. Everyone in the sitting area kept trying to give "the look" but they were early teens and off course needed to be seen. Being my father's daughter, I said "excuse me kids, I know you are having fun but you need to keep your voices down. People come hear for the quite. If you want to hang out and be loud why not go to xyz". They continued to act up. I gave the mixed kid the "I know you are not acting a fool" look (he seemed to be the leader), which he seemed to understand, he then told the guys to chill and the suburban pack left.
Kids are kids. We all raise the children in society. I am sure that those kids will think twice when encountering a situation like that before they act up again. They have learned a little about social behavior.
Black kids are no different.
As for the Indian woman, I would hope she wasn't giving "the look" because they were kids of color making a fool of themselves. I would hope that she was giving "the look" because they were kids who were acting up who needed an adult to give them guidance.
I saw two kids at the drug store near my mom's place during school hours, last week. I greeted them then asked them why they weren't in school. They told me that they were out on Presidents day. It seems they attend a private school.... They were sweet and had a lot of "yes ma'ams".
But the point is, we take care of children as a society.
----
I am not sure about the notion that we as Americans are the most workaholic. I think we are probably the most commerce committed. In other places, while they may get off right at 5:00, the wife will more likely cook everything from scratch. They walk to the store and not necessary a block away. They wont spend the evening sitting in front of the tube for hours on end (although that is changing). They may stop by a relatives house and run errands for them before they get home... Things like that. That is why when immigrants get here, they are rearing to go because they don't live sedentary lives like we do.
NOTE: Nigerian time is worse than any CPT.
237 - Zedd
I'm sort of torn about wanting people to say what they feel about other groups.
In one way because most of the time their views sound really crazy when they are expressed, it makes THEM look bad and my contribute to stamping out those types of views.
My other way of thinking is that it is rubbish. They are dirtying the air ways (per se). We have enough ugliness. They will learn with time that their views are wrong as they engage with people.
However, there is truth to most stereotypes. The problem is some groups get to issue or proclaim OTHER people's stereotypes louder, with more frequency than other groups. If I KNOW that Africans or AAs are known for lateness, I am going to try not to be late. If I don't know that, I will continue to be tardy.
I think that most Whites (not Jews however, they have been stereotyped thoroughly) but Whites in general, don't know what people think of them as a culture ("race"). Many behave as if they think they are the standard. I think that most Whites are quite naive about the way the world sees them because they are accustomed to telling everyone who THEY are and how things are SUPPOSED to be. While its gotten better, Whites don't imagine, it doesn't seem, that they are being perceived and opinions are being formed about them, all of the time. There are a few cultures which believe NEVER trust a White man. While people will smile and accommodate, that feeling remains. Understand this is not a attitude is not one on hate it is a caution based on a survival instinct. Part of that comes from those cultures being misinterpreted and feeling wronged over and over again by people who enter their community than misrepresent them. Another reason off course comes from the history of crimes against those cultures.
--------------
NOW
If we approach each other knowing that we are not considered good, better, smarter, more pure or capable, or the opposite, we will do EACH OTHER more good and WE will be happier.
Our entire society will grow and we will give others a benefit of a doubt. EVERYONE will be gauged on merit. There will be no need for quotas because we will truly be a fair society.
However I sense, and I could be very wrong, that for some people this is a scary notion. The big jet black guy may be CEO instead of a bouncer and the Ken doll guy may be an unloader at the dock for life. The brown man may be a judge instead of a dishwasher and the blond boob girl may just remain in her trailer. When the day comes when true merit is measured and real rewards are gained for ability, our world will be different.
238 - Zedd
Should read:
Understand this is not an attitude or feeling of hatered it is a caution based on a survival instinct.
----
I do preview but I will continue to make typos... sometimes they are so bad that I have to go back and redo. Sorry folks. The kids call me, I get distracted, forget the tense, or punctuation or just get thrown off..... again apologies.
239 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
One small note re comment #235: it's "capisce?" - not "capiche?" The latter is French orthography and comes out as "kapíke" in Italian.
You get to learn these things when your neighbors and best friends are Napolitani, they feed you pasta è fagiole, teach you how to draw, fascinate you with sketches of cars from the 1930's, photos of motorcycles with sidecars in the roundabouts of postwar Napoli, and tales of fighting in Mussolini's army in Ethiopia so many faded decades ago...
Shavua Tov,
Reuven
240 - Elvira Black
Christopher:
Thanks to you or whomever turned off the ital (stop the ital, I want to get off!) I've got a story for you.
This morning, I came out of BG's bulding and stood for a minute as I like to do, looking at the buildings up and down the Grand Concourse in the morning sun.
From the left about a half block away I saw a white man and woman. The woman was carrying a big sign that read:
You can't go to Heaven unless you're a Catholic.
They walked by and the guy tried to hand me lliterature. I gave him an empatic no...thank...you. As he passed on, he said over his shoulder: "You're going to hell!"
I promptly shouted back: "I don't want to go to your heaven!"
There. That'll fix 'em.
Their karma is so low that there's surely a special secret circle of Dante's inferno reserved just for those two.
How'd I do?
241 - sr
Elvira, just think of all the beads you can wear as a Catholic and all the petifiles dressed as men in black you can meet. Speaking of meat thats out of the question on Fridays ya know. Maybe even an autographed picture of the Pope to put on your wall. For me I like my Capt Morgan with a little ice and a bit of holy water. After that it's time for a smoke, say a few hail marrys and fondle my rosary beads. Life is grand.
242 - sr
Elvira, ever had a Jehovah's Witness come knocking. That is for me intertainment depending on my Capt Morgan and holy water consumption. Pleasent day to you. By
243 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
If ever a Jehovah's Witness comes a knocking, offer them a cup of coffee and invite them to sit down and discuss their ideas. Make sure you have the coffee cup in hand. Chances are they take a fast hike! Coffee is the devil's drink... so they say, anyway.
244 - Elvira Black
sr:
Thanks for the laugh! Speaking of which, BG's brother once told him that some of his paintings made him want to crawl into the closet and say the rosary...that's about the gist of BG's art.
Ruvy: You want it, you got it...we got yer Jehovah's Witnesses, your Mormon youth (so white they actually look more like, though this is terrible to say, Hitler Youth), your radical Catholics like those two, plus a smattering of mostly Spanish speaking Catholics (I presume) who have apparently only just arrived here themselves but are intent on saving the local souls one apartment at a time (they like to come callling during the week and on Saturdays especially).
For the latter, a simple "no hablos Espanol" (Christopher? I'm sure I murdered that phrase) or no thank you will suffice. The Jehovah's witnessess seem to mainly stand unobtrusively to the side and offer you literature, if even that.
There's a Mormon church down the block, and one often sees very pale white young men in pairs wearing suits or white shirts, slacks and ties with bakcpacks scurrying around. We assume they're in training for the ministry, but rarely see them inttervene with anyone, though they did once with me.
As for the Jehovalh's witnesses--ok, coffee's out. But what do they generally prefer instead: a cocktail or a nice cold beer?
245 - Elvira Black
Zedd:
Great comments, but first, you said:
"NOTE: Nigerian time is worse than any CPT."
It took me long enought to screw up the courage to ask S where he was originally from (why? did I think he'd take offense or something that i didn't think he was born here what with that accent and all?) But I am now curious about Nigerian culture. Anything you can tell me? Not that I'd presume you knew, but since you said something about the CPT thing, I thought I'd ask.
I don't even know what their govt is like. BG vaguely thought they had a sort of "democratic" but corrupt government that was very bribeable. But again, I haven't a clue. Guess one trip to Wikipedia would set me straight.
Aside from that, his lawyer colleague may be Nigerian but maybe Haitian or from some other former French colony. His accent was much much less pronounced and as I say he reminded me for all the world of a young Sidney Poitier.
I get the feeling they're both religious in some quiet way. S has two cell phones, one for his personal calls and one for his office, and the latter always plays "When the Saints come marching in." I joked with the receptionist that I already knew he was there because I heard his cell phone before I even saw him.
The poor guy is sometimes juggling both cells at once. I went from zero to three in the past two weeks--gave one to BG and one to G (my ex boyfriend/roomate) but BG is 21st century phobic so I wind up using his as well as mine. Since the batteries tend to run out of juice quickly, I also carry both in my purse. I pondered asking S if we could put together some sort of cell phone juggling act. Maybe we could also attempt to answer simultaneously ringing phones in mid air.
Note to Christopher:
Rather than religion being evil per se as you seem to believe (if not, please pipe up and say something--anything!), if practiced without the need to try to terrorize everyone around you to convert, it can actually be a good thing. A bit of the old ten commandments and all that--a handy reminder to people not to become one of the money grubbing androids out there with no heart and soul. Furthermore, it can keep one aware that one is first and foremost a full fledged member of the human race (aka a child of G-d) and are therefore officially forbidden to cheat, steal, murder, etc. in the name of the "almighty" dollar. Doesn't always take, but hey, it's worth a shot.
I have commented on the new BC forums to the effect that none of the politics editors seem to be on board thus far, and Christopher seems to be MIA from there as well as here, save for a few cuts and slashes and maybe a little font adjustment and admonishment about watching the comment tagging. What gives? Is there some sort of week-long editor's holiday I should know about?
Yeah, yeah, busy, swamped, new projects,etc etc. You never call, you never write...that's ok, don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark (a little Jewish mother nagging schtick for you there, folks, in case you couldn't tell).
There is, moreover, a qualitative difference between Jewish and Catholic guilt. With Jewish guilt, your mom will make you feel like a heartless cad if you don't call or visit enough. With Catholic guilt, your mom or dad will sit you on your knee and tell you that if you misbehave or think about sex, ever, you will burn in an everlasting lake of hellfire. No wonder BG still has trouble falling asleep at 50-plus years old...
Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: That's ok, don't worry about me, I'll just sit here in the dark...
246 - Elvira Black
Zedd 236 and 237:
You've opened my eyes here just as Heloise did. Yes, I think you're right about whites--after all, we're the predominant culture and thus the "industry standard," so to speak.
But Jews also feel some of this because this is a predominantly Christian nation. Hanukkah is a relatively minor holiday that has been expanded into a pseudo-Christmas, since kids do get little gifts or candy or toys during that week as well.
But we're talking, like, a few pairs of socks, maybe a dreidel, a chocolate gold coin, a couple of bucks, and so on--or at least that was true in the good old days (Ruvy? Am I wrong?) Now of course it's just a clone of Christmas for many folks.
There was a big brouhaha a year or two ago over whether to wish people "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays." But that's a whole nother thread.
Yes, you're quite right. Kids are kids no matter what race etc. I read NY Magazine a lot--have for years--and every once in awhile they have an article about mainly white rich kids who go to private school on the Upper East Side (a la Robert Chambers and Jennifer Levin) and are so far "ahead" in terms of the latest trends in delinquent behavior that the mind boggles.
Street drugs are mostly out, in favor of scripts stolen from their parents or swapped with kids at school (Ritalin, etc). Sex parties, of course. All right under the nose of their oblivious, wealthy parents who have provided them with the "best" of everything. They are so jaded at 16 that one has to wonder what is left for them to experience after that.
Most of the hippies of the 60s were from middle class homes, and they couldn't wait to get away from that bourgeois prison. Again, they had the best of everything--college educations, freedom, and all the rest--but they loved nothing better than to wear faded jeans, eschew bourgeois society, and so on. Now most of them have children if not grandchildren and are headed for retirement. Funny, no?
Here's a scenario for you: a new blogpal of mine who is also a Jewish New Yorker of A Certain Age has lived in Manhattan for a very long time. Rich Jewish parents; the best of everything; trips abroad in high school; set up in her own Manhattan place (and no fifth floor walkup, either) from day one, etc.
She trained as a social worker and worked for awhile in BG's Bronx hood. Said she loved the neighborhood and the people, but what troubled me is this:
Her job entailed determining benefits for mothers with kids. She had issues with the fact that she was a single, childless woman, since she felt that others thought she was inadequate somehow without a husband and children.
She actually pretended to have a child so that her clients wouldn't look down on her.
I said that I thought that was very misguided. Though you may think I'm wrong, I have a huge prob with broken homes whether through divorce or one-parent families with no husband.
The reason for this is that when a young woman has a child or children out fo wedlock and can hardly support herself let alone her kids, the chances that her kids will succeed seem to be much less certain.
This cuts across all races--BG's brother has a stepdaugher who had a child out of wedlock. She is about 30 years old, sponges off BG's brother and has for years. She has been going for her bachelors for about 10 years--dropping out, re-enrolling, changing majors, and so on. Meanwhile BG's bro has his wallet open and his checkbook at her disposal every time her current drug addict boyfriend needs to be bailed out of jail, etc. He cosigned all her student loans, which she had no intention of paying back, and finally paid them all off when he got some inheritance money from his folks. But he was too intimidated to tell her that's where the money came from, thus enabling her sociopathy to continue unabated.
Long story short, BG's bro and her wife are part time caretakers for this woman's son while she parties away. She gets free housing because of her low income and (as she put it to BG) because of "him"--i.e., her five year old son. A more cynical and sociopathic young woman as I'd ever hope not to meet.
Anyway, I told the ex-social worker that I thought this was misguided--firstly, why feel apologetic for being single and childless? Secondly, when I see how many children are abused or even murdered by boyfriends and "stepdads" of these kids, it infuriates me.
As far as white guilt goes, this woman was doing so many contortions she must have been double jointed.
Meanwhile, she's complaining how expensive and crowded Manhattan is becoming, and how she loves NYC but feels like she has to move-perhaps to California.
I half-jokingly suggested the Bronx, but she nixed that idea--she'd lived in Riverdale for a few years and hated every minute of it. Very Jappy up there, apparently.
But I can't help but wonder why she wouldn't even consider it. In one fell swoop she'd have loads of money from the sale of her Manhattan place and could buy a huge, beautiful Bronx coop for a song. Her maintenance would be low, her cost of living would plummet, and she'd be in a neighborhood not yet overrun with tourists and congestion and construction.
So what could be holding her back? Could it be an elitism about Manhattan, and perhaps not being willing to leave her white comfort zone? it's one thing, as you infer, to "help" "those people"--quite another, I suppose to live amongst them not as a helper but as a peer and neighbor.
What say you? Am I wrong? is she? Are we both?
247 - MAOZ
Elvira #244, no need to worry about murdering a Spanish phrase when telling people you don't speak Spanish -- in fact, if you do "murder" it, it'll just add confirmation to your claim, right?
248 - Nancy
Elvira #208: I was taught there are some rules of thumb about when to tell white lies, to whit: when someone has done something to look weird/awful - but they can't do anything about it (like having a big nose, or because it's already happened, like having TP stuck to your shoe), you tell the LWL & assure them it's OK. If something CAN be done - the dress is too tight, the hair is awful - you can say judiciously something to the effect of, "well, personally I prefer your hair long & curly, so I don't really care for that style on you (to Brittany Spears, for example). I think it's too extreme to reflect the YOU that I know," or something else that tells them truthfully that they don't look good &/or you can't/don't approve, but at the same time makes it a matter of individual taste. If you're VERY close to someone, you can go a bit further & say, "I don't think you should have done that. It's just too extreme & people will stare. Let me help you find a good wig until it grows out." My REAL friends will tell me the truth, brutally if they must, in order to keep me from looking like a fool in public - & offer to help me fix it if necessary. On the other hand, there's no point in saying, 'gee, that's a great dress, but you really need a nose job'. I can't exactly run right out that second & get a nose job, can I? Besides, I'm very aware already of my nose (or weight, or what-have-you), in all probability.
There are all kinds of ways to tell the truth but not get nasty about it. Like when I called someone here at BC who is very argumentative "feisty" originally. Eventually I had to go to stronger terms, but as a first approach it was a good one, since it let them know (if they were going to pick up on it) that they were argumentative (without my being nasty about it & saying "boy are you a quarrelsome jerk"). See?
With unwanted or stupid gifts, you can always say something like, "Oh, this will be SO useful-!"; you just don't mention it will be useful in the landfill, altho if they're very close, you can wrap it up & re-gift it to them next year, & say, "as soon as I saw this I knew you wanted it back; this really is a classic 'mathom'" (mathom = gift that keeps getting passed around year after year because nobody wants it. Like a good fruitcake.).
249 - Nancy
Elvira/Zedd/all: I'm glad to see you 2 talking. People can disagree with you - even vociferously - & not be your enemy. I get along with Arch, even when he tells me I'm a liberal loonie, etc. because he's civil most of the time, when I'm not calling him a political neanderthal. I always figure there are just some things about our lives that other people won't be able to connect with, no matter how willing they be or how hard they try; and there are things that I know I have taken far more deeply than they deserve, so maybe their comments about 'get over it' are on target - or not. But it shouldn't be a capital offense to me. If nothing else, I've read some very excellent POV explanations by each of you as to why/how you view things as a Jew/black that I would never have thought of or realized loom large in the minds of Jews or AAs, so this was/is a good thing, for all of us reading your exchanges.
250 - Zedd
#246
I think that what matters most in society is issuing kindness. Your friend doesn't understand the society that she is working in because it is completely new to her but I am more impressed with her effort to make other people comfortable. We don't do enough of that. I would rather her do what she is doing than for her to lecture about something that she has no knowledge about.
People will tell that she is a novice and will love her for just wanting to express kindness and display humanity.
I am disheartened by the numbers of unwed parents in the AA community. Again, we do what we know.
I attribute the success and the cohesion of the Jewish people to the thousands of years of Jewish traditions which promote the culture and virtues. Even non religious Jews benefit from the existence of that tradition because there is a subconscious understanding of an expectation for a Jewish person.
Again there is a reason why were don't buy and sell people, strip them of an opportunity to create a society, strip them of an opportunity to wed, etc. That damage will not be fixed in a 100 yrs.
However the situation, it has to be repaired. That is what thousands of people like myself are focused on.
With the people in my circle, that scenario is non extant. The thousands of people in my church for instance are married couples who are doctors, University instructors, attorneys, entrepreneurs, VPs and other professionals. That is very different from what goes on in the urban setting.
------
On the religious people that you encountered, I would have smiled and said no thank you and felt sorry for them. They are either imbalanced or brain washed. I'm not Catholic but I don't think that Catholics proselytize like that. That was just odd.
251 - Heloise
Elvira,
I planned to get back sooner. I got distracted with doing grades, and Condi Rice's latest antics made me write an article that took another day to put together. Besides, I thought this tread was endless...:)
Anyway, I was reading your post on bc forums. What is the forum that was started about "shut the f up? I couldn't find it?
The boyfriend thing: Yes, true, I've had 5 Jewish boyfriends of varying degrees of intensity. The reason I said white in the other post is because my latest, love of my life guy, was white and not Jewish. The Jewish guys were quite a while back. Sorry for the confusion. But they were bonifide Jews...okay? LOL.
In fact I think I have done something no one else has done: dated a Jew and a Palestinean back-to-back.
They didn't know about each other. But the Jewish law student came first. And after we broke up, he drank too much, he started stalking me and making obscene calls. I knew it was him.
Anyway, I dated the Palestinian polisci student. But had to let him go for the same reason that I had to ditch the Malaysian engineering student: They all drank too much for me. I can't deal with men who drink. It ruins your sex life. Anyway, I'll talk to you on the bc forums too.
Heloise
252 - Elvira Black
Hey all:
I've been offline for a few days because we're getting ready to close on our old apt--today at noon! But did want to thank you for your comments since then.
I'll write more later (have to get ready to go into the city and get myself a nice big check!) but very briefly:
Nancy, Zedd, Heloise et al:
Thanks for the terrific comments--I agree with all of what you've said. Heloise, if you've dated Jewish men, it would only follow that you're not exactly anti-Semitic. Sorry about the stalking thing--what a drag.
Re: the BC forum: in short, I made an ass of myself and have posted an apology to the Yahoo writer's e-group and the forum itself.
Zedd: Yes, it's a bit odd for most Catholics to be that way, but there are some fundamentalists (including the ones that bomb abortion clinics) who are pretty radical.
My blogpal is definitely well meaning, but again, I think there may be a disconnect between "helping" people in need and actually contemplating living amongst them, but I am probably way wrong, since she told me over and over how much she loved the hood and the cool people, including teens, that she encountered there.
I have a bad habit of seeing "perfect" solutions to other people's problems, and if they express their frustration I'm likely to offer some advice or feedback. I know what her 'hood is like, and it is now, even more than before, an enclave of the privileged classes. She adores NYC, but Manhattan is turning into an unlivable zone even for those who can still afford it, and since they're raising her coop maintenance by about 50 percent, she needs to find some financial solutions quickly. She does love the diversity of NYC and may try California, but it's not exactly dirt cheap there either. But she figures she can find something less expensive than NYC there.
My only observation was that she seemed genuinely torn by her love for the city and the need/desire to get out from under. To me, of course, the solution seemed "clear"--but again I only mentioned it in passing jokingly once or twice.
I still do believer that many young whites do have some trepidation about moving into a largely minority neighborhood, partly out of fear and partly because the urban amenities do not match their lifestyle. But as the services continue to improve and the rents begin to rise, there will likely be more of an influx of these folks. I only hope that the many working class/poor people who call this home don't get pushed out in the process, and that the cost of living doesn't rise too radically.
Nancy: Yes, it is quite a relief when you're close enough to someone to cut through the bull and say what needs saying. BG and I bicker like an old married couple, and I'm grateful we do rather than hide resentments from each other that can then build up and fester and eventually produce an explosion. Better to have the minor skirmishes as they occur than the total nuke meltdown later.
Again, many thanks again for the comments! TTFN--Elvira
253 - Nancy
You're moving - ! No wonder you were feeling peevishly for awhile there. That's enough to make anybody go postal, IMO. I last moved 10 years ago, & I STILL have cartons I haven't unpacked yet. So...where/what part of NYC are you moving to? My definition of a good friend is someone who will tell you honestly that those pants make you look fat - before you hit the streets & everybody in public wonders whether you bothered to look in a mirror when you put the things on.
254 - alessandro Nicolo
Wo, wo. Slow down! You mean, Catholics don't have the inside track to heaven? Man, I gotta rethink things here. As for wanting to know what stereotypes white people have and think of each other just read soccer threads. It's amazing what aggrieved soccer fans will come up with. Most of it pathetic of course.
255 - Heloise
NYC passed symbolic law that N word should be banned.
I forgot Elvira stated early on that she was moving. Yes, Nancy I have been in my house nearly ten years. And guess what? Only this past summer did I clear out the attic and finally put things where they belong. I can't believe it took me so long. But I also had to renovate garage before I had the space. That took me like five years of living here first.
But anyway, E, just remember don't rush stuff when you move. It does take time and in a new community. I feel for you. I found that it takes no less than 5 years to settle into a community after moving.
I've been in Texas going on 11 years.
Heloise
256 - Clavos
Elvira writes:
She adores NYC, but Manhattan is turning into an unlivable zone even for those who can still afford it, and since they're raising her coop maintenance by about 50 percent, she needs to find some financial solutions quickly. She does love the diversity of NYC and may try California, but it's not exactly dirt cheap there either. But she figures she can find something less expensive than NYC there.
Tell her to take a look at Miami.
It's not cheap, but still beats NYC and CA, and in terms of diversity, growth, and opportunity it's a lot like NYC must have been at the beginning of the twentieth century immigration explosion, but with all the mod cons.
Lots of work, too.
257 - Elvira Black
Hi again:
Somehow I missed these new comments--either I didn't get notification on the e-group, or whatever...but it was a pleasant surprise nonetheless.
I'm moving from the Lower East Side of Manhattan to the Northwest Bronx. If you walk about two blocks, you hit the river and the bridge into upper Manhattan. It's near the Bronx Zoo, the NY Botanical Gardens, and Fordham University.
I know the 'hood well since BG has lived here for almost 9 years. He's another Manhattan transplant.
The move itself is not a prob--rather, it's having to deal with real estate "professionals" that has driven me batshit insane. My ex-boyfriend (we co-owned the Manhattan place) is now looking for a new place, and in the process of trying to help him out I've had several encounters with shady lawyers, brokers, mortgage companies, etc.--many with their greedy grubbing hands out but as unscrupulous and/or incompetent as the day is long.
Rather than just cry about it, I wrote a few pieces--one of them also on BC--as part of a series called "Adventures in Real Estate." So far I've exposed one of these brokers, complete with name and links, and though it will probably change nothing, it did feel good to "out" her.
I have a new blog as well devoted exclusively to NYC, and I have plenty of material to draw upon. I find myself being drawn more into the economic/political aspect of real estate--esp since my new area is (in my opinion) destined to continue to develop. As it does, the poor/working poor who call this home may find themselves booted out unless careful measures are taken from the start. There is an organization right down the road that is tackling this imminent problem, and I've been invited to attend a "shrinking affordability" forum at Fordham University later this month. I plan to write about these issues, as well as many others here and on my NYC blog.
I'm starting virtually from scratch--I shitcanned all the old boxes I'd carried from place to place for the past 30-odd years. I've been shopping online for furniture, housewares, etc;; I have a painter lined up; and as soon as I know my closing date I can plan to have the place all furnished and set up in record time.
There was a time, many moons ago, when a person of modest means (or even less) could have a wide choice of apts in Manhattan that were affordable and even spacious. Those days are long, long gone. But to me, the Bronx is like deja vu--it is astounding what you can get here, dirt cheap, but even here prices have doubled in the past 5-7 years.
Meanwhile, all the old developments in Manhattan and Brooklyn that were set up for the working/middle classes are being eliminated--including the place we just sold, which we bought for 8 grand in '91--with no mortgage and dirt cheap maintenance. The buyer of our Manhattan place looks to be all of 20 years old, and doesn't strike me as a hotshot Wall Street broker, so I'd guess that mommy and daddy are buying her way in. Lord knows I could never afford to buy my own place back for 450K! Yes, folks, 450K for an 800 square foot coop. And that's a bargain in Manhattan--one beds elsewhere can go for about 650K and way up--and the maintenance is about 450 (many Manhattan places can run into the thousands). When you hit two beds, you're talking a mill, minimum. But despite the recent housing downturn in the US, Manhattan prices are still going strong. People will do anything and pay anything just to live on this little island.
So when I express puzzlement over my friend, it's because of this very real elitism that still exists about the "idea" of Manhattan. It is still seen as the grand prize--the place where everything is happening, and to live outside its epicenter was until recently to be somehow lacking. But as my friend can attest to, the cost of living is insane, it's getting more and more overcrowded, it's losing much of its old, essential character, and it's becoming a ghetto for the very rich.
It broke my heart to leave, but I've had plenty of time to get used to the idea--it's taken 9 years to get this process going, since my ex-boyfriend/roomate didn't want to give up the place for love or money.
In any case, I talk plenty about this stuff elsewhere--including my New York Stories series here on BC.
Clavos--I seem to remember an article you? wrote where lots of people said there was a lot of crime and other probs going on in Miami. Yes, it's diverse, but maybe too "diverse" for my friend's liking, if you get my drift...
Allesandro--both my current and ex-boyfriends were good Catholic altar boys back in the day. BG's mom is super religious and she and her husband even joined a cult a long time ago, until the Church declared it to be a schism and announced that those who did not leave its ranks would be excommunicated.
Though there is a lot of beauty and magic in the Catholic rituals and beliefs, I have seen with my own eyes what havoc it can wreak on innocent children who are told that if they misbehave they will burn in an everlasting lake of hellfire, etc. Most Catholics live and let live, but of course there are always those crackpots who presume to know what is best for the entire world. BG's mom sends him religious letters and literature, and has her own very odd views, but she's also surpisingly well read and a real sweetheart most of the time. And she likes Jews--lucky for me. One time she thanked me for being such a good friend to BG--and for giving her "our Lord" to boot. Ah, wasn't nothing...glad I could be of help.
Nancy--I agree with you--a friend in need of a reality check is a friend indeed. Unfortunately, BG is in the habit of trying to buy me jeans from the Bronx bargain racks. He can wear anything and it looks great on him--I cannot. He tried to get me to wear some pants he bought me that made me look like Farmer Jones, and doesn't seem to think that I should go for the women's jeans at all. Not a big help.
Anyway, back to the "n' word--as Heloise alluded to, there have been some new developments which I may write about as a "part 2."
258 - izzy
i think the "N" word should be abolished because that small word is bringing this generation back in to slavery
259 - Elvira Black
Izzy:
That may just sum it all up, in a way...but it depends on how you look at it, I guess.
BTW: Part 2 can be found here:
260 - sir david stephens,jr.
The n-word shouldn't be banned,but the action of being treated as such should.As Blacks,we are demeaned through social injustice,yet tell ourselves that this is okay,but when we or anyone says nigger,that this somehow is wrong.No word has ever carried power unless you believed in it,however,all physical actions do and to be treated without having any value is far greater than being told that you have no value,because that alone is what becomes a hinderance to our progression and should be our focus combatting. Every person is entitled to love,like,dislike or hate his neighbor,but when those feelings turns into actions that limits or binds me,then do we have a problem,also stop apologizing for the wrongs done unto you,you're the victim,you have nothing to apologize for,furthermore,stop asking to be apart of what someone doesn't want you to be apart of.Blacks care more about the love, approval and acceptance of whites for our needs and concerns,we don't care about ourselves.When we learn to build,develop and implement the needed actions to move our community forward,you won't give the n-word or anything else a second thought,for example,are we building a new King memorial,because we love him so or is it to keep us a marred in backwardness and debt.He doesn't need that,but need to instill his values in us, which is how you demonstrate your appreciation. Do you think a man that fought so hard to assure we become efficient would allow us to spend our monies in a non-productive fashion,money that could have gone to improving schools and education,business development,new hospitals or healthcare to those without,agricultural needs and groceries,these are what Black people should be working towards,not some pointless,cosmetic and superficial notion of equality,but proven change that we command,no one will ever give a damn about us until we start caring enough about ourselves
261 - Elvira Black
Sir David:
If by any chance you're still out there, I've been offline for a long time and I'm now going thru each of my old pieces to see if any stray comments didn't get a response.
I just wrote a very long comment but it vanished before I could post it. My new computer seems to do that a lot. I still have to figure out its quirks.
So I'll come back later and add some more...a lot has changed since this piece was written, needless to say.
Thanks so much for the feedback, y'all (lol)...