Once in a while, my White House poetry group leaves behind quite a mess. Yoga mats strewn across the floor, dropped pens, scraps of paper.
Once I found a note from the President to the Secretary of State telling her that he had to go to the bathroom really really bad.That was an odd day in many ways because the Secretary sat throughout the session in her black leather coat and high boots right in front of the President while everyone else was complaining that it was too hot in there.
Another time, Dick Cheney had made spit wads out of his angiogram results and was shooting them at Donald Rumsfeld then taunting him with “How are those smart bombs doing lately Donnie?”
Richard Perle threw a paper airplane one day that bore the following, “I can’t believe the government paid 15 million dollars each for these in a no-bid contract and all I got was this lousy t-shirt!”
It’s usually not that bad though. The group’s been a bit off since Scooter got indicted and Harriet Miers had to come back to the White House to help the president pick his next nominee for the Supreme Court.
Last week, I was cleaning up when I came across a set of materials from another class that apparently meets just after my poetry group. I phoned my friend and patron at the White House, Karl Rove to see what was up.
"Karl I think I found something that might be yours.
KR: I know nothing, I see nothing, I hear nothing.
CL: Colonel Klink might not need to know about this.
KR: Please, please, don’t tell the Colonel. I have children.
CL: Are you guys taking another class in the White House basement?
KR: Who wants to know about the ethics class?
CL: You know Colonel Klink’s father Otto Klemperer’s recording of the Pastoral is still the best recording of Beethoven’s Sixth? What’s with this Hogan’s Heroes thing anyway?
KR: Alberto Gonzales was in ethics class yesterday and did an oral report about how Guantanomo was really just like Stalag 13. He even quoted Michelle Malkin a bunch of times and you know she’s really smart and says the Japanese internment wasn’t such a bad thing either. Maybe they’ll make a sitcom about Tule Lake one of these days.
CL: Does the attorney general know who killed Bob Crane?
KR: I know nothink, I see nothink….
(I think the Deputy Chief of Staff would be much better liked by Blue staters if he’d let them see a bit more of his offbeat sense of humor. You know he was joking when he said that liberals just wanted to arrest people and seek therapy after 9/11. The liberal press never shared his punchline which was “We just invade a completely different country and let the guy go instead.”)
Article comments
1 - Nancy
That the WH feels its people could benefit from a 1-day quickie ethics class is pathetic, horrific - and hilarious. If these grown men & women don't know right from wrong (or legal from illegal) here & now without any prompts or cliff's notes, they shouldn't be working in the WH. Talk about shutting the barn door after the horse has gotten out.
2 - gonzo marx
oh Nancy...
the class was just a refresher to make certain they could all SPELL ethics correctly...
i heard the Shrub's first answer was "ethics?..isn't that how Daffy Duck says Essex?..ya know, that place in England..."
but i digress...
Excelsior!
3 - chancelucky
Karl did tell me that a bunch of them were cheating on the quizzes, but since he didn't have direct proof he had to pass all of them. Something about DicK Cheney and Tom Bolton creating a diversion in the hallway while the real culprits stole Karl's answer key off the top of his desk. Obviously, there was no crime, because he only caught the two who covered it up....so what's he going to do?
4 - chancelucky
Lumpy,
I think they're saying that instead of the ethics class, they need to get rid of the ehtically-challenged members of the administration.