News and Commentary: The Day's News Today Rather Than Yesterday

Part of: Mark My Words

As there is every day, there was news today. But nobody wants to read lengthy papers on why some sick Senator-elect is going to throw the Senate into a tizzy because a Republican governor will appoint a Republican which will make the Senate 50/50. BORING.
I think I've found a seclusion... I mean solution.

  • The incoming Democratic-led U.S. Congress intends to give a hand to dishwashers, fast-food cooks and America's other poorest-paid workers by raising the federal minimum wage for the first time in a decade. Over the next two years, these poor, deprived illegal aliens will see their salaries go up by almost 50%. 50%. Like I ever saw a raise like that. To $7.25 per hour from $5.15 per hour, or about $13,920. No wonder our borders are so porous. And don't you just love the Democrats? They really do care.
  • A sweeping police inquiry on Thursday ruled out a murder conspiracy in Princess Diana's death, saying the chauffeur in the 1997 car crash was drunk and driving at a high speed to elude pursuing photographers. First of all, who's this Diana chick and was she cute? Second, seems to me if some moron is drunk and driving like a... well, like a drunken Brit, and then somebody dies, that's the moral equivalent of murder.
  • 2,500 mallard ducks have died along a creek in southeastern Idaho and puzzled wildlife officials don't have a clue what killed them. First of all, boys, what were they doing along the creek? Was it some nefarious Duck Coven meeting to deny humans their rightful fois gras? Who owned the creek? Was it polluted? Was it, like, the family outhouse? I mean we are talking about Idaho here.
  • South Korea's Ban Ki-moon was sworn in as the next UN secretary general at a General Assembly ceremony during which he vowed to be "a harmonizer and bridge-builder" and build on the legacy of the incumbent, Kofi Annan. I sure hope he's not related to Sun Young Moon or whatever that loony's name is. And if he's as good a harmonizer and bridge-builder as Kofi Annan, bend over and kiss your ass goodbye, kids.
  • Continued on the next page Page 1 — Page 2

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Article Author: Mark Schannon

Crisis/risk/issues management and communications and PR consultant, free-lance writer, aspiring pundit and author. Blogcritics.org asst. ed, politics. Wanted to set world on fire, but bride won't let me play with matches, so I'm counting on upcoming, …

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Article comments

  • 1 - Matthew T. Sussman

    Dec 15, 2006 at 2:55 am

    Somebody gave Schannon bullets. RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!

  • 2 - Dave Nalle

    Dec 15, 2006 at 3:30 am

    Good idea, Mark. Maybe we should make it a group effort and do it daily - on a rotation or as a collaboration.

    Dave

  • 3 - Mark Schannon

    Dec 15, 2006 at 3:00 pm

    Suss, not to worry, they're just blanks.

    Dave...Lisa asked me if I wanted to start a series on this. Alas, yesterday was a great day, but today I'm back in fog city. I'd love to try to make this a series...and there'd certainly be room for guest sharp-eyed news hounds. I just don't know when the fuck I'm going to stop feel so out of it. Who knows.

  • 4 - D'oh

    Dec 15, 2006 at 3:04 pm

    First, get better Mark, top priority.

    Second, it appears that you are now the "alpha male mad howling wolf" around BC, you have big shoes to fill. You are up to it.

    Third, oh yeah....MORE!!

  • 5 - Dave Nalle

    Dec 16, 2006 at 3:13 am

    We all feel out of it from time to time. That's why I suggested sharing the burden around. We could let selected participants take a day each, using the bcpol list. Or failing that we could do a group post covering a week or a shorter multi-day period. The idea is great, but I fear execution of high quality may be too much for one mortal.

    Dave

  • 6 - Mark Schannon

    Dec 16, 2006 at 2:32 pm

    Thanks D'Oh...I'm just a howlin' wolf...when I'm awake.

    In Jameson Veritas

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