Noise Annoys

I hate politics. Really hate it. And that is going to make the next 10 months a living hell. For me, politics is like having a rusty sewing needle stuck in your eye. As such, I do not find anything funny about political humor. Having a rusty sewing needles stuck in your eye does not encourage lighthearted jocularity. Oh, I know that given enough time everything is a target for humor, even eyeballs pierced by rusty sewing needles, but the problem is the rusty sewing needle doesn't get removed. It doesn't even heal in place. It keeps getting twisted around every time some heavily coiffed talking head on CNN or Fox asks some weasely politician a question and the weasely politician responds with a weighty-sounding, carefully-rehearsed response that is so devoid of substance it borders on non-sequitor, which is in turn followed by a panel of interchangeable motor-mouths speculating on what it all means.

DIE IN A FIRE. TAKE THE GAS PIPE. I DON'T CARE.

I can isolate myself from this inanity for the most part, except when someone has turned the TV in the gym locker room to one of the 24 hours news stations or when I am with friends who don't share my distaste and covering my ears and screaming "lalalalalalala" would be rude. Not only that, this is the time when otherwise apolitical activities are suddenly imbued with editorialization.

You see, politics is really the only topic that is considered Serious. If you don't harbor strident and righteous political opinions, you are deemed shallow. Actors, musicians, scientists, doctors, professors, athletes, you name it — whenever they feel as though the work they do is not Significant enough, they decide proselytizing about politics is the way to show they are Deep and Important. So they throw their celebrity and/or credentials behind some poorly thought out, small-minded political stances in an attempt to transcend the perceived superficiality of their lives.

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Article Author: David Mazzotta

David Mazzotta is author of the comic novels Apple Pie and Business as Usual.

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  • 1 - Tom Johnson

    Feb 02, 2004 at 12:12 am

    David, your comments mirror mine. I hate politics. I hate what it does to people. One of my coworkers is exactly as you describe - the kind of person who doesn't really seem to have anything of significance going on in his own life and so constantly makes comments about politicians and politics in general . . . all of which are sadly lacking in any depth. He just parrots what he hears others saying. And he'll vote that way, too, which is what scares me the most. But really, I don't care, I just want him to shut up about it.

  • 2 - Adam

    Feb 02, 2004 at 3:10 am

    Okay, maybe I'm missing something, but given that politics are a pretty critical part of any democracy, have you ever thought about actually trying to IMPROVE political discourse instead of just ignoring it? ;)

  • 3 - David Mazzotta

    Feb 02, 2004 at 7:23 am

    I wouldn't mind trying to improve it -- but I doubt anyone would shut up long enough to let it happen.

    I'm sure there is substantive political discussion going on somewhere. But where? I haven't seen anything.

    That's a sincere question. Where?

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