War is destructive, not only of people and property, but also of common decency. Although wars may arguably be necessary in some unimaginable circumstances, even then they must be made gentler and nicer. The facts are beyond dispute (hence no citations to authority are needed), and to assert positions contrary to those set forth here constitutes a crime against humanity.
Way back when, in Man's more primitive environment, people who fought in wars were paid by the grant of rape and pillage privileges. Prisoners of War (mainly high ranking ones, some of whom actually fought in those days) were held for ransom. Rape and pillage were seen as good things; they reduced the costs of wars borne by those demanding them and, if successful, demoralized the enemy. And, of course, the people raping and pillaging enjoyed those activities and had no immediate need to engage in them closer to home.
These things are no longer done by civilized nations and don't seem to cause much concern amongst the civilized when done by the uncivilized; those raped, pillaged and held for ransom are generally well accustomed to these things and don't seem to mind very much. Had they themselves been able to rape, pillage and hold their opponents for ransom, they would doubtless mind even less.
But perhaps I digress. How can we have nicer wars in circumstances where one or more of the combatant nations or groups is civilized? That is the question. Clearly, some fundamental changes must be made, and perhaps the most important change for which we can hope and in which we can believe is that civilized combatant nations will cease to portray their opponents in ways which dehumanize them.
Even after rape and pillage was no longer accepted, it was still thought appropriate to encourage soldiers to think bad thoughts about combatants on the opposing side(s). Hence, during World War II, the Germans were called bad names — Dirty Hun! — and depicted as doing all manner of evil. Outrageous libels concerning the alleged Holocaust were viciously spread to this end. The Japanese were called "Japs," and ridiculous stories about their allegedly indecent treatment of prisoners of war were rampant. During the Korean Conflict, the peace-loving troops of North Korea — who sought only to provide the indisputable benefits of benign socialism to their misguided brothers to the south — were slanderously referred to as "Gooks*" and said to engage in acts of extreme brutality. The purpose of these terrible lies and distortions was to condition soldiers on our side to view their opponents as less than human and therefore deserving of death. There must be a way to make this travesty stop. Fortunately for humanity, I have given this matter much profound thought, and now offer the following solution:
Article comments
1 - HeddaCabbage
International Nursery Schools with biennial playgroup get-togethers until alumni are old enough for the draft.
2 - Dave Nalle
Modern technology has already addressed this issue. One word - RobotWars!
Dave
3 - Dr Dreadful
Modern war substitutes like organized sports, TV and combative video games have indisputably reduced international aggression.
My country, England, was involved in one war or another almost continuously from the beginning of recorded history up until the beginning of the last century. It was the first recourse in the business of international - and sometimes national - politics. War was quite literally a way of life. Diplomacy was for wimps.
Since then, we only feel the need to get involved in a nice big ruckus with lots of carnage and really neat explosions about every 20 years or so. Things certainly have looked up.
4 - Dan(Miller)
Doc,
With regret, I must advise you that Your Country now only rarely engages in war because She was superseded following, if not during, the Great War. This was conclusively demonstrated by the noted historians Sellar and Yeatman in 1930.
Any wars in which Your Country may thereafter have been involved were aberrational.
Although Organized(?) Sport may to some extent have replaced war temporarily, the murder and mayhem which often erupt during and following team activities suggest a longing for actual war. It is to be hoped that the mounting pressures for actual war will prevail, since war may be necessary to save humanity and, more immediately, to revive the faltering Global Economy. There can be no dispute that this will be a good thing, provided that war is nice. Hence, the article.
Danama
5 - Irene Wagner
Pan(ama) To Bolster World Economy and Siphon Off Innate Aggressive Tendencies. Arena Policy: No restrictions whatsoever on gambling, Purveying of Concessions and Sundry Ancillary Amusements, use of Doc Martens (Oi!) post-event (after all potential collateral damage has a chance to leave the premises first.)
Plaster these gladiators* with economy-stimulating brand-endorsement decals, and send them 'round the world in an Annual Traveling Hyped-Up a l'Olympiques World Tour. (*Dave, thanks for the memories.)
"For the Great Gaels of Ireland Are the men that God made mad..." (Chesterton)
6 - Roger Nowosielski
Finally the supreme intellect had arrived.
7 - Dan(Miller)
Irene,
If your comment was in response to My (Danama) earlier and entirely serious attempt to lead Doc away from his misinformed views and along the path of true righteousness, rather than in response to the silly splutterings of some other miscreant, I simply cannot say in mere words how much I am offended and hurt.
I mean, really! Go thou and sin no more!!
Dan(Miller) aka Danama
8 - Irene Wagner
So we're all waiting for you to say something, Roger!
And Danama, thanks for writing the catalyst for a good old soul-restoring laugh. (Don't you worry about Dr. Dreadful, though.) OK see ya, I'm off to sin no more...
9 - Roger Nowosielski
I can't match your syntax, Irene. For example,
"Plaster these gladiators* with economy-stimulating brand-endorsement decals, and send them 'round the world in an Annual Traveling Hyped-Up a l'Olympiques World Tour. (*Dave, thanks for the memories.)" That's almost a Kantian sentence.
10 - Irene Wagner
I was just playin' widja Roger. But thanks. :) OK really gotta go now and yell at Clavos.
11 - Dan(Miller)
Irene,
Dan(Miller) aka DanamaWhen I said "go thou and sin no more," I did not mean to suggest that you had sinned previously. Should you, or anyone else, have mistaken my meaning, I apologize profusely and sincerely.
I would simply call to the attention of the doubtless many subsequent commenters (if any) the following irrefutable statement in the article:
12 - Irene Wagner
Dan! This weekend, I've been putting off this pesky item on my to-do list and I keep on coming back to BC, and then BACK to BC because--hence my distracted "out loud" promise to myself to "sin no more"--because I think I'd better say something to someone who may have left a comment in response to mine in case they think I've ignored what they've just said to me, and hurt their feelings (it's so very easy to be taken the wrong way on line.) No, absolutely no offense taken, I thought your last--well penultimate-- comment was funny, and maybe the comment after that was meant to be, too. Actually, the penultimate three lines of THAT one were funny even if you didn't mean them to be. *confused as all get-out at this point*
I'm going to go apologize to Clavos for yelling at him, and THEN I'm going to go and sin no more...for a small spell, anyway. ;)
13 - Joanne Huspek
Perhaps instead of war, we should just have the warring parties play Battleship or chess.
Just kidding.