I mean he has Leonardo DiCaprio egging him on, on national (nay, international TV) for godsakes! That alone would ensure that women and the gay community would vote for Gore! Which gives him a majority. How? If women make up close to 50% of the population and the openly gay community makes up say even 5% of the remaining male population, then Gore gets close to 55% of the vote. Add to that 10% from the remaining 45% of men who are secretly gay, and also 10% from the remaining who think they are liberal and helping the environment (these guys are also gay probably, but don't want to even start thinking about it). So, 50 + 5 + 10 + 10 = some ridiculous number of people that will vote as long as it is above 50 (ok, ok, it is 75%).
Now to be honest, this is not 75% of the total population of America. That would be blasphemous. What, in a total democracy, you wouldn't expect more than 5% of the population to actually want to have anything to do with the election process, would you? The remaining 95% of the people leave their choice-making to the courts. So that's like 75% of 5%, which is like, err... ummm... ahem... 3.75% of the total population voting for Gore — which makes him the next president of the U.S.
I mean how many politicians, other than Gore in this case, have a sense of humour? We know that Hillary certainly doesn't. Bill Clinton was probably the last one to seem to have one and he used to it to rake up the brownie points with the ladies and "make sexy-time" (as Borat would put it). Even he seems to have lost it now considering his blow-up on TV recently. So, all the remaining candidates were dropping dead at the sight of Gore starting to announce his candidacy, thus ensuring that when he does make the real announcement, he would be left with no real competition.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Heloise
And someone thought Heloise was making it up! I knew he would win the oscar, and NOT announce. But did not think he would pretend to announce. That was sort of funny. YAll I have to say is that Carter is also pushing him to run. Gore has Kennedy connections, like Kerry. That is part of the reason that Kerry chose him as running mate.
Heloise
2 - Sisyphus
"For those of you who were living in a cave and did not watch the Oscars last night...."
FYI: I had better things to do than to spend four hours glued to the tube last night watching an awards presentation. And I don't live in a cave.
3 - JustOneMan
This is so pathetic..these guys really think America and these hollywood assholes think alike..the biggest convention of mental midgets..with big fat AL as their leader...lol lol
JOM
4 - JustOneMan
Last night, Al Gore’s global-warming documentary, An Inconvenient Truth, collected an Oscar for best documentary feature, but the Tennessee Center for Policy Research has found that Gore deserves a gold statue for hypocrisy.
Gore’s mansion, located in the posh Belle Meade area of Nashville, consumes more electricity every month than the average American household uses in an entire year, according to the Nashville Electric Service (NES).
In his documentary, the former Vice President calls on Americans to conserve energy by reducing electricity consumption at home.
The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh"more than 20 times the national average.
Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh"guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore’s average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.
Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore’s energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006.
Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.
“As the spokesman of choice for the global warming movement, Al Gore has to be willing to walk to walk, not just talk the talk, when it comes to home energy use,” said Tennessee Center for Policy Research President Drew Johnson.
In total, Gore paid nearly $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate in 2006.
5 - The village idiot
WHO GIVES A RATS ASS ABOUT THE OSCARS? PLACE AN N BEFORE THE O, CHANGE THE O TO A AND WE HAVE NASCARS. MY WIFE WATCHED IT BUT KEPT GOING TO THE DECORATING CHANNEL OR WHAT EVER YOU CALL IT. I WATCHED THE DOG FIGHTS AND DIRTY JOBS MARATHON. WAS HOPING TO SEE SOME HOLY-WOOD ELEATISH CLEANING VOMIT AND SHIT OUT OF AN AIRCRAFT COCKPIT. CANT WIN IM ALL YA KNOW.
6 - Dave Nalle
Good stuff, JoM. Reminiscent of the Kennedys and their opposition to the wind farm off the coast near their Hyannis estate.
Gore is just another opportunistic limousine leftist, I'm afraid.
Nonetheless, a better choice than most of the Democrat candidates and half the Republicans, even if he has these goofy ideas about global warming.
Dave
7 - zingzing
dave, jom, don't get all your news from conservative weblogs, or don't just tell the part you want to believe:
"Electric bills obtained by The Tennessean, however, showed that Gore is paying a premium on his bills to be part of the “green power” program. Gore purchased 108 blocks of “green power” for at least each of the last three months, according to a summary of bills from Nashville Electric Service.
That’s a total of $432 a month spent to pay extra for solar or other renewable energy sources. NES power " outside this program - is derived largely from coal, which emits carbon, a green house gas.
The green power purchased by Gore in those three months is equivalent to recycling 2.48 million aluminum cans, or recycling 286,092 pounds of newspaper, according to comparison figures on the utility's Web site."
-Monday, 02/26/07, The Tennessean
"Gore gets heat for his electric bills"
8 - zingzing
also, from the same article: "They use compact fluourescent lights and are in the midst of a renovation project that includes having solar panels installed on their home to reduce fossil fuel consumption."
9 - Sibin
Sisyphus, about this...
Do you realize that this article is a piece of humour/satire? Or was the point missed entirely? :)
10 - Clavos
Weak, zing, weak.
Gore should downscale to a 2500 square foot house like most of the rest of us AND use fluorescent bulbs and solar panels.
11 - professays
I am for Bush's third term in office.
12 - Maurice
Sibin,
very little of the satire offerings at BC are funny. You have done a bang up job. I would say you are right on the money. Of course with the dollar being down compared to the Euro you are about 68% on the money. Wait. With the wealthy controlling 98% of the money you are about 68% of 2%...well, anyway it was a good effort.
Your description of hell seems scarier than Dantes.
13 - Sibin
Maurice,
Thanks for the nice comments. Also, about...
Being the impoverished grad student that I am, that 68% of 2% seems like a HUGE deal...I'll take it any day ! :)
14 - Sisyphus
Sibin: "Do you realize that this article is a piece of humour/satire? Or was the point missed entirely? :)"
Yes, I understand and enjoyed the article. I was just bothered by your comment that anyone choosing not to watch the Oscars are cave dwellers (not that I have anything against cavemen). No big deal. :)
15 - zingzing
clavos:"Gore should downscale to a 2500 square foot house like most of the rest of us AND use fluorescent bulbs and solar panels."
doesn't change the facts. i don't care one way or the other.
wait, wait... i thought global warming didn't exist? so why does it matter?
anyway, the point is that jom and dave are trying to paint gore as this power-grubbing hypocrite. no matter what you think of gore, do you think him THAT STUPID? obviously, the man isn't going to open himself up to that kind of criticism without taking some measures to protect himself from it. he's a fucking politician!
all i did was quote the facts, so if that's weak, you're just a right-wing talking bird. it's fucking sick watching people sit there and claim the truth of the matter is "weak" when it's JUST THE FUCKING TRUTH, NOTHING MORE.
i'm not making a fucking argument, just fleshing out the real fucking facts of the matter so fuck the fuck off with your "weak" shit.
he should fucking live in a fucking tent, like the rest of us should i guess. is that what you fucking want?
16 - zingzing
fuck!
17 - JustOneMan
Zing.....
Gore is a power-grubbing hypocrite. Gee...he a Leaquerdo Decrapio should crawl into their hybrids...to their limos that will drive them to their private jets.
The Oscars are green this year...lol lol how much fuel and energy is wasted each time a movie is made...its not like they are curing cancer or doing surgery..
JOM
PS ALGORE IS THE BIGGEST FUCKING ASSHOLE...HISTORY WILL GIVE HIME HIS DUE...
18 - JustOneMan
Zing...his energy usage doesnt even include all the hamburger meat Gore eats stuffing his big fat head...rememeber what a cow can do the the Ozone..based on his waist size he may be the number one cause of global warming (if it really did exists!)
19 - jaz
JoM - every time you type, the baby Jesus cries.
20 - zingzing
ahh, jom. clavos angers me with a few words, while you just make me laugh. "if it really did exists," indeed.
21 - JustOneMan
Jiz...you sound alot like... I forget his name was it NoGonads Marks or something like that
22 - jaz
brilliant deduction there, sherlock...all ya hadda do is click the lil URL thing to go right to my writers page... but you knew that
how about you stop acting like a 12 year old gamer in his mom's basement and try to actually communicate beyond the incessant whining?
oh yes, and fucking with folks names as an insult is not only weak as hell, but a clear violation of the comments policy, as per Christopher
enjoy your day, someday soon your balls will drop, your voice will change...and you can get out of that basement...maybe even talk with a live girl without having to pay her
nah, you love keeping your lips on the Rovian/dittohead nutsack way too much
do things taste salty to you?
23 - troll
jaz says -
*oh yes, and fucking with folks names as an insult is not only weak as hell, but a clear violation of the comments policy, as per Christopher*
but its great fun and is taught in "Trolling 101"
24 - jaz
geez, here i had thought it was part of the thesis for "punk assed bitches" 202?
must have gotten my syllabus confused
25 - Ron
some of you people are amazing. you would blame the mouse for getting eaten by the cat