I had awoken late that brisk January morning to the sound of quail calls outside my bedroom window. I shook off the cobwebs and threw my legs over the side of the bed. A long night of doing shots with Rummy and Condi had left my throat with that distinct taste of bile. I needed a quick drink of water to help it subside. I walked into the bathroom and looked at my sunken eyes in the mirror.
"Jesus, I look like hell." I said as I brought the warm water up to my face. I could still hear the quail calls from outside my room getting louder. I walked out of the bathroom and put on my pants. No sooner had I gotten my t-shirt when my bedroom door came crashing open and a large ominous figure leaped in. He blew the quail call again and the piercing sounds reminded my headache to get back to work. As if sensing my discomfort Dick came over and put me into a head lock. He began to give me the most painful noogie of my life.
"Aww yea, get out of that boy!" Dick yelled through his maniacal laughter. "If I didn't know any better I would say you don't wanna shoot at anything trapped in a cage today son." I smirked a half smile and he finally let me go. I sat back on the bed and finished getting dressed. Dick continued to jump around my room blowing the quail call over and over. "Hurry up!! Hurry up!! Hurrrrrrrry!!" Dick continued to demand, clearly getting frustrated over my slow start. "The boys are downstairs waiting for your slow ass." I stood up, grabbed my jacket, and followed Dick downstairs.
As we walked down the stairs, Dick skipping stairs and whistling the Star Spangled Banner, I could see the regular crew assembled in the foyer. There was Jeb Bush, Bandar Bush, Harry Whittington, and the always outspoken, always annoying Katharine Armstrong. Armstrong owned the Ranch in south Texas and was always happy to tag along to make sure no one caused any trouble. By trouble she meant Dick. Dick was always trying to one up someone. His witty banter was always good for a laugh but it always seemed to be at someone else's expense.
Katharine went to fetch the dogs as we packed up the last of our gear. Personally I never understood why we took dogs onto the ranch grounds since we were just walking over to shoot some quail that were raised in a cage. How could they get away? I could hear Jeb and Dick arguing about some policy that no one really cared about. "Blah you are a pussy!" Dick screamed at Jeb. "How can you be from your father's loins?" Jeb's faced began to turn red. His anger at Dick poking fun at his shallow gene pool was always cause for some fight. We were getting ready to leave when Bandar dropped to his knees, on the bright rug he always carried with him, and began to pray. Dick was not happy with that at all. He kicked some dirt towards Bandar. You could hear Harry giggling in the background. Bandar ignored Dick's insults and finished his prayer. "I need to make sure I have extra protection when there's a Dick like you around," Bandar said. Before Dick could get his comeback together Katharine has returned with the dogs. "Let's goooooo!" Dick exclaimed as he turned around and started to run into the brush. I watched as he ran about a hundred yards in front of us. You could see him for a mile with his bright orange Halliburton hunting outfit.
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