Everyone knows that politicians are whores, with their ample pockets spread wide to receive the tumescent input of lobbyists and special interest groups. But what we often forget is that Washington also offers a 'target rich' environment for whores of a more traditional sort, especially those aiming at a classy clientele and charging hefty prices. Or at least it did until recently when the D.C. police actually started cracking down on the escort services who served the needs of politicians and civil servants with a lot of tension and not much time to work it off.
Ah, the demands of a career in government. To rise to the top you have to sacrifice your home life, your free time, and so many of your pleasures. The job comes first so you work insane hours, and you've got to make the most of your small amounts of free time if you want to stay sane. No luxury for hanging out in bars in Georgetown looking for single secretaries. No time to bump carts in the "social" Safeway on Wisconsin Avenue and hook up with a bored housewife. No time to slip ruffies to punk chicks at the 9:30 Club. Hell, with the GOP scrambling to get the Senate back, you hardly even have time to snort blow off the tits of the waitresses at the Camelot anymore.
You're a man. You have power. It makes you horny. You have needs. Sadly you have more needs than time. You do have some self respect. You're not going to hang out with Marion Barry chasing the streetwalkers farther and farther east on Rhode Island Avenue. But wait. What about that ad in the back of the City Paper. Wasn't there something there about an Italian Hottie? $250 an hour, $150 a half? That sounds awfully good. No mess, no fuss and they can send 'Courtny' to your apartment at the Watergate.
Article comments
1 - Clavos
Bleak.
But funny...
2 - Clavos
Have you read the O'Rourke book?
Is it up to his usual standards?
3 - Dave Nalle
I have indeed read the O'Rourke and it's very good. A bit dated at this point like a lot of his essay collections, but typically well written and witty.
Dave
4 - Nancy
Good one, Dave. I just wish more congressmaggots WERE shot for their boots, or whatevers....
5 - lexco
Sen. Jake Knotts said Sunday he has the numbers, but he is not yet sure he would have the votes.
Knotts, R-Lexington, has until noon today to decide whether he’ll submit stacks of petitions to the S.C. Election Commission in an attempt to place his name on the November ballot for governor as an independent.
“I really want to run and I really want to be governor,” Knotts said. “But I’ve got to look into the woods and not just at the tree line.”
Knotts’ adviser, Rod Shealy Jr., said early Sunday afternoon that he did not have an accurate count but was sure they had more than 10,000 signatures " the number required to get on the ballot.
Signed petitions “are still coming in from all over the state,” Shealy said. “We’re sitting down now to make sure that he’s going to pass muster with the election commission. The enthusiasm is out there, boy.”