"President Obama unveiled a $3 trillion-plus budget plan today that he says will halve the federal deficit by the end of his first term." — CNN, February 26, 2009.
Thus begins the change regime. One needs to possess serious oratory skills to get away with using 'trillions in spending' and 'cutting the deficit in half' in one sentence. But then oration and ambition are two attributes this President does not lack.
However, if you are still skeptical and annoyed then this candid White House email is just the thing you need to be convinced.
Dear Citizens,
A lot has been made of our massive spending proposals and how we will incur more debt than ever. These so called critics lack the intellectual vision that the President possesses. Allow us to address some of the more controversial and expensive aspects of the spending proposals.
We must pour billions into education. So what that we do not have a concrete plan to go about it. No Child Left Behind was a concrete plan and you know how the President feels about that. This time it is money first, ideas later. Same goes for healthcare.
The country is in dire need of big infrastructure projects including a rail from Orlando to Vegas. There is no better way to teach people financial discipline than giving them easy access to roller coasters and blackjack. After all it is only $5 billion of Chinese money that doesn't even exist yet!
Going with our general theme of throwing money, billions of dollars in contracts to fund Green initiatives is only natural (or green?). Even though they might fail and most of these contracts might go to Al Gore's pals, it is in the interest of our planet.
The President railed against Bush for expanding domestic spending but now it is necessary. When we do it, it is justified. This time it is for long term prosperity and not some short term gratification.
A few millions here and there on acutely important projects like volcano monitoring, grape genetics and catfish study are a necessity. Surprise volacano eruptions have harmed a large number of grape eating catfish recently.
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
Quite humorous. I'm laughing through my tears.
2 - Political Common Sense
That was FANTASTIC! It is really a sad sad truth. Of course, that's what Satire is all about, isn't it? Thanks for a great read.