Scenes We’d Like To See

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• 1 - Nancy

  Oct 18, 2005 at 2:47 pm

  Heh-heh-heh. What - only THREE?! You lazy ... get back to work & write up some more ....
  
  Funny. Good work.

• 2 - Nancy

  Oct 18, 2005 at 2:51 pm

  Ooops. I meant FIVE. I was so busy laughing I lost count.

• 3 - The Fifth Dentist

  Oct 18, 2005 at 2:58 pm

  Thanks. I am bracing for the inevitable negative reviews.

• 4 - Nancy

  Oct 18, 2005 at 3:01 pm

  You're welcome. Now get back to work & do some more.

• 5 - MCH

  Oct 18, 2005 at 3:08 pm

  Great job 5thD...very funny...keep up the good work...and re the negative reviews; look for an attack from Dave "know-it-all" Nalle, dripping with jealousy over another BC writer with more talent than he...

• 6 - The Fifth Dentist

  Oct 18, 2005 at 3:17 pm

  Thanks. You know I like Dave. He's the most impressive version that the dark side could produce. Like Ivan Drago in Rocky 4.

• 7 - Dave Nalle

  Oct 18, 2005 at 3:48 pm

  Thanks, I think. Worse things than being compared to Ivan Drago.
  
  While your scenarios are mildly amusing, they don't stand the test of logic. For them to be truly funny they'd need to be ironic rather than just farcical, and they can't be ironic unless they COULD happen. Actually, 1, 2 and 4 meet that test.
  
  The Rove one doesn't work because Rove could never meet the qualifications for a room in Club Gitmo. The Bennett one just doesn't make any sense and requires too much suspension of disbelief. I'm willing to accept the It's a Wonderful Life bit, but not the assumption that Bennett wanted to abort all the black babies going back in time - just doesn't make any sense at all. No logic means no irony and no humor.
  
  Dave

• 8 - The Fifth Dentist

  Oct 18, 2005 at 4:54 pm

  Right on cue Dave.

• 9 - MCH

  Oct 18, 2005 at 5:01 pm

  Exactly, 5thD. What do you expect from the same guy who claims it was HE, and not Al Gore, who invented the internet...?

• 10 - Dave Nalle

  Oct 18, 2005 at 6:35 pm

  No, MCH, I worked for Al Gore at the time that he discovered and facilitated the invention of the internet - I was merely a peon serving in his glorious quest to create the future.
  
  Dave

• 11 - Matthew T. Sussman

  Oct 18, 2005 at 10:08 pm

  Humor's always funnier when it doesn't pick a directional side.
  
  See: The Daily Show.

• 12 - The Fifth Dentist

  Oct 18, 2005 at 10:31 pm

  Unfortunately, the democrats aren't that funny right now. Kerry was a little bit funny due to his stiffness. Clinton was funny due to his unctuousness. But who the fuck are you supposed to make fun of now? Nancy Pelosi? Does anybody even know who she is? You want a Harry Reid joke? The funniest thing that guy has done is have a stroke. No, the Republicans have a lock on the stuff that's worthy of mocking right now.

• 13 - uao

  Oct 18, 2005 at 10:38 pm

  This is a brilliant post, Fifth Dentist. And those are scenes I'd like to see. Nice job.

• 14 - RJ

  Oct 18, 2005 at 10:55 pm

  Pretty funny, 5-D. :)

• 15 - Matthew T. Sussman

  Oct 18, 2005 at 11:23 pm

  There are characters in the Democratic party, but Ted Kennedy is old and busted (I hear he enjoys alcoholic beverages, did anyone else know that?) and Howard Dean had his 15 minutes of FAAAAAAYME!!!!!!!
  
  I've heard Pelosi is nuttier than a Baby Ruth but can pinpoint no instances in my mind. I don't even know what Harry Reid looks like.
  
  Now that I think about it, is every damn donkey an introvert? How's that gonna win elections? C'mon, show us your caricatures!
  
  But I do think Scott McClellan is an easy target who doesn't necessarily deserve it. Former Clinton press sec Mike McCurry had a little sympathy for his fellow White House McC.

• 16 - The Fifth Dentist

  Oct 19, 2005 at 12:01 am

  Thanks for the kind words uao and rj.
  Mathew: The presidential press secretary is the most ludicrous job in the country, bar none. It consists of two functions: 1) don't answer any questions and 2) if forced to answer a question then lie. These functions are aided by the fact that generally nobody tells this guy anything. The real pioneer in this field was Ron Ziegler with his famous "that statement is no longer operative" line. There is also some great video of Nixon kicking Ziegler in the ass. Scott McClellan is a worthy heir to Ziegler's legacy. Though not as gleeful a liar as his mentor Ari Fleischer, he more than makes up for it by refusing to acknowledge when caught red handed (Rove unconnected to Plame outing) and by his hilarious parroting of the republican talking points memo (19 consecutive utterances of "blame game"). So when you say that McClellan isn't deserving of ridicule, it causes a vein in my head to pulse uncontrollably. Please don't say that again or I'm afraid it might burst.

• 17 - Matthew T. Sussman

  Oct 19, 2005 at 12:11 am

  Well did you read the McCurry post I linked to?

• 18 - Dr. Kurt

  Oct 19, 2005 at 12:25 am

  Methinks the 5th tooth mangler has done a fine job!
  Let's see... I am thinking of Hamlet & his father's ghost, W and HW Bush...

• 19 - LegendaryMonkey

  Oct 19, 2005 at 1:49 am

  I'm still trying to figure out how the Daily Show never picks a side. Not always... no one is safe... but they're definitely left-leaning.
  
  That said, I find #2 and #3 utterly hilarious.

• 20 - Matthew T. Sussman

  Oct 19, 2005 at 2:08 am

  LM: "How does the Daily Show never pick a side?"
  
  Think Pepsi Taste Test. They take off the labels and critize the content.

• 21 - Maurice

  Oct 19, 2005 at 11:46 am

  Somewhat funny but it reminds me of all the people that were just drooling to see Clinton go to jail over Whitewater.
  
  None of it is going to happen.

• 22 - LegendaryMonkey

  Oct 19, 2005 at 12:06 pm

  Suss -- I suppose the right is just easier to pick on, then? Or maybe they're the Pepsi.