In recent months, the media has covered a group of people who have exposed their homophobia, and another group of people who have revealed their compassion toward the LGBT community.
The homophobic group includes the people who have bullied, tormented and assaulted bullying victims such as Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Billy Lucas, Justin Aaberg, and Raymond Chase.
The compassionate group includes the many people, ordinary and famous alike, who have contributed to Dan Savage's It Gets Better Project.
Dan Savage, a popular syndicated sex columnist who is openly gay, started the online video project in response to the recent bullying related suicides. The idea is to remind LGBT teens that if they stay alive, their lives will get better.
Check it out for yourself- It Gets Better Project.
The people who have added videos so far are a mix of sexual orientations, including some supportive straight people.
Well, this past Wednesday, October 13th, a video was uploaded to the project, and to Youtube from Fort Worth, Texas councilman Joel Burns. His genuine emotion and moving speech in city council quickly went viral.
By Friday, October 15th, Burns was invited to appear on CBS news and CNN.
As of this writing on Sunday, the 17th, at 1:09pm EST, the video has received 1,386,647 hits on Youtube.
I have a theory about why the video went viral. A lot of ordinary people and famous video have contributed videos to Dan Savage's project so far, but there haven't been a lot of politicians. Politicians, more so than some other groups of people, have a lot to lose by coming out gay. Just think of the gay sex scandals that have been covered by the media in the past several years, most involving Republicans.
If a politician has a lot of homophobic constituents, or comes from a political party with a lot of homophobes, coming out can jeopardize their careers. Some of those closeted gay politicians have actually voted for homophobic laws and policies, including issues such as denying people the right to marry those of the same sex, and upholding the American military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Heloise
He is actually my council 'man' taking Wendy Davis' seat after she won for state senator. I should say we, or rather they voted him into office. And I would see him tooling around in his car because it's vanity plate had JD and his name on it.
Maybe the lesson is that when gays make it to adulthood they will find more acceptance in a PC world where the adults play by the rules made by others. Teens don't read the PC handbook and just do whatever. I don't recall his gay lifestyle being an issue or brought up when he was running for office. I did not vote for him but that is not the reason.
Gay bashing is BIG in schools because they are a minority class, not always because they are gay. Black kids catch a hard time when they are in a school where they are a minority...Who says you don't choose your race, religion or sex? I think you do before birth.
Next.
2 - Kim Crawley
Heloise- Homophobia is still a big problem, and it certainly affects adults, the ones you presume must 'play by the PC handbook'.
I don't think people choose their gender or race when they are born, and I'm into ASTROLOGY. Religion is usually something someone can choose by the time one is a teenager or adult. I don't believe transexuals choose their predicament, and they deserve all the help they can get to physically transition into the gender they are on the inside. I don't believe sexual orientation is chosen, either.
I was bullied for being on the autistic spectrum, even though I was undiagnosed at the time.
You're correct in how children bully those who are different. But if you ask many LGBT adults, they will tell you frankly that homophobia still affects them. Adults sometimes commit anti-gay hate crimes against other adults. And many LGBT adults face discrimination in the workplace.
In my country, Canada, people may marry someone of the same sex. I know a few American states have legalized gay marriage, I think Massachusetts is one of them. But gay marriage has yet to be recognized in most of America. Don't get me started about DADT.
Homophobia still affects adults, in all countries.
3 - Heloise
Kim, I'm not stupid just black. I did not mean to imply that adults don't do bullying or are totally at peace with the gay community. I am not that naive, give me a break. I just said that adults are at least aware of "hate crimes" and not to post a voyeur video like the one that the two students shot and posted. Young people have fewer brakes on the amygdala and hormones and that is the main difference.
LGBT folks are everywhere you don't have to look for them. However, I do think it will cause the decline of this country. That's my opinion please respect it.
I DO know that everything is chosen before the soul enters the birth canal. So we are at odds there and I won't argue with your belief or opinion.
I was just expressing that I heard nothing untoward about Joel when he was running and he was elected by a large margin too.
4 - Kim Crawley
I'm glad you didn't hear any homophobic comments about Joel Burns when he was campaigning.
I certainly don't think you're stupid. I don't have to think someone is stupid to disagree with them. I've had intellectual debates with people who have Ph.Ds.
'LGBT folks are everywhere you don't have to look for them. However, I do think it will cause the decline of this country. That's my opinion please respect it.'
Do you think the existence of LGBT people will cause the decline of the United States? LGBT people have existed since the dawn of humanity. There have been civilizations in history who have been tolerant of LGBT people, including the ancient Greeks and many Native American/First Nations groups from this continent.
Please explain to me how you think LGBT people will cause the decline of the united States.
5 - Kim Crawley
Heloise- BTW, I just read your review of The Social Network. I'm about to go and see it now. Great review!
6 - Heloise
First, as an anthropologist I know that 20% of the world's pop is homosexual. It's in the genes or the water. So, they have always been with us. I actually said on a blog post that it was the cultural and societal acceptance of them that will cause the downfall. Why? Because it will grow exponentially and decline in birth rates will follow. I have a classics library Kim. That's where I adopted the name Heloise, from a former life. She was a philosopher and great writer. I studied medieval France and also the Greeks and Romans. The life of debauchery surely led to the decline of Rome and we know what was uppermost on their sexual agenda don't we? Man boy love and gay sex as an integral part of society. In fact the wives knew of their husband's past. It was seen as something the men would do and grow out of and then marry. So where do we get some of the notions we have now that it is ONLY a given thing?
I have already stated elsewhere that it is a choice and a gene. And that's my final answer. It is both and that's what makes it so quirky.
I also predicted that charity giving will fall in the wake of huge giving by billionaires. I was right again, just read an article about it at huffpo.
Thanks, for liking my review. I am a poet first and that informs my writing. Black folks write different from whites and other groups. But no one bothers to study the difference, just quick to judge.
I don't argue with PhDs really, we usually see eye to eye on things.
Heloise
7 - Clavos
I've had intellectual debates with people who have Ph.Ds.
It's not necessary to be either intelligent or intellectual to be a PhD.
I've met plenty who are neither.
8 - Alan Kurtz
Well, all that crap aside, I'd like to be the first on this thread to thank you, Kim Crawley, for introducing and posting this video. I personally avoid "viral videos" as if they truly were a virus; anything that becomes hugely popular overnight cannot possibly be of value, is my take. But I'm very grateful to have now watched this courageous and heartfelt statement by councilman Joel Burns. Thanks for sharing it on BC, Kim.
9 - steve
Heloise, Do you honestly believe by condoning gay sex that it will cause straight sex to decline to the point that the birth rate will fall? Also to suggest "man boy" sex on the same level as two adults in a consenual committed relationship is disgusting.
10 - Heloise
That was a factor in the decline of Rome et al. No, just citing that man boy was as much accepted as regular gay sex among the intelligensia of the Roman/Greek day. I think it was even taught in school, pedagogy for the pedophile. Heloise is full of irony.
Yes, its acceptance, not its fact, will cause the decline, exactly how? Hell, how am I supposed to know?
11 - El Bicho
Heloise is full of something all right
12 - Heloise
I know I know too much. Never argue with an idiot that is unless you are one of them. Then and only then will there be a meeting of the mindless. That's my take. make what you will of it. PS you can quote me el bicho.
13 - zingzing
heloise: "Yes, its acceptance, not its fact, will cause the decline, exactly how? Hell, how am I supposed to know?"
wait. you say that acceptance of homosexual sex will cause "the decline," but you don't know how? then how do you know it will lead to anything? i sincerely doubt that a sudden acceptance of homosexuality will significantly impact anything other than the psychological well-being of homosexuals in our society. it's not like that many supposed heterosexuals are going to suddenly stop sleeping with members of the opposite sex.
"It's in the genes or the water."
it's the genes, heloise... your insanity came from the water though. it was the fluoride. evil soviet plot, fluoride.
14 - Kim Crawley
Heloise- You certainly have a lot more formal education than I do. I respect that you're an anthropologist. I think you aren't questioning your idea- tolerance of gay people= greater proportions of the population not reproducing.
I feel very strongly about racial equality and the civil rights movement. I hate it whenever I see racism. Does that mean that white people won't exist in the future? Racism still exists.
I look very caucasian, so I hear my white in-laws say all kinds of racist shit in front of me. "Those damn 'pakis' keep coming from Toronto to Cobourg beach and they leave their damn garbage here!" my mother-in-law once said to me. (Toronto is very multicultural, whereas Cobourg, Ontario is a small town with a 98% white population, where my mother-in-law is from.) She thought I would nod and agree with her, as she perceives me as another white person, and she thinks white people in general are racist/xenophobic like she is.
I wouldn't put up with her racist bullshit. I told her that Cobourg gets tourists, and that's good for Cobourg's economy. I told her that you can't make generalizations about people based on their race/ethnicity, and that I'm sure other white people leave trash when they visit someplace or another.
I then looked her right in the eye and said, "I'm about 10% Arab, I bet you didn't know that." I made her very uncomfortable. Arabs are supposed to be all Muslim, and all Muslims are terrorists in the making, according to her Islamophobic/xenophobic/racist mindset.
So, no, there is no war between straight people and gay people. Gay tolerance doesn't lead to gay world domination, and to a world where most people don't reproduce. For all of the straight people who become parents 'accidentally', or reproduce because they got married and founded nuclear families, and for all of the gay people who don't become parents, there are straight people who never become parents and gay people who adopt or conceive a child with a sperm donor or a surrogate.
Why can't we all just get along?
Clavos- Yes, I have known at least one Ph.D who is an idiot. [edited] I used to date him. The split wasn't amicable. And I know there are intelligent people without much formal education. I'd like to believe I'm one of them. I got my GED at 26.
Intelligent people can be high school drop-outs, but it's difficult for someone who isn't intelligent to last several years as a post-grad student. And there are intelligent people who are idiots- see my ex [edited] as an example.
15 - Realist
With the irreversible destruction of the economy by out-of-control multinational corporate interests well underway, Heloise believes that it's acceptance of homosexuals that is going to lead to the Great Decline???? She might consider returning that diploma even if it did come from Liberty University.
16 - Kim Crawley
Realist- I hate homophobia, too. And those multinational corporate interests definitely bother me, as well. I'd like Heloise to be tolerant of gay people. She's such a gifted writer here. I wish there was some way to convince her that homophobia isn't necessary for humanity to keep reproducing.
17 - Alan Kurtz
Kim Crawley (#16), you're much too deferential towards Heloise. She doesn't deserve it. And whatever "gifts" she has a writer elude me. Her 2006 Blogcritics contribution On The Charity Road With Bill Gates and Company, which she trumpeted today as "One of the best damn articles ever written on BC," is far from it. (See my comments #8 and #9 thereto.) And her championing of the AIDS genocide conspiracy theory is at least as reprehensible as her homophobia.
18 - Kim Crawley
Alan- I'm glad the people who understand gay rights here outnumber the homophobes. I suppose I would ask Heloise, "what about all the people who have contracted HIV from heterosexual acts?"
I don't think we're going to convince her to question her homophobic beliefs by attacking her.
I was an Ayn Rand loving teenager, once upon a time. I would often run into left-leaning people who would get angry at me. Their anger never got me to question delightful Objectivist/Ayn Rand works such as 'Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal'.
You know what got me to question the supposed beauty of 'free market economics'? Becoming poor, living in deep poverty in my early 20s, that's what did it. Then, socialism started to make a lot of sense to me and I stopped kissing my copy of 'Atlas Shrugged'.
I would love Heloise to join me for a fun romp at the Toronto Gay Pride fest this upcoming June. I'm not going to persuade her to join me in fighting homophobia by attacking her.
I suppose I'm too much of an idealist (unlike Realist, who shares my political views but is less naive than I am) and I think I can convince Heloise with a sound argument.
19 - Desertico
It is all about love and harmony among human beings, it is about evolving to the next level. Bullying someone for any reason is primitive, and whoever does it does it to feel empowered.
20 - Kim Crawley
Desertico- Amen!
21 - ChrisDC
A fascinating discussion. Kim -- thank you for highlighting Councilman Burns speech, and thanks for being a straight friend. Also, thanks for being Canadian. My grandfather always said that your most important friend in the world is the neighbor who is not afraid to tell you when you have your head up your...well, I will leave that quote unfinished, but you get my point.
And, speaking as a gay man, thanks for the respectful tone of your responses to Heloise, despite your (and my) disagreement with many of the things she said. I am convinced that the biggest problem we have in the United States today is the propensity of people on both sides of the political equation to feel that respectful disagreement is a contradiction in terms. It is critical.
To Heloise -- your comments about the Roman Empire struck me as odd, although I have heard them before. I would ask you to check your recollection of Roman history.
An acceptance/tolerance of same-sex sexual activity was a feature of Roman society from the founding of the Roman Republic around 509 B.C. (as it was a feature of the Greek civilizations which preceded it). Rome grew and grew and grew for more than 800 years with that as a definite, but not central, part of their culture.
Their viability as a culture and a government simply cannot be tied to differential levels of acceptance of homosexuality.
Saying that homosexuality caused the decline of the Roman Empire ignores the facts of the historical record.
I do not believe the two are connected, but as an illustration I would point out that, after growing continually for almost 900 years, it was only 30 years from the adoption of Christianity as the official religion of the Roman Empire (with its disapproval of homosexuality) in 380 by Theodosius I until the city of Rome was sacked by the Visigoths in 410 A.D.
I do not think the two things are connected, but my point is that one could actually make a more compelling argument, or note a more proximate coincidence, that Rome did just fine up to the point that they started disapproving of homosexuality and became Christians.
Accepting homosexuality served them just fine for almost 900 years. But it took only thirty years of Christianity and the western half of the Roman Empire was effectively destroyed.
I do not think the two are connected -- do not get me wrong on that.
Oddly, as a Christian (although you might not accept me as such) I would like to think that Christianity did lead to the collapse of the Roman Empire - or at least its western half.
Many people point to the fact that a Roman citizen could travel unmolested from one end of the Empire to another and call that a great achievement.
What they overlook is how that was achieved.
The rule was that, if a Roman citizen was harmed or robbed or hassled in any way, they did not worry about finding the actual guilty party. Instead, the village closest to the incident would be decimated.
That does not mean destroyed, although that is how we use the word today. In Roman times, decimation meant that the entire population of a city or town or a village would be lined up and every 10th person, man, woman, or child would be summarily executed/murdered with their families looking on. (Deci being the prefix meaning one tenth.)
I do not think it is the case, but this Methodist would like to believe that becoming Christians made it more difficult for the Romans to do stuff like that. If that undermined a key Roman security strategy, I cannot bring myself to spend too much time weeping over the fact.
22 - Kim Crawley
ChrisDC- Wow, you understand a lot more about Roman history than I do, thanks for your contribution! I realize Rome's conversion to Christianity was quite brutal, and a lot of people were murdered from public entertainment in coliseums and the like. I kind of thought lead plumbing was the biggest factor, but I don't think historians have settled on one answer that was the cause of the downfall of the Roman empire.
You made an excellent point that survived just fine for hundreds of years while being accepting of homosexuality.
I think Heloise misses the point. Love, tolerance and human rights for one group, be they LGBT people, people with a different skin colour, people without penises, fill-in-the-blank, does not lead to that one group making the other groups just like them. Feminism does not mean 90% of the population ends up being female, etc.
It's a commonly expressed belief among homophobes that there is some 'gay agenda' and that gay people want to 'convert' others to their 'lifestyle'. There is plenty of scientific data to suggest that people are born with their sexual orientation, that sexual orientation in and of itself isn't a 'choice'. There are scientists who are well aware that homosexuality isn't exclusive to humans, and that other mammals have been observed engaging in sexual behaviour with members of the same sex. And many scientists have excellent theories as to why having 10-20% of the human population homosexual or bisexual is good for human survival.
On that note, as I mentioned before, there are openly gay people who become parents via adoption, a surrogate mother, or a sperm donor. There are plenty of openly gay people who have a strong paternal instinct. And there are straight people who never become parents- having a legally recognized marriage doesn't come with an obligation to reproduce, regardless of what some religions may like. There are straight people who get married who value their marriages but who never succumb to a maternal or paternal urge. And there are other straight people who'd rather not engage in monogamy, and would also rather live childless.
There are no hard and fast rules here. There is no one sexual orientation that exclusively leads to parenthood.
I want homophobia to be gone, for the same reasons that I want sexism, racism, and many other 'isms' top be gone.
I know what it's like to be different and bullied accordingly- I'm on the autistic spectrum. And like homosexuality, bisexuality and transexuality- I believe my brain is a part of normal, healthy human variation, not a thing to be 'cured'.
23 - Tracey McKenzie
To All The Editors:
I'm writing this article in hopes that you print it or read it through the
media. Please read and understand how frustrating it was to write it but
open your mind and heart of the reasons behind it.
1 in every 10 children that are born, are born gay, bi-sexual, lesbian, or
a transgender. I am completely upset and fed up with people still being
discrimative towards them. It is hard enough in this world to grow up
without being abused, tormented, or bullied because you are different from
other's.
These kids are not only going through this at school, but at home, on the
street, in careers, and over the internet. It is no wonder the suicide
rate has increased because of this. We as parents are suppose to love our
children, guide them, and protect them, yet it is most parents that do the
most harm to their children.
We love them being born, we love them growing up, but as soon as they say
they are gay, lesbian, transgender or bi-sexual, you stop loving them.
WHAT CHANGED??????
Your proud of them to win awards, your proud of them to graduate from
school, your proud of them for the career they chose but hate them because
they are diffent? Is this Love, protection, acceptance, enjoyment?
Let me point some things out for those who are religious. In the Bible it
states that we are ALL GOD's Children, so if he accepted us to be born,
then why can't the parents and families accept them. Medically it is the
man's sperm that creates the child within the womb. His sperm decides if
the child will be female, male, straight, gay, lesbian, transgender, or
bi-sexual.
The first Bible was written, and Jesus Christ was Jewish. The only reason
that there are so many different religions today is because some people
didn't like the original writings and changed it to suit their needs. The
people that have changed these Bibles to suit their needs only have
brained washed you to believing in what they want you to believe in and it
isn't the word of GOD. GOD created the Earth, he created Adam and EVE, and
he accepted the creation of all that are born to us.
From the beginning, people have been scared of changes and that is why
they are so reluctant in accepting them. All you religious people that are
against same sex sexuality, heritage, race, and cultures are really the
ones that will be judged at the pearly gates. Once God has seen how much
you have discriminated and the hatred you have shown to them, he will not
accept you into his Heaven.
He created different people in this world so we didn't get bored, and to
learn new things. Do you honestly believe that no matter how many times
you confess or go to church then go out and continue what you were
confessing about just to go to Heaven? He will not accept you if you
continuing the same habits unless you change your views and accept those
around you for who they are.
Do you know how many women have gay best friends? They enjoy them because
they love to shop, know fashion, and are honest without. But it upsets the
boyfriends because gay people can over look the sexual needs while they
are helping the woman. In fact, they can get to second base with them when
the boyfriend isn't allowed.
What is so threatening about different people? Change is good in alot of
ways. Discriminating, bullying, abusing people that are different only
hurts you in the end. You have to live with it and have to Face GOD in the
end. There is NOT on career in this world that doesn't have at least one
gay, lesbian, transgender or bi-sexual person in it. Fashion, Authors,
Movies, Radio, Music, Politics, Nurse, Doctor, Television, etc.
ARE YOU HONESTLY GOING TO STOP EATING, WATCHING MOVIES, TELEVION,
LISTENING TO RADIO AND MUSIC, GOING FOR MEDICAL HELP, READ BOOKS, BUY
CLOTHES, OR VOTE FOR PEOPLE THAT ARE TRYING TO RETURN PEACE INTO THE
WORLD?
If you truly love GOD and want to go to Heaven then start loving,
supporting, accepting, and protecting those around you for who they are
not their sexual partners. We all bleed the same red blood, we all can be
hurt mentally, physically, emotionally, psychologically, and sexually. We
all live and die. So why push these people to suicide for an escape from
the harm you are doing to them? You will have to live with their death on
your conscence and you will have to face GOD after you die.
How would you feel if you were them? Being abused, bullied, torchured, and
secluded because of family image, ignorant people, prejudice,
discrimation, and from those that are scared of you and would rather see
you dead then to get to know you?
Acceptance is the biggest obstical and creates havoc. You want a
challenge? Accept those around you for who they are, not what you want
them to be. Always remember that GOD is watching and he will judge you for
all your sins.
A Proud Mother of a Gay Child
Tracey McKenzie
24 - Kim Crawley
Tracey- I'm glad you feel passionately about gay rights.
25 - ChrisDC
Kim,
This is something that people like Heloise, who are not gay, often have difficulty understanding.
I am very happy today as an out, gay man with a partner who recently asked me to marry him (I said yes) which we can actually do because folks here in the District of Columbia figured out that following the lead of Canada is pretty much always a good idea.
But when I first realized that I was gay, I would have done just about anything not to be. I was always the good kid, the one who never upset his parents, always did his homework, volunteered at the church, sang in the choir, and really, genuinely, liked the fact that my entire family was proud of me.
The last thing on Gods green Earth that I would have done would be to choose to be somebody my parents felt embarrassed about. In point of fact, when I realized that I was gay, I tried desperately not to be. Thankfully, that stopped short of a sham marriage, but I did manage to totally ruin two prom nights for female friends of mine who....well, let us just say expected more than I could give.
I prayed and prayed and prayed to be different, and tried everything I could think of to be different, but it did not work.
My grandmother, actually, convinced me to quit torturing myself. She reminded me that all prayers are answered, but that sometimes the answer is No.
And then she gave me a lecture about finding some nice young man, settling down and getting married.
This is something that folks like Heloise sometimes miss, through no fault of their own. Prohibition precludes regulation.
If a society bans something, it basically gives up any chance of regulating it. Opponents of same sex marriage often see it as a breaking of all rules. In point of fact, what we are asking is to buy into, and be held accountable to, the rules that are already there.
I cannot dislike them for making that mistake -- it is something that only a minority of people like me have to actually confront. For the most part, they do not have a hateful bone in their bodies. They just do not understand because they have not lived it. I just wish that they would understand that we are not being who we are out of some need to tick them off.
You mentioned in one your earlier posts that some portion of your ancestry is Arab. Oddly, that likely gives you an understanding about what it is like to be gay. Or at least to be White and gay.
You get to see how people react to you before they know, and after they know -- and I suspect it gives you an understanding of how those two situations contrast with each other.
And, on the autism issue, my own attitude is that, just like me, people who are a little different bring things to the table that other people cannot.
My cousin Raymond Earl (sorry -- I am a Southerner and double names are kind of a tradition) is both profoundly autistic and the most talented graphics artist I have ever known.
I know that you will get how profoundly moving I found it when he made me promise that he would get to design our wedding invitations when we get married.
Understanding interpersonal relationships is often profoundly difficult for autistic people, but somehow, of all my relatives, he was the first to just completely get that Jose and I love each other.
Neat, huh?