Satire: African Union Issues Slavery Apology

At a press conference in Harlem In honor of America's Black History Month, chairman H.E Jakaya Kikwete of the African Union apologized, on behalf of the nations represented by his organization, for the involvement of some elements of the African continent in the black slave trade.

"You cannot talk about the black slave trade" Kikwete said at a the Harlem offices of the Clinton Global Initiative, "without talking about the role of Africa. The vestiges of slavery hurt my people and it hurts your people," Kikwete said, gesturing toward the mostly black Harlem audience.

The official apology was voted on by the leadership of the African Union in March 2007, to be finalized 11 months later, when everyone would have a better impression of who would emerge in the 2008 Election. In a 2007 press release titled "The Time is Come," the African Union wrote that: "in an era where America has emerged as one of the dark continent's best friends," citing George W. Bush's $5 billion-plus AIDS assistance package, "it's time to put some of our darkest history to bed."

"We at the African Union believed that, at a time when Americans might have an opportunity to elect the first black president, we had to built the ties that bind between the Motherland and your land," Kikwete said, President Clinton tugging on his jacket and growing noticeably red in the face.

"I've been called the 'first black president' before, and I think there's some truth to that," said Clinton. "I mean, I could've put my office space anywhere and I picked Harlem, for chrissakes. To be able to bring people together like this has been a pleasure," Clinton said immediately after the remark about Obama.

Said President Bush, in a video taped for the ceremony: "Some of my best friends are black. It's good to see them clear up that whole slavery thing, finally."

Though a major talking point amongst the African delegation, to Clinton's chagrin, presidential candidate Barack Obama was not present at the ceremony. Obama claimed, through a spokesperson, that he had been give "extremely late notice" of the ceremony, "almost as if someone didn't want him there."

Clinton rebuked the claims that Obama's absence at the ceremony was part of any designs on his part. "My meetings are open to everybody. What, does [Obama] need an engraved invitation?"

Article Author: James David Dickson

James David Dickson is the Collegiate Network Fellow at The American Spectator.

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