Fear, anxiety, and, dare I say it, panic abound in the election-o-sphere these days, as captured in an article in today's Washington Post. The good voters of America are anxiously awaiting the ten plagues of Egypt, Arab hordes swarming over our shores, economic meltdown a la Chernobyl, and really bad acne attacks... regardless of who they support and regardless of who wins.
I personally have experienced this effect as recently as last Saturday night. Two of our best friends — bright, articulate conservatives — sat in our liberal living room, and one erupted in an over-the-top attack on Obama and the mainstream media's playing of the race card. (He later apologized.) And this from a man who thinks McCain has run perhaps the worst campaign since Nero tried to defend Rome with a fiddle and a broken bow.
My friends, relax. Whoever wins — Barack "My, What Big Ears You Have, Grannie" Obama or John "No, She's Really, Really Qualified" McCain — the world will neither come to an end nor be suddenly a brighter, happier place. We may indeed be facing the end of the world as we know it. Retirement will stretch further and further into the distance until it resembles the kind of dreams we had as kids — you know, of becoming superheros or policemen or nurses or serial killers; new diseases will spring as prolific as wildflowers or weeds from our faucets thanks to global warming; America will deteriorate into a third world power as Lithuania, Kurdzbachimysterystan, and a host of other degenerate nations attain global dominance... oh well, you get the picture.
But — and this is an important but so pay attention — none of this will come about because of the new president.
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - Clavos
A real breath of fresh air, Mark, thanks.
Did you check for your watch?
2 - moon
Take out your fiddles, everyone, and look for the closest fire.
When it's out of your hands, it's
out
of
your
hands.
3 - Mark Schannon
Clavos, omigosh, so that's where it went. Liberals don't steal watches...we're (wait for it) timeless.
Moon, couldn't have said it better.
4 - Baronius
Mark, I disagree with half your message (the part about the election's unimportance), but hats off to your defense of fraternity.
5 - troll
politicians must be driven back into the abysmal swamp from which they emerged dragging their rotting professional self-interested government along with them
...either that or they need to find honest work
6 - Mark Schannon
Baronius, so I exaggerate. Satirist's license. Sure the election's important but not as important as the more hysterical of us fear. Despite all the mud being slung on our shoes, both these guys are decent, honorable people who'll try to deal with the mess we're in.
Troll, come on. We elect them, we refuse to let a pol speak the truth about anything, we hide from reality. Social security the third rail, right? Even suggest modifications to SS or medicare & you're toast. Speak out against a war & you're unpatriotic.
We get the government & pols we deserve.
I've met a lot of pols and, to my amazement, liberal or conservative, they're mostly decent people who want to do something good. We have to change the system, maybe even, gasp, the Constitution (an article I've got to write when my brain can approach it without exploding), and we have to admit that we, the people, are a significant part of the problem.
And that's the truth, for, as you'll remember.
In Jameson Veritas
7 - Baronius
Mark, I meant that comment as a compliment.
8 - troll
bah - a pox on all their parties...underneath their do-gooder shells are universally reptilian souls
...but I've been known to exaggerate
9 - moon
I don't see any do-gooder shells, troll. Never have--probably because I am not so stupid as to expect to see them?
You need (new) glasses.
10 - Mark Schannon
Baronius, I understood, but I also agree that I overdid the election not being important. & I appreciate the applaud for fraternity.
Troll, well done exaggeration is at the heart of satire. And you got something against reptiles? Some of my best pets have been...forget it.
Moon, I don't disagree that the more you look at politics--everywhere, not just in the U.S., the more your gorge distends (if that makes sense) but one can exaggerate to the point that the exaggeration becomes truth. If we can't find the decent, the honest, the good among the trash, we'll never find a way out of this mess.
I'm almost an old fart...well, maybe already one...and I've been a 60s liberal forever. But my career in business forced me into close association with them ultra-conservatives. I found, to my amazement, that, despite our disagreements, there were lots of decent, honorable people among them.
Of course, there were a lot of scum bags, but haven't you ever met a liberal or ultra-lefty scum bag?
The more we demonize, the more we fantasize. (Stupid, but I couldn't think of another rhyme.)
But that's the truth...because...
In Jameson Veritas
11 - AXJ
AXJ would agree with you only if Mr. Obama proves to the American People he was indeed born in the USA...from the evidence so far it does not appear to be so...no birth certificate NO PRESIDENCY.
12 - Mark Schannon
AXJ, now see, this is what I'm talking about.
Relax...his birth certificate has been displayed and verified. He's American. He's Christian. He's a helluva basketball player & a lousy bowler. He smokes! He probably even drinks Jameson Irish Whiskey.
13 - moon
Mark:
Show me just ONE do-gooder among the pols--who is NOT Jimmy Carter--and I will eat my words.
Until then, as I am happily a member of Slow Food I am going home now to cook up yet another fabulous feast from fresh local ingredients selected at their peak.
No rotten propaganda on MY plate.
14 - Mark Schannon
Moon, I hope thy knife is sharp & thy fork is clean. Prepare to dine on thy words...
Wait a minute, thou trickster, oh ye American in a serape, we never defined do gooder. If James Earl Carter is your sine qua non, then we're probably in trouble. I you mean someone with a Miss Lilian White Past, then even Jesus of Nazareth would have a tough time qualifying.
If you mean someone who doesn't play political games, then it's a trick question because that person would never have been elected. Show me one country in the world (that isn't a dictatorship) where do-gooders get elected without being skillful pols & forget eating my words, I'll move there.
But, fool that I be, I shall take the challenge, even in this weakened state, bedeviled by cruel brain cloud and ignominious, ignos, igno...see how my rhetoric machine doth forsake me. Shit.
O.k., Ted Kennedy. If you mention Chappawhatsis or any of his personal quirks, all bets are off. The man has fought the good fight for liberal causes all his life.
Rep. Rosa DeLauro, D, 3rd district, CT. A daughter, literally, of the old Democratic machine in New Haven, she's been a tireless fighter for causes you'd approve of.
Sen. Chris Dodd, D, CT (my home state, so forgive me for focusing on what I know best.) Another good liberal who's been a great friend and ally for fair and respectful treatment to South America.
Barney Frank--come on, you gotta give me this one. Early out-of-the closet, powerful advocate for economic equality of opportunity, education, etc., etc.
Rep. Chris Shays, R-CT: This guy's so good, voters from all sides elect him over and over again. You can't find a sentient Democrat who'll run against him.
I could list a lot more had I the brain power, but these are people I admire, respect, and, yes, trust...as do gooders...if you mean folks who actively seek to help average citizens, who aren't totally beholden to corporate influence, who fight the good fight.
In the last analysis, pols are simply us distorted large. They have the same faults, idiotsyncrasies, and evil demons that plague us all. If you expect pols to be pure, of course you'll be disappointed, but are you pure?
And, pardon the dig, but as for your dinner, hand picked from all the fresh local produce, what, you think we ain't got organic farmers' markets littering the countryside here in the US of A? We can get all the fresh produce we want. As for me, I'd rather have a hamburger.
So there?
Curmudgeon-At-Large
In Jameson Veritas
15 - moon
Considering that you consider good food to be McDonald's garbage mystery meat, I am not surprised that you couldn't come up with a single do-gooder in the political sphere.
Guess I will continue my extremely healthy diet of Slow Food.
I am off to buy chile ancho, chile guajillo and comino for tomorrow's slow-cooked brisket with carmelized onions and butternut squash.
Eat your heart into the Intensive Care Unit.
16 - Mark Schannon
Ah moon, I'm disappointed. Not a single do gooder in my list? Spend less time assuming I go to McDs (I don't) and more time evaluating what you mean by "do-gooder" and whether any of my picks fit that category...or could anyone fit that category.
I suggest...and wait for your rebuttal...that your argument is circular. Define a do-gooder politician in impossible terms and then condemn US pols for being jerks.
By the way, you continue to avoid my suggestion that politicians in, say, Mexico or other countries, are no better than ours, and in some cases, just as bad or worse than our most corrupt.
So there...and remember,
In Jameson Veritas
17 - moon
1. You mentioned the burger, not this poster.
2. I have never confined my contempt for pols to the US. There are many classic candidates for the title of Most Corrupt Cynical Pol of All Time here in Mexico.
3. A do-gooder is one who actually does good, without having the agenda of personal power. Carter was not a do-gooder while in office, but became a do-gooder later. Nothing circular about it.
4. It appears that YOU are, in fact, the one making assumptions. In this case, about the amount of time I have dedicated to thinking about pols.
I haven't heard "so there" as a debate point since second grade. Thanks for reminding me how singularly skilled at debate grade school kids were and are....
18 - Heloise
Hey Mark I just invoked the plague and Moses before I read this, coincidence? You must be for Obama...smart move.
Heloise
19 - Heloise
Mark you forgot to mention that millions of Chinese are going hungry and plants shutting down as Americans wean themselves off of spending money they don't have. What or who will the Chinese eat if they have no resources?
H
20 - Cindy D
Heloise,
What would you think of a teacher who told a student that the job of Vice President is to be in charge of the Senate?
21 - Heloise
I was about to read that, but didn't, I was about to laugh at Palin but didn't, I was wondering where she got that from: not this teacher. I think it should be that the VP presides over the senate, that's without looking it up.
Listen, teachers are stupid...I didn't say that. I can barely talk to them because they're not too bright. For example I mentioned something about Hillary Clinton during the primaries and a long time social studies teacher said "I don't give a care what the Dems think or do?" Huh? Aren't you a social studies teacher? I asked and as a SS teacher it's her job to keep up with Dems and GOPs.
She was white, a Republigrim. I told her "they won't care what you do either when they win the WH." We used to be friends but that comment made me realize she was just another stupid redneck blinded by her whiteness.
Heloise
Sorry, no offense to white people. Some of my best friends ARE white...not kidding.
22 - Cindy D
LOL Heloise,
Sorry, no offense to white people. Some of my best friends ARE white...not kidding
ROFLOL
So...presides over the senate.
In practice, freshman senators are traditionally assigned the role of presiding over the Senate in order to learn Senate procedure.
I think why she said it is she heard she would be "President" of the senate and figured she would be in charge. But her natural lack of curiosity didn't propel her to actually find out (or maybe pay attention) after that.
I seriously believe that she has that little understanding of government.
23 - Heloise
I know they break ties during a vote. But that would mean that they would have to attend senate meeting or be abreast of what's going on. So, I am surprised that "presides" is not one of their duties. I warned you I didn't look it up. When I was president I didn't give a crap what the VP did as long as he was out of my hair.
Basically a VP is a lame duck or a good fuck, whichever comes first...:O...they truly serve @ the president's pleasure. That means that W had Cheney do all the damn work! No. W was "The decider."
I am surprised that means they have virtually NO DUTIES if they are merely tie breakers.
Anyway, in my article "I Know Why McCain Picked Palin" that Palin's "What exactly does a VP do?" Line will go down in history. And it did. She said today, look it up on Huffpo, and elsewhere, that she said that the VP actually RUNS the senate! And can make changes. I thought that "presides" was inocuous enough but damn, she said they make policy and RUN IT...
You ROCK Sarah, now go run...three miles.
Heloise
24 - Heloise
"...Senate and does not usually preside over the Senate" from Wiki...
It actually says "not usually" preside...It does not say that they absolutely DO NOT preside. So, it means that if they call the VP out of the VP water closet and say "get your arse down here!" Then he/she "presides" over the Senate and is also the President of the senate. As everyone knows presidents have no power...just kidding.
Oh, yes they do "preside" over Ta Da: "As President of the Senate, the Vice President has two primary duties: to cast a vote in the event of a Senate deadlock and to preside over and certify the official vote count of the U.S. Electoral College." They freakin preside over the electoral college--to certify the official vote count.
So, why isn't Gore president? Only God knows.
I think it is all a fancy way of saying that VPs are naked senators! More Heloispeak...
H
25 - Cindy D
Heloise,
You need to teach those kids at your school (like all schools should) to stop asking Vice Presidential Candidates "gotcha" questions.
Who the hell does that 3rd grader think he is?