Condy Trips Up on a New Middle East
Condoleezza Rice huffed and puffed her way through the bombed airports of Middle East to assure the world that the killings of Lebanese civilians would be stopped after reaching a durable, sustainable, permanent solution. The Bush babe wants a 'new Middle East' which would not have to seek solutions through a war. So, let the present war continue till a stage is reached when no more wars would be needed.
A war to end all the wars? Huh, Condy?
The Secretary of State has described the plight of Lebanon as a part of the ‘birth pangs of a new Middle East’. Not having made a baby yet, Rice might be excused for not knowing that how painful deliveries can be, but anyway there she was, smiling with a shell-hit looking Lebanese Prime Minister Fuad Siniora. It was difficult to figure out precisely why she looked so cheerful.
After another smile-wink session with another Whale Shark of the Red Sea - Israeli Prime Minister-by-accident Ehud Olmert (the man who at long last has proved himself to be no sissy even if he was never an army hunk like Ariel Sharon or Ehud Barak) - Ms. Rice sagaciously declared ‘it is time to say to those that don't want a different kind of Middle East that we will prevail. They will not.’
No, Dubya's girl was not talking about Iraq. She meant Lebanon.
In the same fast-food trip, Dr Rice (Yes, She is a Ph.D., and a professor of Political Science) also drove to Ramallah to meet Palestine’s powerless President Mahmoud Abbas to express her administration's 'great concerns about the sufferings of innocent people throughout the region'.
No kidding. These were the words. True emotions of the present US administration finally confessed and revealed. Believe it or not!
Huff puff, Condy later flew to a cooler Rome to attend an international conference on the crisis.
George in Tony’s Sweater
Dumb Dubya was wondering while cutting grass at his Crawford ranch just how the crazy leaders of the crazier Hezbollah could be called to stop 'this shit'. Wearing a sweater that Tony Blair knitted for him, Bush mulled over the British Prime Minister’s offer of visiting the region. Perhaps he should have sent Tony instead. Poodles could go and talk and argue and bark and could afford to return back empty-handed but if hot-booted power-suited Condy was there, she had to succeed. And it was not happening. Tch tch tch.
The Street Scare
Far away from the smoke-choked air of the bomb-screwed Lebanon, in the simmering July heat of the Saudi sands, in one of his several palaces, His Majesty Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz al-Saud was lying sprawled on a blue-green silken sheet spread over his mahogany bed that had edges plated with real gold, topped with a headboard encrusted with real diamonds and pearl.
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Article comments
1 - Dean
And the core issue is over a few strips of land not worth the powder to blow it to hell.
2 - ss
God damn. It was sad and sickening, but at the same time breezy and light. And it just hit every nail on the head. The only things I'd add:
MEANWHILE, BACK IN TEHRAN
Ahmadinejad & the Supreme look through the titalating state sanctioned magazine 'Horny Lebanese Girls Go Wild for the Fatherly Patriarchs of the Glorious Revolution, Who's Only Wish is to Protect the Sweet Flower of Motherhood' (we're told it sounds sane in Farsi)
Ahmadinejad nudges the Supreme and says
"Look at the leg on that one!"
WHILE IN A SMALL OFFICE AT VIKING PRESS
An assistant editor; working on a book co-authored by Vladmir Putin and George 'the Dub' Bush, entitled, of course, 'Soulmates' - strikes the line "You show me one democraticlly elected leader who got beat at the polls for killing to MANY Muslims, traitor."
And the line
"Of course every President who wins election by killing most Muslim peoples wants to maintain strict system of check and balance to reign in power of chief executive."
Then, in the final scene that always lets you know there will be a sequel
IN THE SMALLEST SPA AT THE PALACE
Prince 'I'm not the Fredo' Bandar dials the number of Jeb 'Neither am I' Bush on the crappy cell phone that can't even download porn, but Prince Turki, yeah Turki gets everth-
"Oh, hello Jeb, Listen, I have to make this quick, they only give me so many minutes, austerity's a real bitch... You know that shit your brother can't make stop in Somalia, well, it turns out not all the guys in the ICC are so bad. I know some good Muslim fundamentalist revolutionaries over there, and I have some guys in Eritrea who promise they'll only sell guns to the fanatics we can trust. What do you say, man, you stabilize a failed state your brother plum forgot abert, get to be Dad's favorite again... Then, when you're Prez, you put in good word for me with the King-" Bandar laughs and says - "yeah, this does feels so Syriana, man. But if you're interested, I have the numbers. Just say the word."
3 - gazelle
the shows coming to a close....
said condi as she administered the iv tanquillizer to ehud....
come back for the next one or call me.
best
4 - K
Its a great piece. Exposed all the players standing naked under a bright day light.
5 - ray
the idea of "a new middle east" is an old one, and in this context far too ambitious..just like a baby, a new middle east takes planning and agreement--we don't want any surprises; right now, what we need is an ad hoc solution that will get us out of the war state of mind and into one of planning
i don't think Dumb Dubya has time to cut his own grass
is it really the world view that israel is America Junior, one who intimidates others with its military might and unjustifiably sets up occupations in foreign territories? i understand they are bombing lebanese civilians, but hezbollah is a recognized terrorist organization that kills israeli civilians also, and who, in this case, initiated this war
i'm really sorry about the election guys..i didn't vote for dumb dubya