Dear Mr. Karl Rove:
I would love a job working for you at the White House, or if you were forced to leave it through any unforeseen and unfortunate circumstances, to replace you with my services.
I have sound electioneering credentials. I've proved myself in managing two successful elections. In the first one, a friend of mine ran for sheriff, and I engineered a rumor that our opponent was a gay with a taste for black boys. In the second election, our opponent was mysteriously accused of being a lesbian with an illegitimate black child that got fathered on her by a colored pimp and that she tried to abort at Planned Parenthood.
In both elections these rumors could not be traced back to me, or to my candidate. In fact, when the media approached me about these rumors, I placed my hand on my heart and said it was a pity that these rumors were around, and even though they might well be true, I for one would never interfere with our free democratic political process, or demean it with such rumors, even though they might well be true.
I have a proven record of telling the right lie at the right time for the good of my country and my candidate, and I know how to cover my tracks and work through paid surrogates. My candidate is always clean.
I think it is wrong to tax rich people because otherwise they won't have the money to give people good paying jobs in our service economy, like nannies, chauffeurs and dog walkers. I believe in the oil industry and that it should be supported at all costs, not only by cutting corporate taxes, but also by starting wars to gain overseas contracts, because it's better to fight terrorists there than here, and for Muslims to die overseas than pro-life Christians on American soil.
Article comments
1 - Aaman
Amazon link, pl.
2 - Nancy
It would be a lot funnier if it weren't already true, huh? Good one, Mr. Ash. I DID laugh.
3 - Maurice
It would be funny (somewhat..) if there was any truth to it. BTW are you referencing Kerry here talking about Dick Cheneys lesbian daughter during the debate? That was an attempt to sway voters but I don't think it worked too well.
It is almost as if you are infering that one party is somehow more honest than the other. Is that the case?
4 - Dave Nalle
I made it through the first few paragraphs thinking that he was going to come out with a punchline like -"It's not a problem that I'm a Democrat, is it? I'll convert like you did if that gets me the job."
Dave
5 - Mark Sahm
If only we could peek inside the White House mail bag, there's probably a hundred REAL letters just like this.
Funny post, Adam.
6 - Maurice
Very funny Dave!
7 - Bennett
Kinda like Spinal Tap to a rock musician, too true to generate more than a nervous laugh.
8 - Aaman
Didn't someone on blogcritics recently apply for the Supreme Court?