It had to happen. Living upside down all these years has finally confused the Aussies beyond redemption. In today's The Australian News, on the goddamn front page, was a story titled, "Hillary too sexy to win back the White House, screen siren says."
Who's the screen siren? Sharon "Plastic is a Girl's Best Friend" Stone, best known for the crotch shot of the century in Basic Instinct and who, at 48, is about to go totally nude in the sequel — I guess they didn't get it right the first time.
Sharon Stone? I will admit I liked her in that underwater thriller with Dustin Hoffman... she actually showed some acting ability. But who gives a flying dustbroom what she thinks about politics?
Ms. Stone comments, "I think Hillary Clinton is fantastic, but I think it is too soon for her to run (for president)," Stone said in the latest edition of Hollywood Life magazine. "A woman should be past her sexuality when she runs. Hillary still has sexual power and I don't think people will accept that. It's too threatening."
(Well at least the Australian Koala Gazette didn't interview Stone directly. I read Hollywood Life every day. It's where I turn for the best inside politics journalism.)
So it's too soon for Senator Clinton to run because her sexual power will threaten people. Have more idiotic words ever been spoken? Of course. But rarely have they been published.
Now, Madonna, quoted in the same article, is someone we should pay close attention to... if we could ever take our eyes off those cone-shaped breasts of hers. (I wonder if she got the idea from the "Coneheads" on Saturday Night Live?) Plus, Madonna studies the Kabala, the Jewish answer to astrology, so we know she's got inside information. (I'm Jewish, I can say that...so there.)
Article comments
— go to most recent comments1 - JP
I touched on your question "Why do people listen to actors about politics?" in a post on Blogcritics previously - I don't think it's entirely looney, I think they have a different but valuable view to offer.
At least you say "even liberal actors.." rather than "don't listen to them, they're liberal!" so I don't have to berate you with all the wet noodles in my arsenal.
But then, I'm a little strange too.
2 - Mark Schannon
You might as well listen to your barber or baker or candlestick maker. Just because they're actors doesn't mean they've got anything interesting to say...unless a writer puts it in their mouths.
In Jameson Veritas
3 - dr Urkel
Madonna just broke 2 world records by having the number one album in 41 countries and the number one single in 40 countries. So screw you haters!!!!!!!!!
4 - Mark Schannon
Urkel, it's satire, it's supposed to be funny. And I wasn't all that harsh on Madonna. I loved those cone-shaped breasts.
Stop taking everything so seriously or your pecker will fall off.
In Jameson Veritas
5 - Ruvy in Jerusalem
Now that is a good topic to write about, Mark. People who take things so seriously that their pecker has fallen off. A few interviews with the peckerless unfotunates, and how they deal with discrimination against the "pecker deprived" set...
How could you possibly go wrong? Maybe you could get George Bush or Ehud Olmert for interviews? Or are they missing their brains? You know, I could never tell one end from the other with them two... Anyways, there's a whole pack of bleeding heart liberals out there who need a new cause to bleed about...
Go for it
In bullshit veritas
6 - Mark Schannon
Ruvy, just remember I'm one of those liberals, but I don't bleed. My heart is made of stone. Rock, solid stone. Doesn't beat so well, but at least it doesn't bleed. I'm the knee jerking kind of liberal.
But...it's a great idea for an article. I may work on that. And, sir, no comment yet on the article I sent you about "you know Who?"
In Jameson Veritas
7 - gonzo marx
oh Mark me boyo...once more into the breach, eh?
fair enuff, and a good smile gotten from it
one quibble tho...about actors and such, you are correct in that their Opinions are equivalent to the butcher, baker or candlestick maker
and that's not a bad thing
it's doesn't mean they know anything more than the rest of us
but it also doesn't mean they know any less
just a Thought
(BTW...you owe me a Topic fer our "debate")
Excelsior!
8 - Mark Schannon
Gonzo, you're back!!! Having made the idiotic mistake of volunteering to be an editor, it's getting hard to post and comment, & I've missed your unquenchable insanity and perspecacity (forget spelling.)
What gets my gall bladder twitching about actors is that they use their celebrity status, which is worth about two turds in a turkey, to get access denied to the rest of us...unless we have barrels of cash.
And I'm thinking about the debate topic...don't know why my brain won't come up with anything. You could help, you know.
In Jameson Veritas
9 - gonzo marx
heh...fair enuff...
i've been thinking of two different Topics...
Politcal Epistemology
and for a new Political Party right here on BC, platform and all
we will see
Excelsior!
10 - Mark Schannon
Hmmm. Political epistemology. Epistemology is the study of knowledge...how do you apply it to politics...except for the startling lack of it we find today?
As for the new political party, the debate will quickly degenerate into who's going to be Emperor--you or me...with both of us arguing it should be the other, which, now that I think about it, could be a riot.
Maybe that's the debate: I take the side of "Gonzo should be emperor." and you take the side of "Mark should be emperor."
Phew.
In Jameson Veritas
11 - Victor Lana
Mark, you deserve some kind of prize for "best title" or something. Hillary and Sexpot? Hilarious. The only more incongruous title I can think of is "Bill Clinton, Celibate."
12 - JP
No Victor, it'd be "Bill Clinton - Our Next Pope." Or "George Bush - Vigilante for the Little Guy."
13 - Joey
I'd do 'em all! Especially Hillary.... mmmmm Hillary.... is there a birth statue out there I can get a preview?
14 - Arch Conservative
Hillary is about as sexy as Ted Kennedy in drag.
15 - troll
finally the conversation settles in on my level...as I have reported before Ms Hillarity has no belly button - or so I have been told
hardly a sex pot - !
troll
16 - Victor Lana
Arch, that vision of Ted (I Swim Real Good) Kennedy is very disturbing.
17 - Jet in Columbus
Yeah, thanks a lot Arch the con man. Like a bad song stuck in my head, that picture gonna be hard to exocize.
Tell me, just how often DO you think of Ted Kennedy in drag? Something you're not telling us?
18 - Mark Schannon
Now, now, we're getting downright mean. Archie, the next time you have an image like that, keep it to yourself. I agree with Victor & Jet, that's one image I'd prefer not to have pop up in my brain from time to time.
Troll, I remember that comment before about the Good Senator from New York's lack of belly button. We don't want no pod people round here, la di da, la di da.
And Victor, by the way, I'll the award in pure dark chocolate, please. Thank you.
In Jameson Veritas
19 - zingzing
oh, every time you think about a.c./bing, don't you always think of ted kennedy next? walking out of the water, in a nude-nightie, his crotch hairs sticking out between the stitches, his toenails painted an alluring shade of purple, the mascara running from his eyes (not tears, just water), stroking his man breasts and pinching lightly at his nipples, his manhood slightly pulsing? don't you?!
20 - Mark Schannon
zinger...cut that out. If i puke on my keyboard and the computer fries, I'm sending you the bill.
This is a sick place. I thought we were all highbrow types...oh wait, I wrote the article.
anyway, please people, enough with the gross stuff.
In Jameson Veritas
21 - Jet in Columbus
Yeah, zingzing, stop that before you go blind blind
22 - Andy Marsh
was that Teddy coming out of the water in Chappaquiddick?
23 - Jet in Columbus
I wonder if Teddy was wearing a Teddy?
24 - Mark Schannon
I'm washing my hands of the lot of you. Plus, you're all ignoramousesesusis...everyone knows Teddy doesn't wear pajamas. Sheesh. So much for a class joint.
In Jameson Veritas
25 - Jet in Columbus
Oh GOD I could go for a class joint about now-preferably some Mexican Gold. Damn you can never find those $3 pickers when you need them!