Background Note: Karl Rove was adopted by his stepfather Louis Rove at a very early age. There appears to be no public record of the former deputy chief of staff's birth name. Many have speculated on the effect the events of Karl Rove's family life may have had on him. Below is the true story of how he became the man we know today and why he suddenly left the White House.
The Rove Identity
(based on the book by Chance Ludlum)
In the summer of 2007, the man we know as Karl Rove and the President of the United States, “W”, are riding alone together on the capitol subway to the senate office building.
W: But 30% of America still likes me, right?
KR: Yes, Mr. President. Millions of people still support you. They can’t explain why or defend it, but they still like you.
W: And there are lots of people who don’t like Hillary Clinton?
KR: Absolutely.
W: She’s not right for America because she has big thighs and forgave her husband.
KR: Exactly. America will never stand for that in a president. Besides, she has no penis.
W: Really?
KR: No brain and no heart. That’s not a problem. (points at W) But America will never vote for a President with no penis.
W: That’s why I tell people, if America really wants a woman President, they should elect Condi. She even follows football.
KR: TMI Mr. President. TMI.
W: It’s not like I’ve seen it. I just felt it from behind when I asked her to do to me what we were doing to the American people.
KR: Mr. President, some information really does need to be subject to executive privilege.
W: I was thinking the other day that Hillary doesn’t even mountain bike. Could you imagine her trying to dress up in a flight suit and land on an aircraft carrier? She’d probably try to talk about Universal Health Care or something instead of killing terrorists. I just can’t see her being presidential like that. Would she know how to give Angela Merkel a back rub at just the right time?
There’s a tapping sound on the shell of the capitol subway, Karl looks up then slips his glasses into his jacket pocket. Suddenly, a gang of men in ninja suits descend upon KR and W.
Article comments
1 - Janet
Oh!! this is a heart breaking story!
2 - chancelucky
I do feel bad for Karl. It's good that he rose above all this.