[Senator George Allen (R-VA) is playing in his weekly poker game. Also present are Senator Conrad Burns (R-MT), Senator Sam Brownback (R-KS), Senator Ted Stevens (R-AK), Senator Jim Bunning (R-KY), and Senator Tom Coburn (R-OK).]
SEN. BROWNBACK: So what’re you going to do George? You gonna run?
SEN. ALLEN: Damn right I’m gonna run. This “macaca” thing is bullshit. It’s a media creation that’ll blow over. I don’t even know what “macaca” means. I thought it was the guy’s name. That’s what my staffers were calling him. Jesus, it’s not like I called him “dot head.” Then I could see it. I’d never do that in public. Plain and simple, they are out to get me.
SEN. BUNNING: Oh I heard this great Indian joke. What do you call a 7-11 with…
SEN. STEVENS: You told that one five minutes ago, Jim …
SEN. BUNNING: Sorry.
SEN. STEVENS: Who’s out to get you, the media?
SEN. ALLEN: Well it starts with the media. Most of them are liberal Jews from New York… at least the ones who control everything including Hollywood. They hate the real America and American values. They despise southern Christians most of all. They see me as the embodiment and defender of those things and they want to turn the country into a secular humanist playground where God is banned from the public schools and gay marriage is legal. And most of all they want to open up the borders and let in the entire third world.
SEN. BURNS: We had this little Jewish fellah in my platoon during the war...
SEN BROWNBACK: I agree with you, George. Just let this thing blow over, you’ve still got plenty of support within the party.
SEN. ALLEN: Thanks, Sam. I know I can count on you guys.
[The master bedroom at the Allen house. Present are Sen. and Mrs. George Allen.
The two are in their pajamas, lying in bed, and reading.]
MRS. ALLEN: So how was your card game?
SEN. ALLEN: I won twenty bucks. By the way, I think Jim Bunning may have Alzheimers.