I thought I knew who I was until I tried to establish my "identity" with the U.S. Passport Center.
With all the terrorist threats from within and without, it is somewhat ironic to me that I, a taxpaying citizen born in the United States with no criminal record or even a traffic ticket to my name, would encounter significant snafus when trying to get a passport to travel to Amsterdam this month for a vacation.…
Article comments
26 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
This was received by e-mail this evening. Sergio Tezza is an historian, linguist and translator, as well as an observant Jew. Generally, he tracks my views on things. Not here. Quoting my comments, he writes,
"When you are a Jew, a little paranoia always helps.
The following article is written by Elvira Black, a Jewish woman who writes for Blog Critics Magazine and who lives in the Bronx. This article appeared yesterday, (10 May, 2007).
Passport Purgatory!
Written by Elvira Black [...]"
Shalom Reuven and the rest!
I had the opposite experience in 2003 and in 2004. I found myself stuck in Madrid in the summer of 2003 - on a transit flight to JFK - without having realised that my US Passport had expired the previous month, since I had used my Israeli Passport to leave TLV.
A wall of hostility and abuse of power met my calm and civilized protest directed to an OLD FASCIST (he had CERTAINLY been a policeman under Franco) "GUARDIA CIVIL" INSPECTOR THAT DID NOT WANT TO LET ME ON THE FLIGHT; I tried to explain that a US citizen can get into the country EVEN WITHOUT A DOCUMENT if he can prove his identity, and in fact I had gotten previously into the US with a US Driver License since I had left my US Passport at home, and that such was the LAW in the US.
I called the US Embassy, where they confirmed that since I had a US Passport that had recently expired it would ABSOLUTELY NOT BE A PROBLEM. The fascist idiot, who HATED MY OBVIOUS LOOK of an observant Jew, could not care less, and even refused to talk to the Ambassador's Secretary. So, the fascist moron proceeded to embark my family, who had no idea what was going on, and stopped me.
At that point, I decided to switch languages and to show him that I spoke a more eloquent Spanish than he did (I even taught it for a while), and I proceeded to quote the articles of US Immigration Law that the Ambassador's Secretary had told me a few moments before, and saying, looking into his eyes, that "este fascista de mierda va a pagar caro su jueguito, y va a dirigir el trafico en las calles de Madrid" (this shitty fascist is going to pay his little game very dearly, and he is going to direct traffic in the streets of Madrid").
By now he had realised that he was not dealing with the usual scared Jew... but with a Jew without fear in any language and on top of it a US Citizen protected by his country...
So, I left the airport he tried not to let me out of the airport and send me back to TLV because I had no Spanish Visa on my Israeli Passport, and an expired US Passport is not enough to get into Spain.
Little he knew that I was also carrying an Italian Passport that had expired 11 years before, but that the law said that he could not prevent my entrance into Spain, since I was a EU Citizen too.
The fascist animal was GREEN WITH RAGE... Especially because at the Passport control, there was a German POLICE SUPERVISOR, who REALLY DISLIKED his Spanish colleague attitude towards me and told me: "This looks like an antisemite to me", after asking me if I understood German and I said "a little".
Once I reached the US Embassy in Madrid, without appointment and barely before they closed to the public, I was let in, I filled a request for temporary passport, and within 45 minutes I had in my hands a brand new Passport valid for one year (the person in charge of Passports, came out to give it to me personally, and asked me, to my surprise, if I was an FBI Agent. When I said: "Why?", she said: "I have been working here for many years, and NEVER anyone had gotten all the OKs from all the States in less than one hour. The person who got it in one hour was a CIA "employee" [here she winked]. You got it in half that time, which meant that the OK was given automatically by the computer system without any human intervention, which means that either you had no previous record, even traffic violations, in any of the 50 States, or that you are an FBI employee. I thought it would be rude to ask you if you had a clean record". I told her that of course, given that I am broke and FBI agents around the world get paid pretty well... :-) the reason was "no previous record ANYWHERE". I was the talk of the Embassy: all the clerks wanted to see this guy who got a new US Passport in 45 minutes. We had a real laugh and I even got some
Coca-Cola for free... :-)
A year later, I went to the US Consulate in Jerusalem to obtain a new US Passport. I zoomed by (kippah, peoth, gun and all) past the hundreds of Arabs waiting for a Visa whose looks could kill; I deposited my gun at the entrance, gave my pictures, the money and the request form to the American clerk, and I was told that I would receive the passport five to twelve days from that moment.
It was a Monday or a Tuesday, I forgot, but NEXT SUNDAY MY NEW PASSPORT HAD ARRIVED TO MY JERUSALEM MAILING ADDRESS from the Baltimore Central Passport Office (The Central Passport Office where ALL the New DIGITALIZED US Passports come from, is in Baltimore, Maryland, NOT in New Hampshire). It had actually taken FIVE DAYS, including travel time, for the temporary passport to reach Baltimore, for them to issue a new one, cancel the old one and send both of them back to me... and I did not even pay for the express mail delivery option... :-) ...and if you saw the picture my passport carries, you might believe that I belong to the "Mustard Chassidim"... :-), given the VERY LONG peoth and beard, the large techeleth kippah and a mustard colour Lacoste...
In any case, believe me, once you have tried bureaucracy in MANY countries, you realize that the US is as close to Gan Eden as a Federal Republic can get, and I really believe that it is still the freest of all, in spite of Big Brother, the Military Industrial Complex, The Multinational Corporations, etc. And you realise also that it is the freest place for a Jew to live as a Jew, even if I chose to live right by our Forefathers Tombs. In the US no Jew would ever be arrested for praying!
Shavu'a Tov!
Sergio
27 - Dave Nalle
I need to renew my passport this year, and of course, I haven't done it since before 9/11. I can just imagine how the bureaucrats are going to react to my birth certificate in Arabic. Plus if they want more than one photo ID they're out of luck. I haven't had a job with a photo ID in 20 years, so they'll have to be satisfied with my Texas DL.
BTW, in my experience Russian border agents always hassle everyone for no particular reason. The country I've always found to be the most laid back in England, where I always get waved through by a thoroughly bored Paki.
dave
28 - STM
"Even when I arrived in Fiji and was greeted by a passport control official with a face longer than a Congressional filibuster. I mean, come on... Fiji?!? (To be fair to the guy, it was 5.15 a.m.)"
Lol. Bula ...
I've never seen so many smiling people in the one place, although it's not always good. They even smile in Suva when they're having a coup.
But by and large, it's pretty friendly. 200 years ago, though, they were eating white fellas - and loving it, I'm reliably informed.
29 - Dr Dreadful
Bula yourself. Yes, people seem to be pretty laid back about the persistent coups in Fiji. I think that those in the echelons of power there seem to be uncomfortable that South America doesn't seem to have coups any more, and have decided that the title of 'Coup Central' needs to be inherited by the South Pacific.
Those not in the echelons of power seem to have decided to more or less let them get on with it, on the grounds that it doesn't seem to affect things much and keeps them amused.
Yes, I've heard about the cannibalism. Apparently we taste like chicken, and go down great with a nice bowl of kava.
BTW, I hit the BBC News website this evening and saw Johnny Boy's face gawping out at me: something about him not wanting the Aussie cricket team to tour Zimbabwe. Since when did he come over all human rights-conscious? Election coming up, is there?
30 - Dr Dreadful
Dave, "Paki" in Britain is a mildly derogatory racial epithet, used against anyone who looks as if they might be from the subcontinent. Might want to think about appropriateness before using that one again.
Just a friendly heads-up!
31 - Dave Nalle
I'm fully aware, DrD. I'm quite familiar with the term and not terribly fond of their performance as bureaucrats based on prior experience. And the key word in your comment is 'mildly'.
Dave
32 - STM
Actually, the term Paki has, in my experience, never really been regarded as just a mildly derogatory racial epithet. It's actually quite serious business, and might even be regarded among some sections of the British population as highly offensive.
33 - Dr Dreadful
highly offensive
Yup. Especially to addressees whose folks were not actually from Pakistan. It's just inappropriate, offensive on the same level that referring to Arabs, Sikhs and anyone else wearing a headdress as "camel jockeys" is offensive.
34 - STM
Or, as they are known in Australia, "towelies".
35 - Dr Dreadful
Yes, Australians are certainly known for their succinct turn of phrase.
36 - STM
That's because it's too hot and we can't be bothered dragging everything out.
37 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
"...the term Paki... might even be regarded among some sections of the British population as highly offensive."
Stan,
Have to agree with you on this. My limited experience with the reactions to this term show your assertions to be true, rather than those of Drs. Nalle and Dreadful.
38 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
I'd ask you to look carefully at the turn the comments have taken here and think about which other group gets slammed with "mildly offensive" terms.
A "much bigger dog" dragged this video in his jaws and dropped it in one of my articles, growling angrily at the Jew who did almost all the talking in it.
The title of the video was "Zionist insulting British Activist and Jesus". A slightly different version of the same video was called "Hebron Settler confronts British Journalists."
The bottom line here is that in Europe and on university campuses across your country, the word "Zionist" has replaced "kike", "sheeny" and "Christ-killer" as the "slur of choice." In essence, the name of the video that MBD bitched and whined about was "Kike insulting British Activist etc."
This means that whenever you see the word "zionist" on an anti-Israel or anti-Jewish website, the word "kike" should come to your head immediately - for that is what is meant.
One of the really nice things about living here, Elvira, is that the only place I see "kike," "Jew-bastard," or "Christ-killer" is on the web.
People who like to keep their teeth do not utter these words in Israel - unless they are Jews referring to the goyim who so.
39 - Howard Dratch
Elvira. I hope you get to take your trip to Amsterdam. The rest of your story is one of the frustrations known world-wide and always a surprise to us, Americans, when we are reminded that we are far from exempt.
The part about not getting to go is pure sadness.
To make your hassles a little less threatening I could tell you about the process of getting an FM3, Mexican yearly visas. The first took a year or more from a bureaucrat in the Immigration office (INM) who did not like: 1. foreigners, 2. men and 3. working -- not necessarily in that order. Now she has been bumped up somewhere. Last year new federal oversight of the agency made the renewal process take 3 months.
Mexico does ask religion, Ruvy. However, with Pancho Villa and Emiliano Zapata in mind, I always say "none", a very proper revolutionary response. For an American it is short for "none of your business" -- a proper American response.
40 - Elvira Black
Many thanks to you all for your great comments. I think what I'm taking away from this is the fact that when bureaucracy rears its ugly head, the result is frustration at best, if not disaster at worst. It all seems to hinge on the particular "person" you encounter at a particular place and time--and maybe even whether they are in a good mood or not; have a personal prejudice or "bone to pick" with certain groups, etc.
This kind of personal "discretion" obviously wreaks havoc, and bureaucracies are also notorious for unaccountability. Combine human foibles with a set of rules which can be bent or applied--or not--depending on the person enforcing them--and virtually anything goes. The same person who may give you a hassle may let someone else go through with no special scrutiny.
That's what haunts me about this incident--the fact that I could get no explanation at all. Maybe because I had my old passport (almost surely expired) packed away somewhere--since it's never a good idea to have a passport floating around unaccounted for. But I guess I'll never know.
Ruvy, your friend Sergio's experiences are chilling--and I'm glad he found American agents much easier to deal with--but again, it seems to me that's just the luck of the draw to a certain extent, and what was hassle free "yesterday" may not be so today..
As to the video you linked to--I read some of the comments from both sides, and I do agree that there is a double standard at work. Arab terrorists are not our allies--and although Israel and its policies may not be perfect, there is simply no way I can see using this incident as an excuse to indict "Zionists" and defend enemies who hate us--Jew and Gentile alike. For any isolated incident such as this one, there are countless other examples of outrageous behavior and actions on the part of our enemies which are beyond excusing on any level--but some do.
Howard, it actually worked out for the best at least in the short run that I didn't go, but if I'd kept to my travel plans I'm not sure what would have happened. In any case, I still want a passport and have 90 days to respond--but noted with some alarm that failure to comply would "result in a delay for any future requests."
Again, what irks me most is that while so much scrutiny is being utilized against American born citizens, there are still dangerous cracks in our domestic security on countless levels 5 plus years after 9/11. The recent incident at Fort Dix is just one example of why terrrorism experts generally say it's not a question of if, but of when, as far as further attacks on the U.S. If it were not for an ordinary store clerk alerting the authorities, these terrorists in our midst might have succeeded in their evil plan to kill as many military personnel as possible. I'm sure people realize that extra security hassles are necessary in this day and age--but it seems as if still and all, those who should be scrutinized more closely can wriggle through the cracks fairly easily.
Stan, what you said about your photo looking different is one of the things that troubles me as well. My passport photo now doubtless looks very different from my first passport photo taken 15 odd years ago, and I can literally look like two different people depending on the way a photo is taken, so all my photo ID's vary considerably. Will the computerized facial recognition technology be able to discern these changes? Will one be at the mercy not just of human caprice, but a machine?
And if humans can be imperfect and unbending, a computer can be even more "illogical" and unyielding. A routine trip to any store with security scanners bears this out. The things beep almost indiscriminately--so much so that often the technology is rendered worthless.
41 - brinkcraven
fascinating and informative article and discussion. it comes at an interesting time since I may be applying for a passport soon. wish me luck, seems like I might very well need it. Ugh.
42 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
On 13 May Ruth Spindler wrote:
My jaw dropped in disbelief when I read this article. Several months ago my husband and I renewed our passports on line with no problems. Within ten days we were issued new passports.
As some of you know we travel extensively and have been to Amsterdam and the Britain's as well as Israel may times.
It would appear this person was singled out for some strange reason.
b'AHAVA (With love)
RUTH
43 - Elvira Black
Thanks Ruvy and Ruth:
My boyfriend actually found my old passport today in a dresser drawer--it is way, way expired--and now that I've got most of my old paperwork over at my new place I will go ahead and submit a copy of that as well as the other documents--though it is very old and I looked a lot younger.
But yes, it is disturbing, and I'm not sure who to approach to inquire about it. I'm pretty sure I'd get nowhere though.
The thought that I was "singled out for some strange reason" is pretty chilling--but trying to get answers out of a bureaucracy? Yeah, right...
44 - Bahama Eva
In response to a previous comment - the national ID card idea freaks me OUT! Bad, bad, bad... But back to the topic at hand - I guess the only thing you can do is make sure you're up to date on the regulations so you're vacation goes smoothly...Happy travels, yall.
45 - Elvira Black
Bahama Eva:
Many thanks! I only saw your comment by chance because apparently my Yahoo e-mail is only consistent in sending me spam rather than my BC comments so I can actually see them and reply. Sigh...
But yep, it probably pays to really plan ahead. I think the Passport Bureau is insanely scrambling to try to get all those last minute rush applications through.
And "National ID card"--just the sound of it sounds creepy, almost Hitlerian somehow.
46 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Elvira,
I don't know if you realize this or not, but if you have a cell phone, some putz from a government agency can literally follow you around using GPS triangulation. That's creepy.
If you think, "national ID card" is creepy, find another name for it that sounds nicer. I know you are a creative writer. The big WASPS running the show behind the scenes in America will thank you (and THEN they'll stick you in one of their detention camps in Wisconsin or something...).
And get the hell out of America! No matter how dangerous it may seem from the Arabs, and no matter how many low culture Israelis there are (or nasty Brooklyn Jews like me), you'll be safer here than anywhere else on earth - particularly in the mountains of Judea and Samaria.
47 - STM
You are lucky Elvira ... I can no longer get into the US without my biometric details (including digital image and all my passport details) being held on file ... including fingerprints, which must be given on arrival. Failure to do so results in refusal of entry to the US.
I would baulk at my own government having those details, but a foreign one! I'm certainly not keen on the US govt having those records (perhaps I've watched too many conspiracy movies), but times have changed and if you wish now to travel to America, it's what you have to live with.
I guess the annoying thing about it is that we are friends of the US (possibly your best friends, along with the Poms) and just on a personal level, I look so bloody anglo. There's no way in a million years anyone could mistake me for an Arab terrorist, even when I've been surfing a lot and have a suntan. Especially then, as my hair goes totally white. And there'd be no doubt what I am when I open my mouth.
Still, when it comes to working out what terrorists might look or sound like, the answer should be: "How long's a piece of bloody string?".
I can understand the paranoia post 9/11, but I don't like it much. Just another thing to blame on those murderous bastards.
48 - Elvira Black
Ruvy:
I knew I shouldn't have given in and gotten a cell phone--not only is it expensive, but now I can be tracked! Though the powers that be would probably be bored to tears at my meanderings, which are mostly just to the grocery and the 99 cent stores and back...
And the idea of a detention camp is bad enough, but in Wisconsin? Oy vey.
The US may be dangerous, but as you can see, "they" don't seem to want me to leave (lol?)
49 - Elvira Black
Stan:
What a pain...do you know how long this has been a requirement? And what are Poms? Pomeranians?
Who knows--they might think you're an, um, albino Arab? Sheesh, what a world.
50 - STM
Elvira ...
Poms = The English (now generic for Brits).
Pomeranians ... lol. They'd really love that.
51 - Dr Dreadful
Where is Pomerania anyway? Somewhere in Turkey?
52 - Dave Nalle
Historically Pomerania was part of north-eastern Germany. I think what was once Pomerania is now divided in some way between Germany and Poland.
As for Poms, I have a theory which is probably wrong. I think it's a misprononciation of the first syllable in the name of Lord Palmerston who was the British Prime Minister during part of the early history of Australia. Any truth to that theory?
Dave
53 - STM
No Dave, but the origins are very obscure. At one stage, people thought that it related to the new arrivals and was an acronym for prisoners of mother England (POME).
That's since proved to be a load of bullsh.t, as it's not been found in any written records.
However, many new arrivals from England in the 19th century tended to be a bit pasty-looking (nothing's changed! :), and their cheeks and faces invariably would get a bit red because of the strong southern sun and extreme heat.
They were thought by the locals to resemble pomegranates, and we think that's how the term came about. Makes more sense than the prisoner theory. The Kiwis also use the term, so that's telling. There is also a quaint name for England, still in common usage: the Old Dart - but used only by Australians and New Zealanders, and no one's really sure where it comes from.
54 - Clavos
Given the history of your original countrymen, the prison in England, perhaps?
55 - STM
Dartmoor? Possibly Clav, that's one to think about ... there's been a theory that ships from America used to come and and go from the River Dart, the first entry to port in south-west England. But this ain't America. The other is that the convict transports used to leave from Woolwich, and would pass on their journey up or down the Thames through Dartford, now part of greater London. It may have no maritime connotation at all.
Who knows. We are a strange mob, I know that ... nearly as mad as you blokes :)
56 - SHZ
Oh my god how many forms, photo's you have to submit to prove, that you are an American and get a passport.
My friend applied for her passport and got it with 2 weeks. She is living in Florida, was born in Ohio, all she needed was her birth certificate and driver license.
57 - Alicia
That blog was very informative because I just received the same set of documents from the passport center today. I was convinced it was fake until I searched on google and found this blog entry, but still I think I'll continue with a little research of my own before I send in all of these things.
58 - Elvira Black
Alicia, it's "reassuring" to know that someone else received the same forms. It is very hard to find any reference to this anywhere. I finally found one reference on one of those passport agency sites where you pay extra to have them expedite your passport application, but it doesn't seem to be well publicized at all.
BTW: I too was hesitant about the matter, but finally sent the info about 10 days ago and just received my passport the other day...
59 - Jim
We just got one of these nasty letters for a young lady who we took legal custody of about 6 years ago. She just turned 18, and has to come up with all of this nonsense??????
She submitted a drivers license AND birth certificate, and now they want a NEWSPAPER ARTICLE about her...seriously, that's acceptable as one of the five forms of ID! ! !
This sucks, in a big way!
60 - Elvira Black
Hi Jim:
Yes, I recall that a newspaper clipping was acceptable, but sounds a bit "hinky":almost as if, if you are "prominent" enough to have something written about you, it might merit further "investigation" lol...
But since she had a driver's license, this seems even more stringent than my experience. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you took legal custody of her; in my case I had to submit my parental units' history/info.
Perhaps some of this is computer generated? (Isn't everthing these days?) Along with the "garbage in/garbage out" phenom...I think at some point they were hiring "outsiders" to process some of this stuff due to the incredible backlog/volume of applications, so inexperience may have something to do with it. Who knows? One of those mysteries that may or may not be revealed later...
Would be interested in how this all turned out!