Twelve-year-old Norman resident Paige Bartholomew says she is too old to be spanked now, but her mother did not hesitate to “whop” her when she was a young girl. Once, when Bartholomew was only two years old, she went through her mother’s underwear drawer looking for Christmas presents.
“I didn’t ever find the Christmas presents, but I did find Mom’s blue sparkly panties,” Bartholomew said. “I put them on and put my arms through the holes and ran around the house. Mom saw me and knew what I’d been up to. I got spanked real quick for that.”
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, more than 90 percent of Americans spank their children. Bartholomew says she plans on doing the same thing.
“Sure I’m going to spank when I’m older,” Bartholomew said. “I don’t want bratty kids.”
Bartholomew may or may not get the chance to discipline her children the way she sees fit. Some Americans are worried that their “right” to spank their children may be slipping through the very hands that issue those little smacks on the backside. In a January 31, 2007, article entitled “Who’s in Charge?” published in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Mackenzie Carpenter wrote that California Assemblywoman Sally Lieber would be introducing a bill in February 2007 that could outlaw spanking young children three years of age and younger. By the time Lieber’s bill was introduced, it had been severely modified, but the idea of outlawing spanking has left several Americans debating the ideas of discipline.
The bill stirred an uproar of zealous supporters as well as angry parents concerned about loosing their right to discipline. A University of Oklahoma student, Shawnda Rodgers, says she and her husband spank their son, Ean Rodgers, at least twice a week.
“I think [Lieber’s bill] is a joke,” Rodgers said. “There’s a different way to discipline for everyone. Some need time out, some spanking. By passing laws against spanking, they’re taking away a parent’s right to govern their child. I mean, I don’t think you should ever leave bruises, but it’s a parent’s right to discipline their child how they see fit. How is a parent supposed to expect respect from their children when the state doesn’t respect them?”
According to Ben Harder’s article, “When Parents Lift Their Hands,” in the February 19, 2007, issue of the Los Angeles Times, spanking has been on the decline even without laws against it. More often, parents say they put their children in timeout or take away privileges as punishment. However, for Rodgers and her husband, punishments like timeout do not work for Ean.
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Article comments
1 - Zedd
I hope that soon enough there will be an overhaul in the psychiatric and psychological community. Many unsubstantiated ALERTS have gone out to the public that have put unnecessary stress on good, reasonable, loving people because of the carelessness of these professionals.
A few years back everyone was claiming to have repressed memories of sexual abuse. It turns out that it is extremely difficult for the human brain to repress memories to that extent. All of a sudden the sexual abuse "fad" disappeared. Thousands of parents were being accused by adult children because the kids had had a feeling that something might have happened to them in childhood.
There is a difference between spanking and beating your child.
We've been told to give time out to our children, waisting our time counting (giving them extra attention), kneeling down to their level and speaking in a special tone.... instead of creating an environment where they know that ultimately you will suffer a terrible consequence in life if you break rules. You don't get to sit out for a while and everything is back to normal. Your boss wont count, neither will the kid at school if you mess with him. Drugs and alcohol wont count when abused, neither will your college professor when you don't do your work. If you commit a crime the courts wont go down to your level, they will use their authority and might to put you in your place.
I was rarely spanked as a child. I understood that spanking was the ultimate point at which I didn't want to get to so all my dad had to do was give me THE LOOK and sanity was regained on my part. He was very loving, playful, goofy, smart and engaging. We did a lot of laughing in my home and discussing the issues of the day. He also spanked me good to help me clear my mind when I had gotten a little confused :o). Now as for discussing my feelings when I had broken rules over and over again (chuckle) that didn't happen. Whats to discuss? I didn't want to do what I was required. Most of the time it was because i was lazy or bored. No need for psychological analysis.
I know people who don't spank their children who say the most horrible things to them. They yell all of the time. It's heart wrenching. They are worn out and angry at their kids. The kids are disruptive, uncouth and just unlikeable no matter how attractive they may be.
Who would want that for their child.
2 - Baronius
I'm not positive, but I think there's a mistake in this article. You speculate on why child abuse would increase as anti-spanking laws are passed. I'd bet that child abuse increases because spanking is now classified as child abuse. It's not the behaviour that changes; it's the label attached to it.
3 - Diana Hartman
because i don't want anyone telling me how i may or may not raise my children, i fully support the right of every dumbass parent (who voluntarily maintains their status as uneducated by refusing to entertain, much less learn more than one mode of discipline) to spank their children...
4 - RJ
Great comment, Zedd. Especially this part:
"I was rarely spanked as a child. I understood that spanking was the ultimate point at which I didn't want to get to so all my dad had to do was give me THE LOOK and sanity was regained on my part."
I think many people can relate to this anecdote. Myself included.
5 - RJ
"I know people who don't spank their children who say the most horrible things to them. They yell all of the time. It's heart wrenching."
Another good point. I know a gal who is a single mom and has a nine-year old son. She never spanks him, but she is CONSTANTLY yelling at him and putting him in "timeout," even for the most mild of infractions. And by yelling, I mean literally SCREAMING, to the point I was almost embarrassed to be around her when she and her son were in the same room.
Of course, by now the child has learned that there are no "real" consequences for misbehaving; just a loud voice and a bunch of empty threats he has become largely immune to and mostly ignores. He's a nice kid, but I fear that without a strong male role model in his life (his father lives almost 1000 miles away, and he sees him just a couple times a year), he is likely to become a juvenile delinquent. :-/
6 - RJ
"You speculate on why child abuse would increase as anti-spanking laws are passed. I'd bet that child abuse increases because spanking is now classified as child abuse. It's not the behaviour that changes; it's the label attached to it."
I believe you're spot-on, Baronius. It works that way with a lot of criminal justice statistics.
A local police force will begin a "crackdown" on drunk drivers, for example, and the result will be an increase in drunk-driving arrests. A graph would therefore show a "spike" in drug-driving arrests immediately after the crackdown began. A sophist might use this data to argue that the new policy has been counter-productive. Does the data mean that the crackdown has caused more people to drive drunk? No, it simply means that the police have caught more of the people who engage in that illegal behavior.
Crime statistics are a funny thing...
7 - Shaz
I lived in Sweden for about four years. Sweden is a non-spanking society where it is illegal to spank your children. As a result I have first hand seen how unruly and rude the kids in Sweden are. No respect for elders, they talk back and are loud in public. I saw with my own eyes children breaking bottles on the streets in front of hundreds of bystanders, and finding it amusing. They are true vandals very few of them are socially tolerable. All this because the parents have lost their authority to control their children in a God given way.
I believe man has been given this mandate by God to control and teach their children, as long as they do it in love with patience. Through prayer asking God to help them, parents can win their children’s hearts, even when corporal-punishment is deemed necessary. Parents should look for opportunities to do this so they convey the message that they are not out to get their children. Children that receive no correction appropriately will never feel true direction in life and will consequently feel un-loved.
8 - Dennis
Many of the Psychologists trying push non-corporal punishment have no practical parenting experience and a lack of understaning of both Religion and Nature's examples.
The greatest real time experiment, showing the detrimental effects of forbidding discipline, is the US public school system where violent crimes, drug and arms trafficing have skyrocketed. Many public schools are losing children to home schooling because gangs of undisciplined children have now respect and no fear of authority are now threating. Many schools in my area are run like prisons.
The experiemnt is failing and the message is clear.
9 - Tom Johnson
Six years ago, a Canadian school principal was busted for possessing child pornography. Specifically, he collected pictures of children being spanked. Turns out he'd also spanked a number of students during his career.
In 2002, the FBI broke up a nationwide child-spanking pornography ring. A few of its members even made films using their own kids, who could be heard tearfully pleading their innocence.
Now, it's not really news that spanking can take on sexual overtones, as anyone who's seen "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" can tell you. If you doubt it, just type "spanking" into a search engine and see what kind of results you get. And since there are people out there who are sexually drawn to children, it figures that some would enjoy spanking them.
Tragically for many victims, though, society has mostly failed to recognize the potential for sexual abuse in the practice of spanking children or even young adults. Perpetrators often deflect suspicion simply by playing the discipline card.
It's high time we woke up to this problem.
10 - PDeverit
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE:
Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit.
Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit.
I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do.
There are several reasons why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals:
Plain Talk About Spanking
by Jordan Riak,
The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children
by Tom Johnson,
NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say
by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D.
Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational resources, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research with the recommended reads-visit nospank.net.
Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child bottom-slapping isn't a good idea:
American Academy of Pediatrics,
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry,
Center For Effective Discipline,
PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals,
Churches' Network For Non-Violence,
Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu,
Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps,
Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children,
United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child.
In 26 countries, child corporal punishment is prohibited by law (with more in process). In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.