Justice League: 2005

SCENE: The Oval Office. The President is frantically talking into a red phone on his desk.

THE PRESIDENT: This is the President calling Justice League … President calling Justice League … Come in, Justice League … Where the hell are you guys?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Justice League here. Sorry, Mr. President, I was in the bathroo … answering an emergency call. How can we help you? Gosh, it’s been a long time since you picked up the red phone.

THE PRESIDENT: I’m afraid things aren’t going that well lately. I know you guys helped FDR against the Nazis and the Japanese during World War II. Well we’re at war again against an equally dangerous enemy, and your country needs you desperately.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: That’s why we’re here, Mr. President. What do you need us to do?

THE PRESIDENT: Thank God. I’m at my wit’s end over here. All right, I need Superman, Batman and Captain America to establish a perimeter 50 miles south of Baghdad. Then I need Wonder Woman to …

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Uh, Mr. President, I’m afraid some of the superheroes you mentioned are no longer with us.

THE PRESIDENT: Oh really? Which ones?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Actually, all of them sir.

THE PRESIDENT: No Superman?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: No.

THE PRESIDENT: Batman?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Sorry.

THE PRESIDENT: OK then, plan B. Just have Aquaman round up about 30 whales off the coast of Basra …

JUSTICE LEAGUE: I’m afraid he’s gone too, sir.

THE PRESIDENT: Really? You do still have superheroes in the Justice League don’t you?

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Oh yes sir, we’ve got plenty of superheroes.

THE PRESIDENT: Well, would you mind telling me who you’ve got available, I’m in kind of hurry here; we’re losing about 20 soldiers a week in Iraq right now.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: Well, Captain Bullshit is available, and also …

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