Satire: A Godless Nation Saved by the National Day of Prayer! - Page 3

After school, I picked up the kids and we headed out to the Dinner and Silent Auction hosted by Texas Disposal Systems at their Wildlife Ranch. The kids loved all the animals and thought the flaming methane vents were 'really cool'. We went home tired but filled with the love of God, and before we went to sleep we all prayed together that we'd be able to work as hard every day of the year to bring prayer back to our schools and save the souls of all our neighbors in Christ.

It was a great National Day of Prayer and another step on the path to making America God's chosen nation once again.

I urge all of you to find out more about the great work of Dr. James Dobson and his wife Shirley who heads up the tax-exempt National Day of Prayer Foundation. Their efforts to bring prayer into the public schools and into our workplaces are the only thing that can save this nation. And please join us in condemning the Godless, homosexual, humanists who deny the truth of God's Love with their sick and un-American National Day of Reason.

And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. — Matthew 6:5

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Article Author: Dave Nalle

Dave Nalle has been a magazine editor, freelance writer, capitol hill staffer, game designer and taught college history for many years. He is now a pro-liberty political activist and designs fonts for a living. …

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  • 1 - Gordon Hauptfleisch

    May 05, 2006 at 5:03 am

    Jocularity, jocularity, Dave.
    You know of course, that you'll be going to hell for this. But I'll try to squeeze in a prayer for you today as I entreat for the salvation of those Spongebob-loving Johnsons.

  • 2 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 9:10 am

    If I go to hell it will only be to preach salvation to the unrepentant sinners there and I'll have Shirley Dobson at my left hand and James Dobson at my right hand, and the light of our pure righteousness will smite the darkness and open the gates of hell forever. If Jesus could do it then why not us?

    Dave

  • 3 - troll

    May 05, 2006 at 9:20 am

    good to see that at last you've been saved

    troll

  • 4 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 9:39 am

    Not only am I saved, but I'm so much better and more thoroughly saved than anyone else that my mere presence in a room causes others to be spontaneously saved.

    Dave

  • 5 - Michael J. West

    May 05, 2006 at 9:42 am

    you dare to compare yourself to Jesus! Your the devil himself, i think you did this entire article as a big joke because chrsitans are just a big joke right????????? well get real and wake up because Jesus is REAL and even thogh you are turning christans into a joke and taking GOD away from america the joke will be on you when the last days!!!!!!!

  • 6 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 9:44 am

    I like that last clause, which was apparently interrupted before you could put in a verb, presumably because the rapture hit you right at that moment.

    Dave

  • 7 - Michael J. West

    May 05, 2006 at 9:53 am

    Knowledge of the Holy Spirit eliminates the need for verbs. It's in the Bible, duh.

  • 8 - James

    May 05, 2006 at 10:18 am

    Don't complain when people tell your kids about Gays and Lesbians, or that smoking marijuana is ok, or that republicans and god are evil concepts if you're going to send your "little saints" to preach your view.

  • 9 - Michael J. West

    May 05, 2006 at 10:20 am

    Say, Dave...by chance are you familiar with the work of Bob Lassiter?

  • 10 - Maurice

    May 05, 2006 at 10:47 am

    I laughed until I stopped!

    See you in hell, Dave.

  • 11 - Phillip Winn

    May 05, 2006 at 11:30 am

    Some people just don't get the concept of satire, but fortunately most do.

    I've often heard that part of Matthew 6 used out of context, but I'd say your application in this biting bit of commentary is spot-on.

  • 12 - Sister Ray

    May 05, 2006 at 11:37 am

    All those prayers since 1952 seem to have paid off for the kneepad industry...$17.95 indeed.

  • 13 - zingzing

    May 05, 2006 at 1:22 pm

    i don't know which was actually more funny... the article or the fact that all of those things are actually for sale. gays and pot are cool, [okay, most] christians are fools.

  • 14 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 1:23 pm

    I've heard that sometimes those kneepads are used for unholy and immoral purposes. Kneepads aren't just for praying, you know...

    Dave

  • 15 - Maurice

    May 05, 2006 at 2:09 pm

    Phillip

    if you were referring to me, I was being satirical in kind. After all, if I see Dave in hell that means I'm there too.

    Once again, funny as hell Dave!

  • 16 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 5:00 pm

    We're all going to burn in hell just for using the internet which is the Devil's tool for distributing porn.

    Dave

  • 17 - rekounas

    May 05, 2006 at 6:59 pm

    Where is this Godless country? Can I be part? Hope the politicians aren't liars, crooks, and sodomites like in the Christian countries.

  • 18 - Dave Nalle

    May 05, 2006 at 11:09 pm

    In the godless country the politicians are liars, crooks and sodomites too, but we've learned not to care.

    Dave

  • 19 - RJ Elliott

    May 05, 2006 at 11:54 pm

    For some o' that ol' time religion, I highly recommend godhatesfags.com, which provides just the sort of manna a lost flock needs in these dark times...

  • 20 - Dave Nalle

    May 06, 2006 at 12:06 am

    You have truly brought me to the light, RJ. Now I realize that God is a god of hate and I am prepared to suitably worship him. I'm heading out to WalMart to buy rubber hipwaders and gloves so that when I dance on the corpses of God's enemies the blood won't soil my clothes.

    Dave

  • 21 - Jet in Columbus

    May 06, 2006 at 12:27 am

    I was wondering where you could buy those!?!

  • 22 - Dave Nalle

    May 06, 2006 at 10:12 am

    I have high hopes that we will soon be able to buy all of the fine products of the Dobson empire of christian righteousness at WalMart. Sam would smile down from heaven.

    Dave

  • 23 - Jet in Columbus

    May 06, 2006 at 2:25 pm

    You could be a spokesmodel Dave and we'd see you leering down at us from giant posters in Walmart windows all over America!

  • 24 - Jet in Columbus

    May 06, 2006 at 2:26 pm

    I am curious about one thing though... why SpongeBob SquarePants or should I be afraid to ask?

  • 25 - Dave Nalle

    May 06, 2006 at 4:28 pm

    Since I look more than a little bit like a cross between Rasputin and Anton LaVey, I'm not sure how good a spokesmodel for Christian products I'd really be.

    As for SpongeBob, that's a reference to last year's media crusade by James Dobson. His wife is the head of the NDPF, and he's the leader of Focus on the Family, in which capacity he decided that Spongebob was gay and needed to be stamped out last summer. Needless to say, Spongebob is still around.

    Dave

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