Noted Climatologist Pat Robertson said at a recent Intelligent Design Weather Symposium that he believes that Florida's hurricane problems are due to the devil.
"We have insulted God with legal abortion and restrictions on religion in public places. Then we say 'why does this happen?' Well, why it's happening is that God Almighty is lifting his protection from us. Florida is just seething with Godless Cubans and Satan worshipping Catholic Mexicans. By turning our backs on Jesus, we have let God unleash the Devil down there."Mr. Robertson was heckled by protesters who were claiming "Global Warming" to be the cause. They were written off by Mr. Robertson as liberals and Satan loving homosexuals off the record. On the record Mr. Robertson said:
”Their science couldn’t possible be right. Their computer model shows that the Earth is billions of years old and every Christian knows that’s a Commie lie. Look, God only made the universe and the Earth which it revolves around about 6,000 years ago. It is a proven fact, just look in Genesis.”Mr. Robertson is set to release his findings in more detail later this year at the conference for The National Christian Science Foundation.
Satire by John Bill, founder of independent think tank the Jmaximus Institute of Freedom.
Article comments
1 - DrPat
Snicker. Good one, JB!
2 - todd
"Noted Climatologist Pat Robertson"
HAR!
3 - Dr. David James Nolan
Dear Dr. Robertson,
Will you kindly inform me of the National Christian Science Foundation? I've neither heard about nor known anything about this organization. I know you are an exceedingly busy man but I desire with all my heart to convey to you in absolute sincerity and veracity that Christ Jesus is my Lord and Savior and my life is one lived in constant praise and glory to God for having provided all humanity with His only begotten Son to redeem us and rstore us to rightful stature as the divinely ideal "image and likeness" of our one Adorable One "" our Only Uncreated Source and Substance we commonly call, God!
In Unity of Good,
Dr. David James Nolan, Chancellor
The Christian Science University
4 - Steve S
oh geez. And satire like this doesn't even send off warning bells among the faithful anymore.
and restore us to rightful stature
what does this mean?
5 - Dave Nalle
This doesn't sound like satire to me. It sounds like straightforward news reporting. And that's what's really scary.
Dave
6 - John Bill
I hear they teach Exorcism at his "University".
7 - Lucie
The Pulitzer Prize Winning newspaper, the Christian Science Monitor on Aug. 26 carried the article "A quest to decode a hurricane's secret force." It's based on the U. of Miami's RAINEX research project. (Check csmonitor.com for the latest news.)
The value of satire lies in picking a likely target. You obviously didn't do any homework in including Christian Science. Christian Scientists are NOT creationists who subscribe to the 6,000 year old earth theory.
In fact, Laurance Doyle who is active in the SETI project, was recently interviewed in a Christian Science publication on his sense of the underlying spiritual creation--which he doesn't find in conflict with his scientific research.
Lucie Lehmann-Barclay
Boston MA
8 - Nancy
His rantings sound just like Mark the Insane & Senseless; wonder if MSS is actually Robertson's pseudonym?
9 - John Bill
Lucie if you don't believe in creationism, why do you call yourself a christian. How can you believe the bible is the word of god, but only believe bits and pieces? I guess you don't have the courage of your convictions.
10 - John Bill
Oh btw, the Rainex project, doesn't work. I put some on my windshield and I didn't notice any difference.
11 - Bill Sweet, amateur parapsychologist
Your humor may have elements of truth.
It's a good idea to have a national committee of Christian Science.
Additionally, consciousness research is actually pointing to concepts which very much might touch on how geographical locations and their peoples may contribute to world climate conditions through their anger or their love. It is just one factor, a subtle one, but apparently a real one. There is a contagion of belief that traverses the world. How is that for a weird post?
-Bill Sweet, author of "A Journey Into Prayer: Pioneers of Prayer in the Laboratory" -- see reviews on amazon.com
12 - Shark
Funny; I was gonna write a piece on Robertson and Osama Bin Laden both taking credit for Katrina.
But it was too obvious -- so I let it go.
Now I'm glad I did.
PS: DaveN, that's the problem with satire these days: it's almost indistinguishable from Reality.
"Oh what a world, what a world!" -- Wicked Witch
13 - Mark Saleski
i saw a good editorial cartoon the other day. it was robertson in a tshirt that said "Who Would Jesus Assassinate?"
14 - Silas Kain
New Orleans' French Quarter, known for its hedonism and care free spirit was part of the remaining 15% of the city that was not under water. In my mind there has to be a God now. He let the French Quarter remain while 120 WalMarts closed. So, religious nutjobs, what say you to that?
15 - Natalie Davis
Wow, Mr. Kain. #14 gave me the first smile I've had in eons.
16 - Shark
Silas, good call!
Question: was Marie Laveau's grave left undisturbed?
If so, count me as a born-again believer!
17 - Silas Kain
I don't know Shark, but when I'm able to get through to my Acadian cousins I will definitely ask. There are some stories out there about those French Quarter residents. There's the lesson for the rest of us but how many are too blind to see it?
18 - Nancy
It would seem that the "old" buildings in the city make it thru whatever is dished out to them, while anything post-civil war gets trashed. It will be too cool if Queen Marie's is still intact, ditto all the gorgeous old places in the French + St. Looey's cathedral. I look forward to finding out, Silas.
19 - tuesday
wow! hurricans! it scares me! oh no
20 - brent
wow this guy is away from what the christians really believe