The Sh*tstorm Over The Word Sh*t
This will, necessarily, be one of the most difficult articles I will ever write. Not because of the subject matter, mind you. It's the way I type. In order to maintain the family-friendly nature of my website (can't you see all those impressionable little 10-year-olds clicking over to the House in order to discover the latest in the Glenn Greenwald soap opera? Or perhaps to pick up the latest inventive invective I spew toward the left?), I make it a hard and fast rule that I not spell out three of the more colorful metaphors in the English language.
You know which ones they are. I know which ones they are. I know you know which ones they are, just like you know that I know which ones they are, which means I don't have to repeat them. The fact that my site is on the sh*t list in most libraries across the country already, due to its "racist, sexist, homophobic" (did you forget anti-illegal immigrant?) slant, just makes my care to not use vulgarity on the site all the more puzzling.
Chalk it up to a residual belief in Catholicism that posits the notion my mother is reading what I write up in heaven. A pleasant thought, that. On the other hand, she was a Roosevelt liberal so I'm sure she clucks her tongue at some of the things that end up on this website.
Since I have voluntarily rejected spelling out completely the word "sh*t" and substituting the ubiquitous star, I might as well reveal that I am not a very good typist. Don't ask me why, but I only use three fingers on my left hand and one on my right. Weird, huh?
Of course, that means getting my fingers up to that sh*tty star on the keyboard can get to be a real f**king nuisance, ya know what I mean? I mean, sometimes I feel like a real paste eater when typing.
Maybe I should get some pointers from Goldstein on that. Or maybe TBogg could be helpful in this respect; he was one of the first to refer to Goldstein as a paste eater. Obviously, he knows all about paste eating, and not much else, but paste eating seems to fall within the scope of his knowledge.