The author of this article is obliged to note that the Presidential aide he interviewed was NOT in fact the actor who played Kumar in Harold and Kumar, nor was he on drugs at the time of listening to the speech.
In order to generate incredible amounts of attention, leaders of the Democratic party met with leaders of the Republican party secretly to pull off the heel/face turn. This agreement resulted in success beyond their wildest dreams.
In a couple years time, the conservatives were the crazy radicals, protesting in the name of America. In return, the Democrats became synonymous with "the man" or "big brother," pushing unpopular moves such as universal healthcare, and government bailouts of evil corporations. Now the Democrats have their very own president who likes to mess around with foreign countries, just because he's powerful enough to do it, as Obama bombs Pakistan with soulless machine drones, and makes insensitive jokes about it, much like his predecessor George W. Bush.
"Just like in wrestling, where a new name or a new mask represents a heel/face change, we decided to invent another name for conservatives - the Tea Party," continued the Republican aide. "And just like in wrestling, if you make the new, charismatic guy the champion all of a sudden, people start to pay attention. That's why we chose Obama over Hilary. A female head of state? The world's already had Margaret Thatcher. But a black president? No one saw that one coming!" said an anonymous Democratic party leader. "Best of all, it worked."
One thing has remained the same, however. The American people are still sheep, easily manipulated by the media.
Hey America. Do you smell what Barack is cookin'?
Article comments
1 - Joanne Huspek
Humorously wry. I can't believe no one else has jumped on this.
2 - Jordan Richardson
I like the pro wrestling angle, but I'm not really sure where the "musical chairs" of the title come in. Perhaps "musical chair shots" instead?
3 - rawdawgbuffalo
Guess we have gone From Buckley to Bachmann
4 - scienceinproducts
Haha Jordan, I guess I should've come up with a better title instead!