“Jerry, before we started listening to Rush we were so ignorant we were letting our country slip away from us. Our politicians were passing laws that were giving it up to Liberal Causes, from immigration to taxation, I tell you, we were losing America”
“And, that’s bad because you don’t care for Liberal Causes – is that right?” Springer chuckles.
“Damn straight,” Ditto Heads says and gives Limbaugh a high five.
“Ha,” Springer giggles. “Do you know why you’re here today?”
“To meet our hero – the man himself – America’s freedom crusader,” Ditto Heads says, forty million eyes seeking Limbaugh’s approval.
“Go ahead Rush,” Springer prods, “tell them why they’re here.”
“Well you know,” Limbaugh starts off hesitantly, “you know all that money I make because of you Ditto Heads, there I’ve admitted it, it’s you Ditto Heads who make it possible for me to pull down the kind of money I do - well it’s gone to my head. I’ve developed a sinful nightly habit. I’ve been engaging in Liberal Causes.” (Liberal Causes, Liberal Causes, Liberal Causes.) The studio audience howls so loudly that Ditto Heads couldn't make out what was being said and raised their hand to give Limbaugh another high five. “At night I go out to further Liberal causes,” Limbaugh adds.
The noise subsides and Ditto heads hears Limbaugh’s last statement clearly. Stunned, Ditto Heads stops another high five in mid-air and adopts a kind of Hulk Hogan look, after the Hulkster’s been battered and is now coming back alive, or like a deer caught in a car’s head lights – wide bulging eyes.
“No, no. Say it ain’t so Rush,” Ditto Heads says rising from his chair, his arms flailing, as he circles Limbaugh sitting in his chair. “Rush, you’re the man, how could you do this to us?”
“Now don’t get all bent out of shape,” Limbaugh says, “this is just something I do at night for my own personal pleasure, it has nothing to do with how we are shaping America for your future.”
“Rush, I just can’t believe that you would have anything to do with Liberal Causes – that slut, if I could get my hands on her I’d tear her apart. Rush, tell me, what do I need to do to keep you home at night? You don’t need any of what Liberal Causes has to offer you.”
Article comments
1 - wduff
That was pretty racist. Wow.
2 - Dr Dreadful
Was it? It was thoroughly demented and pretty funny, although I can't really see what the point was, if any.