6) Katrina caused oil prices to go higher because:
a) of damage to drilling platforms and refineries in the Gulf of Mexico.
b) of damage to pipelines between the Gulf Coast and New England.
c) the Enron Building in Houston will be used as housing for evacuees — and somebody's gotta pay for it!
d) Sorry! "d" has been vetted by Dick Cheney's office and will remain "Classified" based on his claim of "Executive Privilege" — and fuck off if you don't like it!
7) Bush will expedite the investigation into what went wrong with FEMA and the initial federal response because:
a) he wants to protect America from future disasters.
b) he learned a lot about lying, misinformation, distractions, scapegoating, and delays from the 9/11 Commission's inquiry.
c) he wants to blame the local Democratic administrators for everything.
d) it takes heat off Karl Rove/Plamegate, the ongoing disaster in Iraq, and the Cindy Sheehan situation.
8) The future of New Orleans should be determined by:
a) its residents.
b) the Federal Government — which will have to foot the bill.
c) a national referendum.
d) the French Quarter's timely ability to deliver beer, prostitutes, and drunk topless vacationers back on a relatively clean and dry Bourbon Street.
SCORING
add up your total based on the following values:
a = 1
b = 2
c = 3
d = 4
0 - 8 — You're a genius — and you've been watching WAY too much FOX News.
9 - 16 — You're a left-wing socialist pinko who gets most of your marching orders from Moveon.org.
17 - 25 — You're a racist, right-wing, reactionary nut-bar who wears camo outfits, eats undercooked squirrel brains, and attends neo-nazi meetings in an underground Survivalist bunker.
26 - 36 — You're a genius! and you've been watching WAY too many Micheal Moore documentaries.
Article comments
1 - DrPat
No, I swear I cooked them thoroughly! (re: my score and what it means...)
2 - Victor Plenty
Dag nab it, DrPat, I toldja not to feed them squirrels with cow brains! Now ya done got yerself some o' that there mad squirrel disease!
3 - Dave Nalle
I have to appreciate the dualistic nature of the poll, Shark. The structural problem which this creates is that while "a" may be correct in most cases, in question 8 the ultimate correct answer is more likely to be d, with similar possible variations between ideals and reality on some of the other questions.
Dave
4 - DrPat
Yeah, Victor -- but at least I keep my camo clean.
And the squirrels fed...
5 - nugget
shark how long did that take you and how much do you get paid?
6 - Matthew T. Sussman
Better than his recent work ... and I've read even better older stuff ... but the man still reminds me of that kid who, when people are about to stop paying attention to him, jumps up and down improvising a dance yelling "Look at me! I can do THIS!" and everyone turns their heads and awes in his prepubescent innocence.
7 - RJ
Pretty funny.
Unfortunately, I'm now "a left-wing socialist pinko"...
8 - Shark
Guys, nice snag on the squirrel brains. I was hoping someone would do a theme and variations on that one! It's just too rich not to eventually turn into a new network tv show for the upcoming fall season.
Who wants to collaborate?!
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Dave: "...the structural problem which this creates is... yada yada yada..."
Hey, Dave, jeesus, man, it's a friggin' joke, okay?
[shark screaming like Elephant Man: "I'm not George Gallup, I am a human being!"]
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dear nugget,
it took me about ten minutes -- and I get paid NOTHING -- my only 'reward' is having petty, jealous assholes like Sussman follow me around like a kid who, when people are about to stop paying attention to him, jumps up and down improvising a dance yelling "Look at me! I'm a critic! I can do THIS almost as good as Shark!"
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Dear Sussman,
most ironic line of yours from another thread: "Don't feed the troll."
PS: Jealous, ain't cha. heh.