(A modified version of this post first appeared at my site, ingrown brain stem.)
First there was "What Sucks, copygodd?". Then there was the sporadic appearance of "Who Is Smarter Than Whom?. Now, I'm proud to introduce the next big gimmick here at the stem: "What Would copygodd Do?". Here's how it works: You ask me a question and I tell you what I'd do.
Of course, since it's a brand new bit, nobody's had a chance to ask a question yet. So I'll start off with one from my good friend scoop newsworthy over at Tinfoil Hat Pundit.
Q: Even before September 11, illegal immigration was a serious problem. But now our porous border is no longer just a source of cheap labor; it's also a matter of national security. Since the federal government refuses to fulfill its constitutional duty, citizens' groups such as the Minuteman Project are taking matters into their own hands. Given the chance to fix the problem of illegal immigration, what would copygodd do?
A: Good question, scoop (if that is your real name). As I see it, the two biggest obstacles to fixing the immigration crisis are documentation and deterrence. The illegals aren't documented, which makes them hard to find and deport. And there's no real deterrent to keep them from returning when we do deport them. To fix the documentation problem, the President has offered up his "It's Not Amnesty Because I Say It's Not Amnesty" Amnesty program, wherein he'd grant amnesty to all illegals who are here to do the jobs that "Americans won't do", ie pick lettuce, pick fruit, etc... To fix the deterrence problem, he's offered up nothing.
Here's what copygodd would do...
First off, I'd go ahead with the initial stages of Dubya's “INABISINA” Amnesty program, and tell all illegals to come in on a certain day and we'll give them documentation. Then, when they show up, I'd cut off the index finger of their right hand and deport them. Not only will this serve as a pretty strong deterrent against their returning, it will also make it easy to spot them if they do decide to break the law and sneak back in to the country. Plus, the legal aliens (with whom I have no problem) will always make sure they have their identification, for fear of having a finger chopped off and being deported.
.jpg?t=20120527181101)
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - SFC SKI
Outside of a few minor points, I think you are onto something.
2 - Big Time Patriot
"it's also a matter of national security.""I'd cut off the index finger of their right hand and deport them."
Not bad, and any time a President starts a war which INCREASES our odds of being attacked by terrorists, I think we should chop off his whole hand, after all, if he does it a couple of times, he won't be able to sign any more executive orders will he?
3 - SFC SKI
I am sure that the original tone of this coulumn was satirical, but since you reexamined the national security issue, BTP, do you think that there is not a problem with hostile agents crossing our borders, and are you not aware that there have been documented cases of this occuring since before this administration? I might add apparently fewer successful ones since Pres Bush took office, too.
4 - Sean
IIPR's 12 Step Program For Ending Illegal Immigration
Upon reporting, they would be photographed, fingerprinted, and generally hassled considerably less than your average air passenger or gun buyer. They would be told to return home and file a formal request for legal immigration. The earlier they show up the more favorably they would be considered for a green card. Make the selection process on the basis of what kind of skills or background they "bring to the table".
For those who choose not to report to the INS, and are later apprehended, they will be deported and put on a Persona Non Grata list never to be allowed entry into the US again - for any reason.
5 - Eric Olsen
hmm, draconian, rather bad for international PR. Might be a few civil liberty issues involved as well: the courts have found even illegal aliens have some rights. Sean, why do you withdraw from NAFTA and WTO? Is the illegal immigrant problem worth sabotaging our economy?
6 - copygodd
as always, my tone was indeed satirical. but only to make a point about how complicated, and undecided, i am about this issue.
i know something has to be done, and i know the "inabisina" amnesty program put forth by the president is a bad idea, but after that i'm lost.
i was just hoping this would spark some good discussion about realistic ways to deal with this problem.
maybe citizens' groups such as the minuteman project are the way to go, since to this point, the government appears to be unable, or unwilling, to address the issue.
7 - Eric Olsen
they have succeeded in focusing attention on the problem
8 - Sean
The sabotage precedes me.
“Despite the smaller monthly trade gap, the annual deficit remained on track to surpass last year’s record of $496.5 billion. ” That’s our money pouring out of this country. That’s what Ross Perot called “That giant sucking sound".
A Reuters story from 7/2004
I'd recommend you visit the Economic Policy Institute to see the extent of the damage in terms of trade deficits that NAFTA has enabled. Here's a quote:
U.S. NAFTA trade deficit surging again
Since the U.S. entered into the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) with Mexico and Canada, the trade deficit with these countries has grown rapidly (see chart below). U.S. firms moved plants to Mexico and Canada to take advantage of lower wages and new rules providing unheard of levels of protection for foreign investors. The combined U.S. trade balance with the other two NAFTA countries (the difference between U.S. exports and imports) was a small, stable deficit prior to NAFTA. Since NAFTA that combined deficit has grown rapidly. U.S. imports have been growing more rapidly than exports, so the trade deficit has expanded. When the growth of this deficit eased in 2002, some claimed that U.S. trade with China and other lower-wage countries was displacing NAFTA trade. Contrary to this view, the U.S. NAFTA deficit has increased 12.2% so far this year, evidence that deficits with Mexico and Canada are a continuing drag on U.S. growth and job creation.
My main contention at IIPR.COM is that you can't fully understand the illegal immigration issue without understanding our current (detrimental in my view) trade policies.
The ultimate goal of the Free Traders is the elimination of all borders and an end to sovereignty for the sake of improving trade benefits.
When goods and services flow freely across countries without restriction, labor costs, will find an equilibrium, lower for AMerican workers and higher for workers from Latin America. That means you may lose your high-tech job to India, or your low tech job to illegal aliens, and your children will face murderous competition for mind-numbing low-tech jobs because our elected representatives have made it profitable to to move jobs offshore.
I believe in the end, non-reciprocal free trade will have distributed our wealth elsewhere and we will become an unrecognizable, dusty, aging, overpopulated welfare state which produces little and consumes much. I see a society of the beneficiaries of free trade - stockholders, and the "worker bees" as they say.
I have nothing against Latin Americans, but I have real problems trading the financial future of America for short term economic gains by P&G, HP, GE, IBM and a host of other companies who no longer consider themselves to be American companies, but world companies.
9 - Richard Porter
The first step to even begin solving this problem is to protect our borders more efficiently than what has been done in the past. The Mexican border alone is a gateway for not inly illegal immigrants but also for terrorists as well. I believe I read that the U.S. is now using unmanned drones to patrol the borders. The President has to take advantage of the National Guard and begin using them more effectively.
10 - SFC SKI
I'd like to point out that more explosives and terrorists have been picked up at the Canadian border than the Mexican one. Both need a greater focus. Canada has lax immigration laws, and we tend not to look in that direction when assessing threats.
11 - Richard Porter
Absolutely on the mark SFK SKI! Look I have been a big supporter of the President on most issues except this one. He has not done enough to protect our own borders.
12 - Eric Olsen
agreed
13 - Mark Schannon
Just a thought, but if you just shoot them, they won't be a problem anymore. We could take the money we're saving and buy more body armor to help our boys & girls liberate Iraq -- just as soon as they beat back the bad guys who are now attacking en masse.
14 - Sfc Ski
Wrong Mark, we ship the illegals to IRaq and offer them US citizenship if they win.
15 - Mark Schannon
I stand spectacularly corrected. Sfc Ski, I bow, scrape, & abase myself.
Rats...why didn't I think of that?
16 - Eric Olsen
but what about the arming/disarming issue?
17 - Richard Porter
How about a free gun license with every citizenship?
Okay that was a bad joke...try the veal!
18 - copygodd
canada? how could i forget the great white north?
aren't they french? or at least frenchish...?
19 - DrPat
SKI, YOU ROCK!! ship the illegals to IRaq and offer them US citizenship if they win
In one fell swoop, you have solved the illegal problem, and brought more of "our" boys home! Plus, there will be no need to have a draft. Really, genius!
20 - Sfc Ski
Well, If the plan works, I will be available for the 2008 elections.
21 - copygodd
dang. that's way better than my plan.
22 - Shark
The immigration problem will solve itself. We'll soon have no jobs available in the ol' U.S.A.
Then we give every Mexican a rubber raft and a map to China.
~NEXT!
23 - gonzo marx
hurm..i dunno..
as pleasing as the finger bit could be..it seems just a wee bit...harsh
howabout we take a page from the wildlife folks...and collar/tag them when we catch 'em...mebbe even shock collars like they use to train dogs for "invisible fences"
on a more serious note..one of my problems with the southern border security issue..
when they catch them, they hold and deport the mexicans back over the border...ALL THE REST of the Nationalities are turned loose on their own recognizance and told to report to the INS within two weeks..
anyone else see the problem here?
Excelsior!
24 - Dave Nalle
I think you're on to something there, Gonzo. While playing disc golf I discussed this issue with an arch-leftist friend, and he came up with the idea of implanting all the ones we catch with micro chips like they do with dogs at the pound, so we can just track them down the next time they come across the border. Or even better, tell the Mexican government no more economic aid unless they implant all their citizens with tracking chips.
Dave
25 - gonzo marx
Dave sez...
*I think you're on to something there, Gonzo.*
OMG!!
2 in one night..!!!
i think i'm gonna faint...
there may be Hope fer ya yet Dave...i'll just have ta keep spewing my madness across the aether...
we might make a mammal out of ya yet!
or at least something warm blooded with multiple chambers in yer Heart...
to quote Triumph the insult comic.."i joke..i keeed...Dave is a good Republican...
for me to poop on!"
Excelsior!