Satire: Voter Fraud in New Hamphshire

The world was stunned yesterday after a recount of the Presidential Primary in New Hampshire. It was revealed that the ACCUVOTE Voting Machine used by many of the states in New England had been hacked. The actual vote tallies after the recount revealed that Barrack Obama had beaten Hillary Clinton by 7 percentage points. It also came as welcome news to the Paulites out there, as Dr. Paul received a total of 35% of the vote placing him in second place behind John McCain who received 36%. It was a stunning achievement for the doctor.

The various pundits in the mainstream media were shocked, and in complete disarray over the news. Fox News Channel, through its chief propagandist Bill O'lielly said that it was a terrorist plot, and that he had never supported democracy anyways. Wolf Blitzer of CNN came out publicly and said that we need to use only hand-counted votes in the future.

The fact that the most powerful nation on earth, and one of the leaders in sending forth teams of experts to other countries to help them vote fairly, had been compromised, came as a shock to people everywhere. However rumors of voter fraud in the past two Presidential elections had been circulating on the internet, and occasionally the mainstream media for years.

This morning President Bush held an emergency Press Conference in the Oval Office.
He said that he was shocked by this development in the Presidential election process.
He immediately ordered the military on red alert, in case the compromise of the American Electoral process had been done by a foreign power. Shortly after the Press Conference, he issued Executive Order 47666 immediately shutting down the election process nationwide as many of these same machines were being used across the country.

He said that in his estimation, and as Commander-In-Chief it was his obligation under law to halt the election until it could be verified that the system was hack-free. The President then went on to say, that in his estimation it would take about 18 months to solve the problem. In the meantime he would continue in office for the good of the nation, and relinquish his office only upon certification of the new Office of Presidential Continuation that he established under another executive order today. He then went on to say this is how a free country reacts in a rational and democratic manner in times of emergency.

Stay tuned for more information.

Article Author: Pablo

I am a 54 year old resident of California. I have been interested in politics and the inner workings of government for many years. I grew up as a liberal democrat. I now think of myself as an independent, with libertarian leanings.

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