Welcome, voters!
It is the great Obama Sale! You are guaranteed to find something for everyone. We believe in pleasing everyone, so come on in!
ARE YOU:
Against NAFTA?
Then you will be happy to know that our candidate has all intentions to end NAFTA if it isn't renegotiated to get you your job back!
For NAFTA?
If you are not in a state like Ohio then rest assured! We're sure that by now you've heard of our (wink-wink) conversation with the Canadians. NAFTA is not going anywhere — so relax!
Against telecom immunity and terrorist surveillance?
Our candidate has said that they shouldn't be given immunity and we need to end warrentless wiretaps. So we will roll back the Bush tactics.
Worried we won't monitor terror communications?
Well our candidate did not show up to vote for the FISA bill so take it easy; we are not really against the FISA bill either! (wink-wink)
Want our troops out?
Our candidate showed amazing judgment by giving a speech in Chicago against the war! He has promised that troops will begin pulling out almost as soon as he takes office. So our troops are coming home and who cares what happens in Iraq after that?
Worried Iraq will fall into chaos or that al Qaeda will take over?
Fear not! We will send our troops back into Iraq if that happens. And who gives a damn that al Qaeda is already there?
To let you in on a secret - we aren't really going to withdraw too much. But we hope you understand that we have to say that to get elected! And we can always hope al Qaeda and the Shiite militants will just go away.
Want an end to partisanship?
Our candidate's whole platform is based on that. He will end the bickering and make everyone come together. Believe us - it's a promise he intends to keep.
Article comments
1 - Propagandist
Nothing hurt Obama more than the NAFTA deal. Now he'll know what a real campaign is where everyone is looking to find faults in you.
2 - REMF
James McDougal just rolled over in his grave.
3 - RJ Elliott
President Barack Hussein Obama would still have troops in Iraq in 2013.
Don't believe me? Check it out.
4 - JustOneMan
More proof that affirmative action doesnt work!!
JOM
5 - Krutic A
The real point I am making here is that Obama, at the end of the day is a hollow box with shiny wrapping. He is willing to say anything to get elected. Whoever he is talking to - he makes promises to them that he cant keep(So does Clinton).
But Obama more so, because he is this great savior of the democrats and now people are starting to see through that.
Hey better late than never.
6 - Jordan Richardson
What? Politicians who say anything they can to get elected? That's never happened before!
7 - Dan
I guess Obama's campaign motto would be: You can fool enough of the people enough of the time.
8 - Anon
Yeah but that has reached its peak. Now we get to watch the downfall. It's going to be fun
9 - Ron
While we're talking about selling things, don't forget Obama Pajamas ... Ojamas!