Just when I thought the headlines couldn’t get any worse in Detroit, they have. I opened the Detroit News today to find a headline screaming “Judge Tightens Reins on Mayor.”
It appears that the Hip Hop Mayor has been accused of assaulting law enforcement officers when they came for a friendly visit to the home of Hizzonah’s sister. Ayanna Kilpatrick and her husband’s relative, Bobby Ferguson, are also under investigation. Mr. Kilpatrick was present at the home, didn’t like the fact that investigators were there, and decided to unleash a torrent of expletives before “allegedly” knocking over investigator, Detective Brian White. (This action therefore constitutes assault in the eyes of the law.)
As a result of his tirade, Mr. Mayor has had to pay 10% cash on his $75,000 bond, cannot go anywhere outside of the state without prior permission from the court (including business travel) and must subject himself to periodic drug tests. He was also sternly warned that an anger management class might be on the horizon. (Ya think?) All of this was handed down during a public chastisement by District Judge Ronald Giles on Friday.
[Shakes head sadly.] Kwame, Kwame, Kwame…What the hell were you thinking?
First of all, what the heck are you still doing in office? A bigger man with grace and a sense of ethics, with a true love for his city and state (and perhaps possessing a modicum of common sense?) would have relinquished his keys to the Mayor’s Office and the Manoogian Mansion long ago. I personally can’t understand how you can stand on the growing stack of improprieties and innuendo and still keep a straight face.
Second of all, if you’re going to stay and fight for your job, there are a few things you should do. One of them would be to repent and apologize for every misstep you have made over the course of your tenure. Heck, change that to your entire life. Don’t just do it once or twice, say you are “sorry” every time you open your mouth. Maybe if you keep saying it, someone will believe you. Maybe if you keep saying it, you will even start believing it yourself.
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Article comments
1 - Arch Conservative
This guy and Jennifer Granholm should visit Cape Cod so that Ted Kennedy can show them around in his 1967 Olds.
2 - Joanne Huspek
Thanks for the laugh, Arch.
3 - Arch Conservative
Most people in MI don't have much to laugh about these days so I'm glad to do my part Joanne.
4 - Ruvy
Joanne,
Has your county been annexed to my own country that you cannot rid yourselves of this corrupt scum? He sounds like an American version of Olmert or Peres....
Welcome to Israel, Joanne. Can you get Hebrew lessons now that you are part of the corrupt republic of the Jews?
Let's start you with your first word in Hebrew, fitting to the situation you and other Michiganers (crazy people, in other words) find yourselves in.
protéktzya - the emphasis is on the second accented syllable; protéktzya is illegal influence of or protection by government officials.
And your first phrase:
mi abbá shelákh? Literally, "who is your father?", meaning actually "which bureaucrat is providing you with protéktzya?"
5 - maskay
As a fellow michigander I totally agree. He should have left office long ago.
The saddest part is now his lawyers are claiming the prosecuters office changed the text messages.
Must be some pretty bad stuff in the next batch to be released if they are already saying that.
6 - Joanne Huspek
Ruvy, I have a feeling the corruption in Detroit is a deep and mighty river of sludge. It's going to take a lot to clean that mess up. I wonder how they did it in Chicago? New York?
You couldn't make up a story as wild as this one.
7 - Marcia Neil
Actually, influence-networking has infected San Francisco, CA, during the past few decades and the Kilpatrick family bakery was suddenly dis-continued as a suspicious action probably linked with paperwork covert 'vote'.