I was very pleased the other day when I was able to educate a phone solicitor, a woman working for N.O.W., about the reality of the organization she was promoting. After more than an hour in which she repeatedly commented that she agreed with me, I hung up with a smile on my face and the knowledge that my message of truth wouldn't stop with her. And I do hope she took my advice and found a new job.
Until N.O.W gets it's act together and respects American men's right to equality with the same enthusiasm it has for American women, same sex couples and women in other countries, it really is quite "THEN."
For more information on fathers' and family rights visit the Feminist4Fathers (and mothers) blog.
Ed:LisaM
Article comments
1 - Aaman
I am totally content and a very happy father - I don't need anyone speaking up for me. So this concern is misplaced.
2 - Teri In Cali
Aaman, Are you divorced or unmarried father? Many of them tell me my concern is perfectly placed. Teri
3 - Jeremy Swanson
Aaman,
What is wrong with you? Can't you read?
Teri is not writing in defence and support of "content" and "happy" Fathers. Why would she even need to? But she sure writes in defence and support of me and hundreds upon hundreds of thousands of discontented and unhappy Fathers. And I know we all sure appreciate it.
If I was a content and happy Father I wouldn't be involved in defence of men and Dads in North America either. I'd probably be playing baseball and hockey with my son and taking my daughter to ballet. Or at the very least taking part in the blogging of a completely different topic. Get real.
If you knew even a tenth of the horrors being perpetrated against Dads and the North American family daily by family court you would not be so full of yourself. All I can say is that pray it never happens to you. And pray hard.
You might well be a clueless and insensitive fool yourself but you sure don't speak for me and other Dads either. Teri speaks for me.
Kindest possible regards
Jeremy
4 - Aaman
Even if this article is targeted at a certain sub-section of homo pateris, the viewpoint of a happy father is doubtless of value
5 - swingingpuss
I know of a father who is mentally abused by his wife. They have been married for over two decades. The kids are emotional wrecks due to their constant bickering.
Its kind of amusing to see how powerless or powerful the wife feels depending upon the country they are posted in.
While they were in America she was sure she would get custody of the kids and now that her husband is going back to India she seems to be subdued as in India most of the times the father gets the custody of the children.
Divorces and custody battles can get down right ugly.
Unfortunately in the end its the children who suffer the most.
6 - Purple Tigress
Verbal and emotional abuse requires two to play. Often the other person (male or female) enjoys the negative attention, has invested in playing the victim/martyr and has low self-esteem.
Using a passive-aggressive ploy, the victim gets people to do things.
The children are not messed up because of the mother, but because of the mother and father.
The father has just as much a role in the development of the children. If not, then why suggest that the children should be given to the father instead of the mother at all?
India is not a good example because the status of widows and divorced women--both legal and actual--has been questioned. Why does the husband want to return? He has more to gain and the wife has much to lose. Perhaps their bickering has to do with her relative freedom in the US compared to what might be more acceptable traditionally.
I suspect there are cross-cultural issues that also come into play. This is more complicated than just saying in the US men should have equal rights to child custody.
7 - Teri In Cali
Tigress,
I'm not promoting fathers getting sole custody. Not at all. I believe in collaborative co-parenting and joint physical custody.
Teri
8 - Diana
Why men need support...?
its totally bullshit
Sunita
9 - Lary Holland
I think Teri lays it out clear that co-parenting is the best for children, however the current Judicial Atmosphere thrives on the adversarial nature of the system. The reason is clear, Federal Incentives, State Incentives, and County/Local incentives. Divorce and Custody has become an industry that a lot of money flows readily through. Attorneys profit, States Profit, and County/Local governments profit. The Federal then gains control of the family life, which is typically untouchable by handing out HUGE sums of money for specific state legislation to pass. In the words of Keven Trudeau ... follow the money. This isn't a gender war, the State has just convinced special interest groups that it is, and when the fighting is all over, the State will emerge as the Father of your children, your property, and your finances. StandUpToday by removing the gender bias laws that encourage all the fighting and the money. Only then will the winner be the children.