Mitt also seems to have an issue connecting to the common folk:
I feel your deep pain,
No imported caviar
We use domestic.
His chief opponent, Newt Gingrich, needs to explain his highly paid work for Fannie Mae:
What is the big deal?
Don’t all history teachers
Get one million bucks?
He’s also received some mileage from attacking the press:
Stand by the mirror
It takes a lot of practice,
To be indignant.
Rick Santorum, though behind in the polls, is still hanging on:
It’s hard asking folks,
To get info about me,
But without Google.
To the sorrow of comedians and satirists everywhere, Rick Perry is no longer in the race,. Nevertheless, we’ll give him a shoutout:
When I write haikus,
I forget the third line – oops.
OK, enough about the Republican race. I’m not particularly happy with much of Barack Obama’s record, especially the way he’s often caved into Congress:
I meet you halfway,
Then I start to compromise,
What firm leadership?
Of course, this is my particular viewpoint. If there are any Tea Party members still reading at this point, I’m sure you can come up with something more, er, colorful. Be my guest.
Finally, let’s not forget our garrulous vice president:
I just can’t stop at
17 syllables and
three lines. It’s just too
hard.
Now, I know none of this is going to take off. And that’s probably a good thing. If this technique becomes more popular, there will soon be paid political consultants specializing in haikus. Then there will be attempts to stretch the limits; 20 syllables, 25, etc. Arguments will ensue whether the new forms can truly be considered haikus. Charges of discrimination will fly back and forth, accompanied by demands that the market be regulated (pushed, I must admit, by the Democrats). Eventually, the entire mess will be litigated all the way up to the Supreme Court.
And you know that the Supreme Court would not issue their opinion in the form of a haiku. Hell, they’re lawyers! Some of their words will exceed the 17 syllable limit.
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