With a tip-o-the-hat and deepest gratitude to D'oh... although everyone knows his name, although it's not his real name.
Dateline: Santa Verde, a time and place to be determined
In case any of you were wondering, it is virtually impossible to escape news. Here your intrepid reporter is, in Santa (Park Your Butt On Our Toilets) Verde, sipping drinks made from insects the likes of which have never made it north of the border, and still they cascade their stupid news on us as if we were merely rocks and they were a big balloon full of water drawn from a cesspool.
Whew. An example, you demand.
Doing the Potomac Shuffle file: Okay, we know that when someone screws up in the Bush administration — or in most administrations, to be fair — they get great new jobs. But who needs The New York Times to play the game. "The No. 2 job in the State Department is technically a step down from John Negroponte’s present post of director of national intelligence. But the reported return to the foreign policy fold of this former ambassador to Baghdad, and, before that, to the United Nations, has a certain logic to it."
Euthanasia has a certain logic to it as well if you just pronounce it, "Youth In Asia." I mean you may have no idea what it means, but, at the same time, who knew what Negroponte was doing either? And how is going to do any better that the current crop when the best the president can say is "hey, we may not be winning, but that's a lot better than losing." So it fits. One man not accomplishing one job shifted to an area where the administration hasn't a clue what to do. This is why America is great. There are no losers — only bad puns.
The Good Lord Made Me Do It file: Okay, anyone can make a mistake, and it's simply a sign of the arrogance and irresponsibility of the liberal elite in this country that when one of the chosen stumble, they act like it's the end of the world. So a white supremacist is caught with child porn and discovered to be tampering with witnesses (all of whom we believe were older than 21 and therefore not children). Excuse me. There are no liberal white supremacists — strike that, there are no liberal kiddie porners?