1) Hurricane Katrina was caused by:
a) a low pressure area that moved west from the coast of Africa — gaining power as it moved into the warm waters of the Gulf of Mexico.
b) the Bush administration's refusal to sign the Kyoto Accords.
c) elitist, left-wing blowhards spewing too much empty hot air from the liberal elitist East Coast of the U.S.
d) Pat Robertson praying to God — asking Him to assassinate the President of Venezuela — but God apparently has a shitty aim.
2) FEMA and the Federal Government response was slow because:
a) they didn't understand the magnitude of the destruction.
b) they weren't asked by local Democratic officials until it was too late.
c) they were busy installing Port-A-Potties for the upcoming "Freedom March" celebration staged by the Pentagon in memory of 9/11.
d) the hurricane didn't resemble an Arabian Horse Competition.
3) New Orleans was built in a bowl below sea level because:
a) it was at the mouth of what was then the Mississippi River — and the most important commercial shipping center in North America.
b) the view was great!
c) its Christian founders had convinced the locals that the earth was flat.
d) they figured the surrounding higher elevations would make a good wind-break in the event of a hurricane.
4) The people unable to evacuate New Orleans were primarily:
a) people too poor to afford cars, bus tickets, or other means to leave.
a) dumb-assed, uneducated, unemployable Negroes.
b) dumb-assed, uneducated, unemployable Democrats.
c) wanting to get a free trip to Texas.
5) The standing water in New Orleans primarily contains:
a) feces and trash.
b) toxic chemicals and building materials.
c) dumb-assed, uneducated, unemployable Negro Democrats.
d) about the same stuff as is currently allowed by EPA standards for drinking water that were 'relaxed' once Bush took office.