Dateline: October, 29th 2020-United ElectronicTextSatelite Information Services
President Nailler announced to an extraordinary session of the United Nations today that the U.S. Air Force and Army, in conjunction with the Israeli, Egyptian, Iraqi, British and Syrian armed forces will completely wipe away all trace of the existence of Israel on a day dubbed “God’s Peace Day”. With the near completion of New Israel within the borders of the United States, the president was quoted as saying, “It’s a damned shame it has to come to this, but when children of a culture are actually raised from birth to believe that their sole purpose in life is the holy and God-sanctioned destruction of Israel… well there’s no way to fight that; as history has shown repeatedly. It’s just something that can’t be unlearned!”
Phase One, which was completed March of 2018, was to militarily secure the entire boundary of Israel, ejecting all non-citizens. This phase also involved the funding of 19 trillion U.S. dollars by unanimous worldwide contribution and drawn from the World Bank as needed for the creation of New Israel. The Israeli Parliament has already transferred their entire military industrial complex to the control of the Pentagon and released their treasury to the U.S. These funds were used to buy out the affected present American land-owners at a “double its value” price in order to move them to new locations and secure their futures-all at world expense.
Phase Two involved deconstructing Israeli homes, businesses, temples, and holy sites, then loading them onto massive fleets of container ships. This phase also involved an Act of Congress deeding a landmass the approximate size of Connecticut and Rhode Island into a separate state straddling the borders of Texas and New Mexico. General David of the Pentagon Special Task Force remarked, “It’s a challenge for sure, but not an insurmountable one.” Shaking his head in wonder he added, “We’re transporting everything from their kitchen sinks to utility poles, farm animals, busses, cars, aircraft, huge electrical generators, and even concrete sewage systems! Noah's Ark on a grand scale for sure!”
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Jet in Columbus
Thnks for your help Mark, don't change a thing!!!Jet
2 - Jet in Columbus
I made Dave Nalle the Gov. of Texas and Gonzo an arms dealer-What was I thinking???
3 - Dave Nalle
Can I be Governor of Texas AND an arms dealer? It worked for George W. when he was running guns to the Contras.
Dave
4 - Jet in Columbus
Duh-take the i and the r out of the president's name and spell the governor's name backwards.
Yes my next piece I'll make you governor and an arms dealer.
Now, what did you think of the piece.
Mark said he nearly fell out of his chair laughing!
5 - Jet in Columbus
And what's wrong with putting Mary in charge of the Army corps and Chris in charge of the World health org?
6 - Mary K. Williams
very funny Jet. : )
7 - Jet in Columbus
Tell you what, just to aleviate confusion, we'll put both Mary AND Lisa in charge of the Army Corps of engineers, after all I made Chantal Stone president!
8 - sr
Jet, You made Dave the Gov of Texas and Gonzo an arms dealer. Dam dude. I have been campaigning for the village Idiot and you could not give me honorable mention. Thanks a bunch friend. sr
9 - Jet in Columbus
So is someone going to comment on the article or just the comments on the article?
10 - sr
Search me. I just watch the moon.
11 - Jet in Columbus
Oh well, at least you're not howling at it!... yet
12 - mschannon
I'd say nice things about the piece, but I notice that I didn't get any position at all in the future government. You want stuff, you give stuff! Got it, buddy.
(I still think it's a riot.)
In Jameson Veritas
13 - duane
If you need a guy in the future who lives in a 1957 Spartanette trailer down by the riverbed who chain smokes and is hooked on Dr. Pepper
YOU DAMNED KIDS! GET OFF MY DRIVEWAY!
Excuse me ... just had to .... ahem ...
well, as I was sayin' ...
Dr. Pepper, Pringles, and C-Span, please cunsider me for the roll. Thank you. Thank you very much.
14 - sr
Mschannon or Duane for President. Guess who is in charge. Karl Jet Rove. What a country. Nuke the unborn @#^%$*(^+#"!+&%$##%^%&. Goodnight. Tomorrow is just another day. The village idiot.
15 - Jet in Columbus
Mark #12-Dear God I've created a monster. Okay the next article I write I'll name something after you.
Dear lord what have I done?
Solus mei sententia
Jet
16 - Jet in Columbus
DAMN IT DUANE YOU MADE ME FALL OFF MY BIKE!
17 - Jet in Columbus
SR-Please don't let your cat walk on your keyboard while your typing!
18 - chantal
thanks for the Nobel Peace Prize, Jet......what did I do again? ;)
this was hilarious!
19 - Al Barger
Jet, I appreciate your creative thinking here, but this probably still wouldn't do it. Muslims would still continue sucking and being miserable, and it would still be the Jews' fault. They'd just end up coming here after them.
Rather than destroying the best part of the Middle East, save all that moving around and just nuke the Palestinians. We'd be doing them a favor, putting them out of their misery and ours, and sending them off to get their 72 white grapes.
20 - Jet in Columbus
#18 President Stone formulated the bold plan to move Israel out of harm's way.
Glad you enjoyed it...
Solus mei sententia
Jet
21 - Jet in Columbus
Al, I considered that and in fact I've often thought why don't the damned Israelites bomb them out of existance amd be done with it, they're obviously a pain in the ass to everyong there.
The trouble is the generations of kids in Lebanon, Syria, Egypt, Saudia Arabia, Iraq and Iran that were raised to believe they'd get those virgins, but only if they sacrificed their lives to kill Jews.
How do you deal with something that hardwired into someone's mind.
Look how long it took to change southern minds and attitudes towards blacks in our own society. No, the only logical way to attain peace in the middle east is to remove the object of the hatred.
Can you imagine if the Jews tried to stay and live in post-nazi Germany, that's basically what's going on in the middle east right now?
Solus mei sententia
Jet
22 - chantal
ah ha! gosh I'm smart! :P
23 - Jet in Columbus
And cute too!
Solus mei sententia
Jet
24 - Dave Nalle
I will indeed comment on the article. It was timely and amusing. Happy now?
Dave
25 - Jet in Columbus
Of course not Dave, surely you know that by now... I know don't call you Shirley. Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it.