“Tell me Rush, how long have you been a cross ideologue?”
“Well Jerry, it all started after I became a multi-millionaire ten fold. I started handing out a hundred grand to this and that cause every now and then and getting my Ditto Heads on the radio to match it. I gave to uncontroversial health concerned charities - It felt so good. I wondered how it would feel to donate to Liberal Causes – but I never acted on the impulse. Then one night I met Liberal Causes after a dinner I attended at the White House – the previous White House. Liberal Causes was outside protesting the president’s policy on global warming. I jokingly gave her a little something as I passed her. She winked and slipped me her phone number. Let me tell you Jerry, Liberal Causes are very seductive. I couldn’t get her out of my mind. Liberal Causes was stunningly enticing. I went to see her one night at the homeless shelter two blocks away from the Capital building. I had a couple of C notes in my pocket and I gave it to them. The feeling I got hooking up with her late that night was just absolutely scandalous. I went to my doctor afterward to be sure everything was all right. That was just the beginning. Not only are Liberal Causes seductive but they are highly addictive. It takes the American treasury to deal with this obsession, but I’ve got the kind of money that allows me to dabble in my secret weakness for Liberal Causes. Look, this Ditto Heads thing has evolved and turned big and there I am – king of the radio and now I’m king of a segment of American public opinion.”
“Well, let’s see what Ditto Heads will have to say about all of this – let’s bring them out, please welcome Ditto Heads.”
20 million Dittos Heads fuse into this one burly white man drives onto the stage in a muddy four wheeler with a rifle mount and a deer tracking radar. He is dressed in a green camouflaged suit and combat boats. He disembarks the vehicle with admiration in his eyes. He greets Limbaugh with a hug and a secret handshake.
“Welcome,” Springer says, “you’ve been with Rush Limbaugh for how long now?”
“Hey Jerry,” Ditto Heads says looking out into the audience. “Well, Jerry, some of us are long time listeners, but many of us are listeners Rush picked up during his eight year crusade against Mr. and Mrs. ‘depending on what the meaning is – is.’ Jerry I just got to tell you, Rush is the greatest.”
“That so?” Springer says like a man hiding the hammer he’s going to use to whack you across the face.
Article comments
1 - wduff
That was pretty racist. Wow.
2 - Dr Dreadful
Was it? It was thoroughly demented and pretty funny, although I can't really see what the point was, if any.