Was it really only on July 24 that I wrote that heart-rendering piece about Willie Nelson, Bo Derek, Ken Wahl, Jennifer Pryor, his family, and the most fabulous looking aliens ever to swoop down upon an unsuspecting Hugh Hefner, The Bodacious Barbi Twins? Willie et al. were heading to Congress to get some bill passed that would make it illegal to send horses overseas where people eat them.
To quote my own article, working with the Society for Animal Protective Legislation, Nelson is urging all Americans to call their members of Congress to let them know Americans won't tolerate the inhumane treatment of horses. Says Nelson, "It's like stepping on the American flag."
So, Willie, let me get this straight. Eat a horse = step on the flag. I wonder how far we can take this?
Eat a flag = throw up the horse. Makes sense. Throw up the horse = provide food for pigs. Making less sense.
Let's try again. Eating a horse is like stepping on the flag, and we all know that true Americans want a constitutional ban on flag stepping, burning, tearing, or other forms of mutilation not already allowed by law. So. Eat a horse = violate a constitutional amendment. Holy Horse Hair, Batman! This could get serious.
But I jest (Willie probably packs a big, big gun.) And it's almost irrelevant because the House today courageously ignored the trivial issues America faces to throw its full weight behind the bill. The hell with illegal immigation, down with military trials for bad guys that the Supreme Court already said were illegal, who needs health care... when there be horses to be saved?
According to a late Reuter's story, "Moved by appeals to protect the noble horse, the U.S. House (of Representatives) voted on Thursday to ban the slaughter of horses for food, potentially saving 90,000 animals a year from being served as a delicacy to diners overseas."