Two gonads, believed to have been at one time the testicles of Soviet Leader V.I. Lenin, have made an impromptu speech during a visit to Washington, USA.
"Whilst we are fully aware that the world has changed somewhat since last we hung from the torso of political power, we believe that perhaps the proletariat is ready for to put the mistakes of the past behind it, and to trundle forth into a new dawn of some sort or other."
The revelation, whilst exciting, is hardly anything new. In 1987, British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher appointed her own testicles as Ministers Of Foreign Nationals. More recently, Tony Blair's testicles vanished during a conference in Italy, only to be recovered a fortnight later in a ditch just outside Glasgow City Center, muttering about "The Saudis."
Members of the political elite have gathered to offer unanimous support to the cheerful Russian nuts. "They are as fine a pair of bollocks as I've ever known", said George W. Bush, "and quite frankly I only wish my own balls were so powerful."
Celebrities, too, are pledging their support. Whitney Houston dedicated a song to the testicles during a concert last night in Chernobyl. "I love balls of all creeds and colors," the singer said, "And these balls are among the best I've ever seen. I'd vote for them, certainly. They are truly magnificent testicles."
Richard Nixon was said to be "highly deceased" by the developments.
The Duke resides at Mondo Irlando
Article comments
1 - Mark Schannon
Important and enlightening post. Helps explains what happened during the Battle of the Bulge. Obviously Hitler's balls weren't as big as Eisenhauers.
One quibble. According to John Stewart on "The Daily Show," Bush has enormous, humongous, barely able to conceal balls. I'd put a link to the show, but I couldn't find it on their site.
2 - DrPat
You know there hadda be some reason for his corpse to have a reputation as a marriage charm for Soviet spinsters...
3 - Temple Stark
Hitler only had one anyway. The other was in the Albert Hall.
4 - Eric Olsen
our old samoyed had three, made him really testy
5 - Aaman
Göring has only got one ball
Hitler's are so very small
Himmler's so very similar
And Goebbels has noebbels at all!
And Colonel Bogey Bush says,
6 - Eric Olsen
master of doggerel!
7 - Victor Plenty
Too bad they're not chocolate salty balls.
8 - Temple Stark
I think chef knows more than he's lettin' on
9 - Kat
I wonder what Lenin's balls think of Stalin's single testicle...