The United States is distressingly full of angry white men, most of them inflamed by the vast hate media now infesting the country.
"The number of angry white men in America is getting larger," said Chip Berlet, senior analyst with Political Research Associates in Somerville, Mass., a think tank that studies right-wing extremists.
In particular, the heterosexual, white, Christian men in America feel they've been pushed out of the way," Berlet said. "Attacking the Holocaust Museum is a no-brainer," he said, "because white supremacists blame Jews for the advancement of black people."
"The idea that blacks are put in positions of power by crafty Jews is central to their conspiracy theory," Berlet said.
Sarah Palin, previously known primarily for hunting endangered species and for her perverted penchant for expensive clothing and makeup from Bloomingdale's to update her "slutty flight attendant look," recently called for an uprising against one of America's most beloved liberal communicators, Mr. David Letterman. Ms. Palin — who masquerades as a woman but is only a non-woman thing in heels — had the unmitigated gall to tell her minions that what she (and other conservative fanatics) strangely perceived as a grievous insult to her young tramp of a daughter should be met with violence against the greatly respected Mr. Letterman! Soon, there will be calls from Faux News, the Washington Slimes and the other purveyors of conservative filth for violence toward all who support President Obama's excellent and necessary reforms of the wickedness known as the United States. That wickedness, for which President Obama has had to spend most of his time in office apologizing, must not be revived.
Any conservative, but seemingly peaceful, slob could be a secret terrorist, insanely angered by the malicious reporting he so adores, and moved to strike without warning; it does not take a village, or even a well organized militia, of evil doers:
"It could be anyone. It could be the guy next door, living in the basement of his mother's place, on the Internet just building himself up with hate, building himself up to a boiling point and finally using what he's learned," said John Perren, head of the counterterrorism branch at the FBI's Washington field office.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Dave Nalle
I hear we've already started deporting them to Panama...
Dave
2 - Dan(Miller)
Dave,
You hear wrong.
Panama, being a sanely governed country, won't have them. I think they have been deported to the Republic of Texas, where they are indistinguishable from the rest of the population.
Dan(Miller)
3 - zingzing
as funny as this is, it's still pretty troubling to watch you right wingers going bat shit insane. i mean, there was a time when you stoically puffed your pipe and didn't fuck your women, but now, you're shooting people in the face and dropping your pants on the internet.
it's like someone pushed the "obama" button and you guys lost your hardon for killing foreigners and started killing americans.
damn.
it takes two to make a thing go r ight. it takes two to make it outtasite.
4 - Clavos
Tango anyone?
5 - Dan(Miller)
Zing, thanks for saying it's funny. However, it was not meant to be, at least not to any greater degree than the various linked articles of which it is an attempted parody. I don't think they were intended to be funny; maybe I'm wrong, since I'm just winging it.
I totally agree that it's still pretty troubling to watch you right wingers going bat shit insane Amen, brother! I well remember when a right wing guy named Hinckley tried to kill President Reagan. The conservative press, of course, hid this by claiming that the guy was just a nut who wanted to impress some female movie star. But we know better!
Oh. Did I mention the kindly Professor Ayers who, back in his right wing fanatic phase, went around setting bombs? We all know that he was right wing fanatic!
They are all the same! They gotta go!
Dan(Miller)
6 - zingzing
i concur.
(but, obviously, my response was supposed to be ironic... in its "you are what you is" kind of way)
7 - Bliffle
IMO, this article is too heavy-handed to succeed as satire. Imo satire should be teasing, not bludgeoning, in order to engage the readers sense of play and fun.
The article is neither playful nor funny. But I think it's possible to write a good satire given the material.
For me, the possibility of humor around this subject has been diminished by the recent shooting at the Holocaust Museum following so soon upon the murder of Dr. Tiller.
YMMV.
8 - Cindy
3
(admiration noted)
9 - Irene Wagner
Zingxing, it takes two to make it outtasite, but it's the female who has to wear the maternity clothes, in the broad daylight, under the limelight.
Letterman's humor hurt more because I'm a WOMAN than it did because I'm someone who might be identified as a "conservative."
PS - Cindy -- The other day a comment of mine to you was a casualty of the system malfunction. It was in appreciation of your wolf urine warning! Sorry not to have tried again sooner--I've been busy helping a neighbor catch one of the many feral cats in the neighborhood, although I am beginning to wonder if her determined efforts to spay them (and socialize their kittens :)--want one?) are actually causing the squirrel population to go up...
10 - Irene Wagner
"All Conservative Media must GO!"
Dan (Miller), when I saw your title, I thought someone was going out of business.
But if that were the case, one would have to infer that the media is for sale. And that's (satire) just silly.
11 - Cindy
rofl @ Irene. You should write satire.
I love felines. I do want one or three. Unfortunately I need a consensus to actually get any. :-(
So far the answer is : "Not ready yet."
How can someone not be ready to get a cat? It's beyond my imagination.
12 - Cindy
Oh, Irene, how cool that you are helping (your neighbor) help maintain a feral colony. I am big on that sort of thing. Your neighbor sounds likable. :-)
13 - Irene Wagner
I never realized how extensive this colony was, Cindy, til she sent a neighborhood-wide email plea for help. And guess who enlisted my aid? My formerly cat-hating husband. So, take heart. (I'd have preferred he'd enlisted HIS OWN DANG AID catching feral cats, but if it means a basket of kittens in the house for a few weeks :) my ultra-cat-loving kids and I, (not particularly partial to cats, but the one who actually ends up bagging the poop) are happy. We only have one cat, a mean old dutchess who is an example of what happens when a feral kitten is adopted TOO LATE to socialize. Any kittens we get ready for adoption will have to stay upstairs while she's in the basement, lest she tear them apart.
14 - Irene Wagner
duchess. dang.
15 - Irene Wagner
but i still talk cat language to her. she purrs about once a month.
16 - Baronius
I still think that Letterman line was a Spitzer joke, not a Palin joke. Not that Letterman really tells jokes any more. He's fallen into that Johnny Carson thing where he mentions a topic that could have a funny joke written about it, and the audience thinks that there was a joke. As for Palin, she already has the support of the "everyone's unfair to us" conservatives, but there are a lot of people who became conservative because they're sick of the whining of liberals, and she's probably not winning them over.
17 - Baronius
And while we're on the subject of whining (ok, while I'm on the subject of whining), Carrie Prejean isn't an inspiring leader. She's a beauty pageant contestant who got screwed over. The inspiring part of a got-screwed-over story is after you take the hit, when you move on.
18 - Irene Wagner
Eliot Spitzer is a sort-of inspiring leader, then, for not rising to the bait!
19 - Irene Wagner
I don't know Baronius. I guess I don't think like politicians do, so I can't figure out if Sarah Palin was feuding with Letterman as a sore loser or a justifiably enraged mama bear.
20 - Clavos
I say the latter, and she has reason.
Letterman's smarmy and supercilious.
Never liked him.
21 - Baronius
Dunno, Irene. I can only say that to my ear, that pitch sounds in the whining range.
22 - Cindy
Irene,
but i still talk cat language to her
I can imagine you talking cat language too! :-) (multilingual)
But, my husband IS a cat lover. Our last two adopted him! He named both of them--blackie and tabbie. (lol egads!, I know...shhhh don't ever tell on me! He named a third one 'pussycat'--ran out of colors I guess. lol, just happy she didn't end up being 'fluffy' or something.)
He even carried heated towels to tabby across the street before he was brave enough to come inside. He just forgets that it's not a stranger whose litter box we'll be cleaning. It will be a family member.
23 - Irene Wagner
Well sometimes people need time to grieve after pets die, so maybe that's where your husband is now? MissKitty is the first pet I've had as an adult, so I don't know what that would be like.
24 - Irene Wagner
...The only pet I had as a child was...Dan (Miller) thanks so much for letting me use your satire to share this...was a goldfish I named Sally, whom my mother flushed down the toilet, presumably dead...
and I wasn't really that sad, but a cat is different.
Baronius, this is The View going on right now, OK? You use the word "whining" in the same sentence as a reference to female politician, you gotta be ready to face the music! LOL
25 - Cindy
The only pet I had as a child was...Dan (Miller)
Really??!!?
How did you manage to talk your parents into letting you have a lawyer for a pet?
(rofl)